The Rigid Wanderer
by Seregunda
Summary: Getting captured by enemy ninja, not fun. Getting blackmailed into joining their ranks, no fun there. Being able to wander the world up until now had been what she lived for. What was a wanderer, who was stuck in the same place?
1. Beware the BiscuitMan!

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

Howling, thrashing, and screaming bloody murder. Those were the only memories that had invaded her mind about the past week or two. Or three. She had lost count long ago.

Too many differences between this place and the last. After all, it had been years_ since_ the last. Years since she had affiliated herself with other people. The last people were bad enough. Like the ones she had met recently, but worse.

At least _these_shinobi had no intention of touching her. Hopefully.

It was a first for her, being captured. She had been fighting with a group of bandits she had taken a particular dislike to after seeing the way they treated the slaves in their caravan. She had defeated them easily enough, but her rage at those men had caused her to use up a lot more chakra than was necessary. It had been her downfall, that emotion.

Nearby ANBU had felt a surge of chakra and had sourced it, as was their duty she knew, but she really did not have the strength of mind to deal with one ANBU member, let alone a whole squad. She had taken down every member but one. And that one, had defeated her. She had landed more than one serious blow on him, but she was tired. Too tired to think, and she had stopped caring a long time ago. The swirling red eyes of the man behind the ANBU mask were the last things she remembered seeing before passing out from exhaustion, and waking up in the very cell she was sitting in.

Different ninja had come in every day to interrogate her. One had been particularly insistent. He was bald, and wore a bandanna that covered the baldness and the scars that covered that. Tall and scary, with a rough voice. Had a name that sounded like 'biscuits'. She would never say that out loud though. As a matter of fact, she hadn't said anything out loud since her arrival. She could often hear the guards outside the door asking each other if they thought she spoke a different language and couldn't understand them, or if she was a mute. Apparently nobody else had lasted this long against biscuit-man yet.

The few visitors other than biscuit-man that she had were careful to conceal their village symbols from her, apparently to disorientate her. They clearly thought she was an idiot, or were so stupid that they themselves had not realised she could see the four great faces of the Hokages carved into a giant mountain outside her barred window. The fifth was currently under construction.

She had been informed that she was to meet with the newly-appointed Hokage today. Biscuit-man said so, although he had muttered 'If you can understand a bloody word I say...' afterwards.

She was told not to speak out of turn, followed by a snicker of 'that shouldn't be much of a problem', and to pay great respect to her as this lady is one of the legendary Sannin.

'Hey, gaki, time to go.' a guard had opened the door to her cell, shining a small torch into the slightly cramped area, illuminating the place she hadbeen forced to live in for days on end. One, dilapidated bed with dingy sheets was in the corner, one rickety wooden stool sat next to the window and a half-shattered mirror hung on the wall above a rusty sink. Fun.

She stood up and followed the guard, a chuunin clearly, who had a weird bandage across his nose and wild, untamed black hair. She fought down the urge to slap him for calling her a brat. That would destroy everything that she had worked for. If she showed even an inkling that she could understand what they say, her silence would have been in vain.

Instead, she rose dully from the stool she had been sitting on and followed him without a fuss. She could hear whispers along the corridors about how they 'couldn't believe that girl had beaten those ANBU' and 'what kind of idiots did they send to catch this girl'.

She was blindfolded upon exiting the building. She almost rolled her eyes at this. She had memorised the general layout of the town from her window over the past few weeks. It wasn't as if she had anything better to do, so there was no point to this. Again, she kept silent.

She could feel stares on her back as they walked through the town towards the Hokage's Tower. She knew she looked a mess. She had been deprived of proper food, not unwillingly, she had just refused to eat whatever was given to her in the prison. Who knows what they could have done to poison it. She had been allowed to wash to an extent. The extent that the old sink in the prison allowed her to. No comb or hair-care products were provided, so her hair looked a mess, and she knew that she had only been able to get rid of some of the grime using that sink.

The only thing she could say for sure, was at least she didn't smell. _That_ was one thing she had never let it go so far as. She never had no matter where she was, bad hygiene was something she had always had a thing against. Probably because she had seen so much of it at this stage.

* * *

Seregunda: Seriously, thanks for the heads up in that review. I hate misspellings in my work more than anything. That's what I get for thinking I can write at midnight.


	2. The 'Youthful' interrogators

Seregunda: Hm... I just realised the document I used for my first chapter ran away from me. Within two days. It must have really hated me. So instead I'm going to say this here. This is a non-massacre fic, people! Thank you for reading.

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

To say the least, she had been rendered speechless. The so-called 'Hokage' was hanging over her desk, bottle of sake in hand, completely drunk. Not even tipsy, just head-on drunk and the woman next to her, Shizune, was acting as if it were completely normal! What had the village been reduced to in order to call that person a Sannin, let alone the Hokage!

'What's your name, gaki?' the older blonde woman slurred, stumbling over the last word and not even noticing the visible twitch that scoured the newcomer's body.

Thankfully, Shizune was the only person in the room that had any sense at the time. 'That's the whole point of her being here, Tsunade-sama. She hasn't spoken or responded since her arrival. Ibiki-san has not managed to extract any information from her in the course of a whole month.' the dark-haired lady supplied nervously, edging away as Tsunade's eyes narrowed.

Ibiki! That was the name. He'd probably have a heart attack if he knew there was someone somewhere calling him 'biscuit-man'. It was close enough though. She hadn't met a child alive that never called biscuits 'bickies'.

'We got a dumb one, huh? HELLO, CAN YOU UNDERSTAND?' Tsunade began yelling in her drunken stupor, waving her arms in front of the prisoner's face. 'Tsunade-sama, we mean she either can't talk or won't. We never said she was stupid.' Shizune sighed as the prisoner began twitching, trying to hold back the streams of laughter that were begging to be left out. Life can be cruel. She could withstood torture and interrogation without batting an eyelid, but _why_did they have to have this loony as their Hokage? She'd burst out laughing within the next few minutes and all her silence would have been in vain.

'Huh? She's just being shy! C'mere gaki!' Tsunade grinned and began to reach across her desk towards a now-thoroughly frightened prisoner. She leaped backwards into the man with a bandage around his nose and stared up at him, wide-eyed and pleading. 'Sorry miss. I take orders from her.' he whispered and motioned towards the blonde alcoholic.

'She's usually bad, but never this bad. You've got bad luck.' Shizune sighed at her and snatched the sake bottle from the unsuspecting Hokage's hand and tossed it out the window quickly. Things got worse from there, this 'Hokage' then began complaining. And whining. For a whole three quarters of an hour. The three other occupants in the room were all extremely thankful when the Hokage began sobering up.

'So this is the girl that took out our best ANBU team. You sure? She doesn't look as if she could take out a fly, let alone Hana and Shisui.' Tsunade glanced at Shizune, who nodded.

'This is her. Hana's dogs wouldn't fight her for some reason, so that took a lot of her attack power away. She escaped every genjutsu Shisui set, and the other members of the team, other than Itachi, were all taken out before they could do more than throw a kunai.' she explained.

Oh yes. Itachi must be red-eyes. He's the one who trapped her in the mongoose jutsu. Or something to that effect. Either way, being tied to that pole hurt like hell, not to mention being stabbed all those times. All in a few seconds, but felt like hours and hours. She bet if she met him now she could take him though. She had been exhausted when she last fought him and there was a whole team of other ANBU to help him.

'You'd never guess. Even with the dirt she looks too... prissy. Or something. Can't think of a better word. Without that grime I probably wouldn't even think she was a kunoichi.' Tsunade narrowed her eyes and looked the prisoner up and down with interest.

'Back to the point Tsunade-sama. She won't talk.' Shizune finally stopped trying to appease the older woman. Thank kami, now something would actually be done.

'Stubborn gaki. Well, if even Ibiki couldn't crack her, I guess it's my turn.' Tsunade leered at her, causing the prisoner to shift in discomfort.

'Tsunade-sama, you don't _know_anything about interrogation.' Shizune sighed, yet again. That had been happening a lot.

'I don't need to study interrogation to know the best kind of torture there is. It's loud, obnoxious, _youthful_ and very _green. _And for some unknown reason wears spandex. Guard, get Might Gai in here right now!' Tsunade smirked as the guard groaned and left the room. Clearly dreading this person. Not a very good sign.

'Tsunade-sama, isn't that a bit too much?' Shizune tried to intervene nervously, but backed down upon Tsunade's glare. 'Apparently not.' she muttered under her breath and pulled out her clipboard, doing something that Tsunade should probably be doing.

Seconds later, a crash could be heard coming from one of the lower levels of the building. Groans could be heard everywhere else.

'If I, Might Gai, should fail at my task, I shall do one thousand laps around the training grounds!' an overly-enthusiastic voice could be heard yelling about two floors down. The voice was so loud it could easily be heard from the Hokage's office. 'And I shall join you, Gai-sensei! For I too, should be held responsible!' another voice wailed, just as loudly. They sounded a lot closer within the two-second gap that occurred between their sentences.

The prisoner in question frowned. She had thought that they were bringing only one interrogation specialist. It never occured to her that Konoha would have _two_specialists even more skilled than biscui...er, Ibiki. He was, despite his failure, the best she had come across in her lifetime.

That second, the door to the office slammed open and the guard from before toppled into the room, wheezing. 'I hope you don't mind Tsunade-sama, but Rock Lee sort of... came along. I don't think the two can be separated for very long.' he coughed and fell sideways.

'Even better. Gai, Lee, get in here!' Tsunade called and two voices called back.

'Hai Hokage-sama!' before bursting through the door and filling the whole room with their... youthfulness.

When it came down to it, she couldn't hold it in. She could withstand torture but, in the end, she knew she had been beaten. There was no way she could hold in her laughter after seeing _that_. A man in his twenties wearing _lime green_spandex, huge caterpillar eyebrows, and a soup-bowl haircut had bound into the room. It was difficult, but she could have taken that. It was when version 2.0 came in that she knew she had lost. Basically a fifteen or sixteen year old version of the afore-mentioned idiot. His eyebrows were slightly smaller, but he made up for that with his huge bug-eyes. Poor kid.

So yeah. She lost the second she saw them. She burst into peals of laughter that echoed around the room from the moment they stepped in. Cruel, sure. Not that she could help it though. She was naturally a happy person, it took all she had not to laugh at _Tsunade_ until now. And these two made her look downright normal. Tears even appeared at one stage.

'Busted. Thank you Gai, Lee. You may leave now.' Tsunade laughed and waved the two confused men out of her office.

'Gai-sensei, we completed our mission, right?' Lee frowned once outside the door.

'That we have Lee. I am one step closer to surpassing my eternal rival!' Gai posed and flashed teeth.

'Yosh, to achieve our goals faster, let us run laps around the training grounds!' Lee cheered and they both disappeared into the sunset. Which had magically appeared in the middle of the afternoon.

* * *

'We know you're not a mute now. We also know you can understand us from your reactions to certain words, _gaki_. You might as well talk.' Tsunade prompted the prisoner to speak. A long pause followed this.

'What do you want me to say?' she sighed and straightened her back, wiping the last of her tears of laughter from her eyes. No point in staying silent now. They knew, and they'd figure it out eventually if they haven't already.

'Good girl. First off, and this has been bugging me, what _age_ are you?' Tsunade asked, leaning closer slightly. The prisoner nearly burst into peals of laughter again. She had been expecting a more serious question.

'I'm about nineteen.' she rattled off the top of her head. It was close enough, she didn't even know herself. This is the nineteenth Spring she'd been alive for at any rate. Tsunade nodded.

'Blood type?'

'Not a clue.'

'Height?'

'I think five foot eight.'

'Village of birth?'

'Wasn't born in a village.'

'Name?' Tsunade was desperately clutching at straws. She could tell that this girl had told the truth with every question she had asked. Maybe she was an amnesiac, but something just didn't feel right about this.

'Rurouni.' the prisoner answered, apparently proud that she could finally answer something for sure.

'Heh, wanderer, huh? You won't be wandering for a while now. And that's not your real name, is it?' Tsunade asked.

'No, you're right. It's not, but it's the only name I have. I picked it when I was ten, because I was never given one. I wasn't very imaginative.' Rurouni grinned, and Tsunade faltered. What kind of life did a person need to have, to have to pick their own name? What kind of people had she been around to have never gotten a name? Forget it, she told herself, continue with the questioning.

'Where did you get your training?'

'I made a lot of friends while wandering. Some of them were shinobi and they showed me a few tricks. I figured out the rest through fighting.'

Tsunade was stumped. This girl was too confusing. But, by the looks of it, practically harmless. The only reason she had fought was because enemy shinobi had surrounded her. Survival instinct. It had gotten Rurouni to where she was today, why would she ignore it?

'Alright, I've made a decision, Rurouni.' Tsunade smirked. Shizune blanched visibly upon hearing this. Tsunade might have a clearer head than earlier, but letting her make decisions that regarded other peoples' lives while she was in this state was just not supposed to happen. Not like Shizune could do anything about it though.

'What is it?' Rurouni questioned curiously, eyes widening.

'You're gonna join our village! You're too strong to even think about starting off as a genin. But someone as strong as you is bound to have picked up a bounty or something, right? Tell me the bounty and I might be able to boost you up to a high rank!' Tsunade grinned. Rurouni was beginning to suspect that the alcohol still had a firm hold of this woman's brain.

'It's been a while since I checked the bingo book, but if you give me one I'll be able to find it for you. They don't know my name so they decided to name me themselves.' Rurouni accepted the small book from Shizune and leafed through it diligently. This was around the time the guard from before regained enough strength to stand up and peer over her shoulder curiously.

'Here I am! See, near the very back. 'Wild-cat'. It's a stupid name. But there's my bounty.' Rurouni tried to hand the small book to the quickly-paling Hokage. 'I don't think I need to see it to tell you. Rurouni, are you aware that you have one of the top ten bounties in the world? And that photographers are willing to pay something in the millions for your photograph because you were never caught on camera?' Tsunade accepted the book back shakily.

'Dei-chan said something about that the last time we spoke. I wasn't really listening though.' Rurouni admitted as Shizune's eyes widened and the guard took a few steps back nervously.

'Well I think I can tell you that you're a jounin pretty easily. Prove your loyalty and we might let you into the ANBU.' Tsunade was in the process of taking out a forehead protector, at this stage even she was starting to rethink her decision.

'But... I don't want to stay here.' Rurouni informed them, sadness tinting her voice.

'Tough luck, you are!' Tsunade snapped, before realising who she was talking to and covering her mouth with her hand, cursing profusely.

'Why? I want to travel...' the prisoner trailed off, glancing out the window at the sky. Tsunade had a funny feeling in her gut that the girl was contemplating jumping. Thankfully it never came to that as Shizune intervened.

'Why don't you try it out? There's a lot of nice people in the village and by the sounds of it you've never been part of a village before. Just for a while, you can come back to us if you really hate it here.' Kami bless Shizune. Only she was that good at consoling others and convincing them to do things. Like paperwork. Or in this case, joining a village, making the village stronger, and for an excuse to laugh in other villages' faces that _they_ Konoha, had nabbed Wild-cat, and there was nothing they could do about it.

Especially now that Rurouni had begun signing the forms for her semi-permanent citizenship to Konoha with an amused expression on her face.

She knew that they were trying to trick her. It was blatantly obvious. But Konoha meant showers, food, showers, bed, showers and very good training facilities. Oh, and also showers. All of this would be given to her for free until she settled down. Might as well roll with it until she came to a proper decision like she always did. Planning ahead was way too boring.


	3. The Boy Vaccuum cleaner

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

As Rurouni sat in Ichiraku's Ramen stand, Rurouni contemplated her time in the village. The week she had spent in Konoha had, thus far, been relatively uneventful.

Rurouni had spent most of her free time getting to know the area and the people, in her own way. Which involved doing what she did best. Wandering around the town aimlessly and stopping to talk to anyone who looked interesting.

So far, she decided that her favourite place to eat was a barbecue restaraunt where she met two gennin, a chuunin and a jounin who informed her they were regulars there. They seemed nice, if not a little strange. Their leader never stopped smoking though. Rurouni never did like those death sticks, even when she was too young to know they were bad for you. They smelled of danger, something Rurouni had learned to try to avoid.

The other three appeared to be a few years younger than her. Roughly around the twelve or thirteen mark. It's not like she herself would be able to judge accurately, she wasn't even sure of her own birthday. You see, she was fully aware of the age that she had told Tsunade... But the person that had first informed Rurouni of her age was the least trustworthy person she had yet to meet. And the age had changed every time she had asked. Nineteen was simply the age she would be if she had believed his last statement. From what Rurouni could tell, physically, was that nineteen was the oldest she could possibly be. Sixteen being the youngest. But the age nineteen simply left more possiblities open for her, so she'd stick with that for now.

Anyway, other than that she had met up with that '_Green Beast'_yet again. And his team. They had been at the training grounds near that big waterfall trying to climb up it's surface. She pitied the two normal students, Neji and Tenten, for putting up with the antics of their other two team mates. Gai, Rurouni thought, was plain creepy. At least Lee was cute, in a little brother way, or lost puppy.

Unknown to her, the seat next to Rurouni was suddenly occupied by something undeniably... orange.

'HEY AYAME! I'M STARVED FROM TRAINING, I WANT A PORK RAMEN PLEEAAASSSEEE!!!!!!!!' the 'orange one' screeched suddenly, almost causing Rurouni to dump the contents of her meal onto her lap. The kid was lucky she had quick reflexes or he would be the one paying for it.

'Naruto, it's great to see you back, we've been missing our number one customer.' the pretty girl behind the counter, who Rurouni supposed was Ayame, responded warmly. How the girl still had her ears intact was a mystery to her. But then again... Rurouni was nearly positive she had seen some kind of kin-coloured earplugs in there as a precaution. Smart.

Rurouni watched in bewilderment as not one, but six ramen bowls were placed in front of the boy. The chef couldn't possibly expect... No way. In under a minute the kid had downed all six and was now giving the puppy-dog eyes to the father and daughter behind the counter.

She couldn't help it. Rurouni burst out laughing. Which attracted the attention of said orange one to her left, who cocked his head to the side quizzically. 'What?' he tilted his head a bit more, but immediately let the question rest when more bowls were placed in front of him and he slurped them up like the bottomless pit Rurouni had begun to think he was.

'Nothing kid. I've just never seen someone eat quit like you.' she chuckled lightly as the boy's face lit up.

'You bet! Ichiraku's ramen is the best around, I try to _never _eat anywhere else!' Naruto puffed his chest out proudly, flashing Rurouni the victory sign, which gave her the awful feeling of deja vu and lead her to thinking about Gai again. That man should be considered a criminal for that outfit by itself, let alone infecting innocent children with his freakish _youth_. The dude was seriously into his twenties, and he went around thinking he was younger than his own students. That just wasn't right.

'That's customer loyalty for you. That kiosk girl said you were Naruto, right?' Rurouni felt drawn to this kid, he released a seriously good vibe if you could stand the noise level. Adorable too, he reminded Rurouni of some of the kids she used to see in audiences. A little bit older though, with his blonde hair, tanned skin and fox-like whisker marks. A bit short for her tastes. Probably because of all the ramen.

'Dattebayo! You'd better remember it too, because I'll be the Hokage someday!' he cheered enthusiastically. ' Good. That office could use some cheer, it was like someone died when I was stuck there.' Rurouni mused aloud, failing to notice Naruto's sudden eagerness. Apparently belief in him was something he didn't acquire that often. At least that was what she could gather after being grabbed into a bone-crushing hug and having a million things spouted at her at once. Name's were mentioned, she supposed they were that list of 'belivers'. Some teacher Iruka, Sasuke(although that name came out as more of a growl), Sakura, Kakashi and god forbid the day she meets someon named 'pervy-sage'.

The two had been completely immersed in conversation before Naruto came out with possibly the most random comment yet. And considering they had been talking about sheep being able to suntion-cup their way up glass buildings, it was pretty random.

'You're kinda pretty actually. I didn't notice cause you don't act like a girl. What's your name?' he grinned from ear to ear and turned completely around in his swivel-seat to face Rurouni.

'The name's Rurouni. Nice of you to finally ask, _dattebayo_.' she teased, robbing his word and making him flush with embarrassment. Maybe he hadn't realised what it sounded like coming out of someone else's mouth or something.

Rurouni didn't know whether to be insulted at this boy's comment or not. She decided on not, she knew perfectly well that she didn't act like a girl. If anything she acted more masculine than a lot of guys she knew.

'Naruto! Nice to see you again buddy! When did you get back from dragging the new Hokage back?' another voice, sounding just as... exubrant as Naruto's called from behind their backs. A flash of white, and something was sitting in Rurouni's lap licking her hand.

'Last week! I learned an ultra-cool new jutsu too, way better than anything you've ever seen!' Naruto turned to the newcomer as Rurouni turned her attention to the bundle of fluff in her lap.

'You've gotta come training with me and... Akamaru, what the hell're you doing?! You can't just go and do that! I'm really sorry miss, he's perfectly trained, I swear!' the boy began apologising profusely to Rurouni and made to grab his puppy, who simply snuggled a little deeper into the crook of Rurouni's arm.

'Don't worry about it kid, I love animals! You said his name was Akamaru, right?' Rurouni began tickling the puppy's stomach as she faced the newcomer. He looked to be about the same age as Naruto and had practically the same hairstyle, just brown rather than blonde. He had sharp almost animalistic eyes and red tribal tattoos in the shape of fangs on either side of his face. All in all, he seemed nearly like a puppy himself. Rurouni felt another sense of deja vu coming on, just not quite as strong as the whole Gai/Lee thing. She knew this would kill her until she figured out who he reminded her of.

'Good,' the boy sighed in relief. 'Akamaru usually doesn't take to strangers straight away so I was kind of hoping you wouldn't start screaming.' the boy grinned, revealing two rather pointy looking canines to Rurouni, who's memory suddenly decided to kick into action.

'Hey, you got any relatives in ANBU, kid? You remind me of a chick I ran into who practically had a pack of wolves.' Rurouni smiled gently as Akamaru began to doze off to her ministrations.

'Yeah, sadly. My sister Inuzuka Hana, I'm Inuzuka Kiba by the way.' the boy, now introduced as Kiba, grinned toothily.

'Thought so. The teeth and tattoos kind of gave it away. You're a shinobi like Naruto then?' Rurouni asked curiously, her hand travelling from Akamaru's stomach to his ears as he had now fallen asleep.

'Yup, and I'm gonna be in ANBU too. I don't recognise you from the village, who are you and where did you come from? Akamaru's never reacted to someone's scent like that before.' Kiba sat in the seat on Rurouni's right, eyes trained only on her and completely ignoring Naruto who had ordered another bowl of ramen.

'My name's Rurouni, I didn't come from anywhere really. Like my name, I usually just wandered from place to place. I'm still not so sure I want to stay in _this_ place.' she explained easily and gratefully accepted a glass of water from Ayame.

'You look younger than my sister and you're already travelling by yourself? You must be pretty strong, I heard there were bandits who were dealing in slaves just north of the village recently. You're either too strong for them or too lucky. They would have aimed for you right off the bat.' Kiba nodded as he used this as an excuse to glance Rurouni up and down. He couldn't exactly help it, certain aspects of this girl were hard to ignore.

She had honey coloured skin gained from all of that 'wandering' arouind outdoors she did so much. She was tall, taller than his sister at least. Her waist was small, and her curves very obvious. Not in the Tsunade way, but definitely big enough to look twice at. Which he was currently doing. Her eyes were a tinge of gold a couple of shades darker than her skin, amber or something similar, Kiba supposed. Her hair was probably one of her most distracting qualities, it was cerulean blue and tied into a swinging plait. Her clothes consisted of khaki combat pants that hung low on her hips and a simple jade tank top. She was obviously more interested in comfort than style, and looked as if she had come from a training camp.

'Hm, I guess. I heard they were found beaten nearly to death by your ANBU recently though. Nobody knows what happened them, but I don't think the slaves were complaining about it.' Rurouni avoided directly answering the question easily, and onto a topic that clealy interested the young Inuzuka who began asking all sorts of questions. It only got worse from there when Naruto joined in and Rurouni was practically running a talk show between them.

An hour and a half later Rurouni had escaped from the two... enthusiastic, gennins. They were cute, but there was only so much she could take in one sitting. Besides, Akamaru had woken up and needed to be taken back to the compound and Naruto had to meet up with some girl called Sakura, their sensei Kakashi, and some poor idiot who was unfortunate enough to have his parents name him 'Sasuke-teme'.

During Rurouni's longer-than-expected exchange she had discovered two things.

1) Naruto is her neighbour in her apartment block, in the apartment right across from hers.

2) Apparantly these apartments were dingy, and only just passed the health and safety bord by single digits this year.

So there she was, about to walk in the door of the apartment block, when an ANBU bumped into her on their way out. He was tallish, only just made six-foot, and had long black hair tied back in a ponytail. Rurouni couldn't see much through the mask, but boy did she recognise those red eyes.

'You're the mongoose guy!' Rurouni pointed an accusing finger at the seemingly bored ANBU captain.

'_Mangekyou_, and yes. You are Rurouni, I was informed that you were to have this envelope within a few days.' he pulled out a brown sealed envelope carefully from his pocket and handed it to Rurouni, who accepted it warily.

'She asked you to bring it within a few days, so you bring it a whole week later, huh? I know I gave you a couple of pretty hard jabs but I didn't think you'd hate me that much... er, Mongoose-man.' Rurouni raised an eyebrow and barely managed to prevent herself from laughing at the obvious look of disdain he was, probably, giving her beneath the mask. His eyes looked annoyed anyway.

'Those _jabs_ as you called them, prevented me from moving outside the boundary of my family home until today. Even now, I find moving difficult. Your taijutsu is like a man's.' the captain cut back.

'Ouch. Sorry, I didn't think an ANBU captain would be so _delicate_. Or sensitive, jeez.' Rurouni threw her eyes up to the heavens and went through the door, leaving a seething ANBU captain behind. He'd get over it eventually.

She kind of wished she'd tried to figure out his name though, he was fun to annoy. The only reason Rurouni didn't bother turn back was simply this: It's not like he wa going to tell her. Mongoose-dude was an ANBU after all.


	4. Cover your ears People, FANGIRL ALERT!

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

Naruto had, surprisingly, given Rurouni an extremely accurate description of the apartments. Just about inhabitable.

After moving in, Rurouni had major work to do, and had spent the next day and a half scrubbing, dusting and in some cases sterilising away all the... remaining memories of the apartment's last occupants. Certain stains on the wall, were substances Rurouni didn't want to corrupt her mind with. So, she pretended they didn't exist as she painted over them.

Naruto had recently taken up the habit of coming into her apartment unannounced, and begging for food. And usually falling asleep on her couch after dinner. Meaning: Naruto basically moved into the apartment with Rurouni. Not that she minded, she had always wanted a pet and he essentially did most of the important things a pet did for it's owner. Beg for food, take up space, crave attention, and make senseless noise.

'Naru-chan, wake up! You said you had to beat Sasuke-teme to the training grounds this morning because he was always there before you.' Rurouni ruffled the blonde's hair as she passed the couch, flipping a pancake as she did so.

'Morning. That smells great, but where's the _ramen_?' Naruto whined as he hopped over the back of the couch, scouring the kitchen table as if Rurouni had placed some kind of invisibilty jutsu on his precious ramen.

'You're too short, so I'm gonna feed you properly so you'll be taller than Sasuke-teme. You'd like that, right? Don't worry, I'll still feed you lots of ramen too.' Rurouni placed the pancakes in front of the ravenous jinchuriki, and snatched her hand away to avoid being eaten herself as he inhaled everything on the table in front of him.

'If it all tastes like this, that's fine by me, nee-chan! Especially if it gets me taller than Sasuke-teme!' That was another thing actually. Naruto had self-proclaimed himself as Rurouni's brother. Not something a normal pet does, but whatever floats his boat.

Rurouni chuckled at the kid's energy. He really was something else, she might even teach him a couple of tricks if he kept this up. She was fairly sure that the boy still had no clue who she was other than her chosen name, but that was nice too, to have someone want to be around you for you. And not on some whacked-up power trip, you'd be surprised how many whackos there are out there.

'Nee-chan! Come on, we have to go now!' Naruto whined, dancing around the door as he waited on a thoroughly confused Rurouni.

'We?' She questioned curiously, watching as comprehension dawned across Naruto's face.

'That's right, I knew there was something I forgot to tell you yesterday! The reason I wanna be first to the training area is because today is the day you have to bring a family member or someone close to you to training! I knew you might be busy so I tried asking Iruka, but he has to teach a class. Can you come?' Naruto had recently realised one of Rurouni's few weaknesses and began exploiting it for his own uses over the past few days. Conniving little maggot. What's her weakness? The puppy-dog eyes. Which, as most people know, are particularly effective when the user has bright blue eyes. Like Naruto.

'Fine. I've got nowhere to be anyway.' Rurouni sighed and couldn't help the grin that crept across her face as Naruto started his particularly _loud_ celebration dance and dragged her out of the building and over to the bridge where team 7 usually met.

Much to Naruto's chagrin, he was not the first person at the bridge. That quickly cleared up when he spotted _who_ had been there before him.

'Ohayo Sakura-chan!' Naruto's face lit up as he hurtled towards the pink-haired girl and her father, beaming brightly. Rurouni chuckled, so this was the famous Sakura-_chan_. Naruto had blabbed about her for hours on end. Rurouni was a little thrown by the difference in Naruto's description of her and the reality. It's not that the girl was ugly, she was actually kind of pretty, she just didn't seem th kunoichi type to Rurouni. But, Rurouni didn't judge her, Kami knows enough people bugged her about that.

It was funny, to see the father and daughter together. They looked very alike, Rurouni would have guessed that pink hair would come from the mother. That guy was seriously lucky his hair was a darker shade of pink than his daughter's.

'Naruto, I thought you'd have brought Iruka-sensei. Who's this girl?' Sakura asked, and Rurouni held down a shiver at her tinny voice. This girl had fangirl potential. She pited any guy good looking enough to catch her eye.

'This is Rurouni-neechan. Nee-chan, this is Sakura-chan!' Naruto grabbed Rurouni's arm and tugged the cerulean-haired girl into the conversation.

'I thought you were an orphan, Naruto.' Sakura asked confusedly.

'Self-proclaimed. He's more like my new pet, right Naru-chan?' Rurouni teased and watched as Naruto coloured bright red. She knew he hated it when she used his pet-name in public. It was more out of habit now than actual teasing though.

'Not in front of my team mate nee-chan!' Naruto whined, pulling lightly on her arm and Rurouni relented. For now.

'You must be Haruno Sakura, ne?' Rurouni turned to face the girl who nodded confidently. There's a good quality, Rurouni mentally cheered, she's confident!

'Nice to meet you Sakura-san, Haruno-san!' Rurouni grinned and both father and daughter smiled back and said their own words of greeting.

Next to arrive was Sasuke-teme and his mother. You can imagine Rurouni's embarrassment when she had found out the boy's name was just Sasuke, without the teme at the end. Thank kami for Mikoto, his mother, who called him by his name when introducing him to her. Naruto had a lot to answer for.

'Hi Saaassuuukkkee-kuuunnn!' Sakura simpered. Oh boy, Rurouni's prediction had come true. FANGIRL ALERT! With the voice and actions to match, she had latched on to Sasuke's arm and wouldn't let go. What Rurouni found most surprising is that the girl didn't even seem to care that there were parents around. Her own father sighed, having expected this behaviour from his only daughter. Mikoto was just laughing at Sasuke's expense as he tried to pry the overly-affectionate girl off his person.

Rurouni decided she liked Uchiha Mikoto, she seemed laid-back and an overall happy person. It was a wonder that cranky-looking kid scowling at Naruto came from her. The father must be an absolute gem. At least Sasuke got his good looks from his mother anyway.

Last to arrive, to nobody's surprise, was the ever-aloof Hatake Kakashi. As Rurouni looked him over, she could see he was the son of White Fang. Not that she was old enough to have known him or anything, but she'd seen pictures.

'Alright, I know this is a little unusual. And not my style of going about things at all. But, Gai wouldn't shut up about what a great success this was for his team unless I agreed to try it, so here we are.' he explained without any flair of enthusiasm whatsoever. Rurouni could tell this would be _interesting _if this lazy jounin had no interest in it.

'So what's up Kakashi-sensei, are we gonna do some cool mission especially for grown-ups?' Naruto twittered, eyes brightly shining. Rurouni chuckled at his one-track mind, knowing this 'mission' was nonexistent.

'No Naruto. We're just going to be doing exactly what we did the first day we met eachother. A bunch of introductions and the like. Again.' the copy-nin groaned. He was making it a little too obvious he was forced into this.

'Why? We already know about eachother!' Sakura whined, clearly wanting to just spend her day oggling at Sasuke.

'Don't ask me. It's Gai's fault, not mine. Something to do with youth anyway.' Kakashi answered lazily, pulling out a funny looking orange book that Mikoto immediately began glaring at, but it looked as if Haruno-san recognised it. Rurouni had personally never seen a book like that before, but from Mikoto's reaction, she doubted she wanted to.

'Sasuke, you went last the first time, so you start.' Kakashi nodded at the brooding boy while turning a page.

'Nothing's changed since the last time. There are few things I like, many I don't. My goal is that I want to be able to say I'm the best that _ever _came out of the Uchiha family.' Sasuke glared at the group, as if daring someone to contradict him. Mikoto just sighed at her son's antics, as if used to them.

'Now you, Uchiha-san.' Kakashi nodded at Mikoto, who seemed surprised that she was required to say anything but complied.

'A-alright. I'm Uchiha Mikoto, my hobbies are cooking and calming my husband down. He gets overenthusiastic easily. My dislikes are when nobody is given a chance to improve. My goals are to see both of my sons happy in life.' Mikoto finished cheerfully. Rurouni could almost hear birds chirping in the background as the woman spoke, she was _way_ too nice to be that kid's mother.

'Sakura.' Kakashi said simply and the pink haired girl stood up. 'My likes, _eh, _the person I like is..um, *giggle*, my goals are to *squeal*... My dislike is still Naruto, but he's gotten much better!' Naruto looked a lot happier than he should have at the last comment. Poor kid was whipped.

Rurouni pleased herself through Sakura's father's speech by filling in the missing words from Sakura's introduction. _Sasuke, Rape then marry Sasuke_. A voice broke through her thoughts suddenly, and Naruto was giving a speech about ramen and becoming the Hokage. The names he mentioned in his little oratory were Iruka, Ero-Sannin and Rurouni. Right, because Rurouni was so proud to be associated with someone known as a pervy sage.

'Rurouni, your turn.' Kakashi glanced up from his book and looked at her. Clearly the reason was more than just Gai to come here. Looks like the Gondaime was getting a little impatient with the spies she sent to keep an eye on Rurouni, and was just going to try to get information the straight forward way.

'No prob, I guess. My name's Rurouni, and like my name, I love to wander from place to place. I only settled down into the village within the past few weeks. I love the outdoors, and hate being kept inside. My dislike is being caged in. My hobbies are... um, I suppose wandering will just have to do for that one to. Another like of mine is my new pet Naru-chan here!' Rurouni teased and ruffled the blonde's hair, who protested loudly at the name yet again. He wasn't as upset this time though, he seemed to have realised his protest was futile.

'And that's that. We can all go home now. Gai should shut up, and if he come's bothering you tell him I'm on a mission somewhere very far away.' Kakashi's eye closed in a grin, and everyone on the bridge more or less just stared at him.

'I'm out of here.' Sasuke said quickly and tried to walk away. His mother grabbed him by the collar and forced him to stay put.

'Not yet, Sasuke. I just want to ask your little friends something.' Mikoto smiled sweetly, and her son relented as he crossed his arms impatiently.

'I was wondering if you would be available to come to dinner tomorrow, at the Uchiha compound. It's been years since either of my sons have invited friends over so I thought I'd do so myself!' Mikoto smiled, lighting up the bridge with her sweetness. Rurouni was almost scared now, she realised this woman would be able to get anyone to do anything.

'We would be honoured to go Uchiha-san.' Sakura's father bowed formally, but had a light smile on his face. 'No need for formalities, just call me Mikoto. What about you Naruto, Rurouni?' Mikoto asked, not noticing or not caring about how her son's face fell or how Sakura's face lit up. Rurouni vaguely wondered if she'd be seeing little pink-haired Sasukes running around in a few years.

'I'd never pass up on a free meal, dattebayo!' Naruto cheered, bringing more life to the group in one sentence. 'Sure, Like I said I'm still not used to this village so meeting new people's always good.' Rurouni nodded.

'What about you sensei?' Mikoto turned to the empty space where Kakashi had once been. He had been smart enough to leave before he could be cajoled into anything unnecessary. 'No matter. This is going to be so much fun! Everyone can arrive at around six o'clock. We'll see you then!' Mikoto smiled, waved, and left with Sasuke.

'Now I know why Sasuke-teme can get people to do stuff with barely needing to talk...' Naruto shivered as Rurouni nodded in agreement.

'That reminds me... Naru-chan?' Rurouni turned to Naruto innocently, who grinned widely, not suspecting anything.

'Hm?' he responded curiously.

'WHY THE HELL DID YOU LET ME THINK THAT KID'S NAME WAS SASUKE-TEME?' Rurouni yelled and ran at Naruto who tried and failed to scramble out of the way. Tomorrow is another day, huh?

* * *

Seregunda: Okay people, I am fully aware I never gave Sakura's dad a name. That is simply because I am not going to put him in the story ever again after the dinner. He is there because I only know Sakura has parents, but we never see them. I will continue to call him Haruno-san, so please deal with it for this, and the next, chapter. I don't think you'll have to ever again.


	5. The Natural Habitat of the Teme

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

It was the next day. Rurouni and Naruto were standing outside the main branch's area of the Uchiha compound after ringing their crazily loud bell. It was five past six. So far, everything should be going fine, right? Wrong.

'Why the hell do I have to wear this junk? My old clothes were just fine.' Naruto grumbled, pulling at the edge of his navy jacket uncomfortably. Rurouni personally felt offended. She could have picked out clothes a lot more formal than the short jinchuriki was currently wearing, so he shouldn't be complaining. She herself was also incredibly unhappy with the clothing arrangements, but Naruto didn't hear her complaining now did he?

Naruto was decked out in, as previously mentioned, an unbuttoned navy jacket with a white collared shirt underneath, complete with a pair of black jeans. His hair had been attacked with a comb by Rurouni, it wasn't flattened because she loved the spikes, but it was a little less wild than before. All in all, Rurouni had been very considerate towards his comfort when picking out the clothes. She herself had been completely at a loss at what to wear. She had been so used to wearing combats and tank tops she had nearly forgotten what most girls wear.

In the end, she simply wore the combats again for the hell of it. But Rurouni had the intelligence to use a transformation jutsu to cover it up, and to the naked eye she appeared to be wearing a pale yellow v-neck blouse and a mid-thigh denim skirt. Again, Rurouni felt as if she could have done better, but ignored that feeling. She always preffered to be underdressed going somehwere rather than overdressed anyway.

'About time you two showed up. Everyone else arrived at six. Like they were supposed to.' Sasuke grunted after shoving open the door, blushing lightly. Rurouni couldn't blame him really. Mikoto had forced him into a midnight blue kimono. She'd be humiliated too, nobody wore a kimono on a daily basis anymore. Rurouni might be lazy with fashion, but at least she wasn't a doting mother. Sasuke _did_ look adorable but... the scowl kind of ruined the effect.

Rurouni, for the sake of the kid's excessive prode, decided to swallow her laughter for a change. Naruto, however, held no such subtleties.

'BWAHAHAHA!!! I thought _I_was bad! Thanks Rurouni, at least you didn't dress me like Sasuke!' Naruto cackled loudly, turning the slight dusting of pink on Sasuke's cheeks to apple-red.

'Shut up and get inside!' Sasuke snarled, grabbed Naruto by his white collar, and tossed the boy into the compound effortlessly. Rurouni, her whole silence plan not going so well, strolled through the wide double-doors, chuckling softly. The amusement gave way to curiosity upon her entrance into the compound.

It was no wonder the doorbell was so loud, the garden was so big it would take a full-blown gong to hear across that distance if it wasn't a ninja's residence. Roch gardens, training dummies, ponds filled with koi and lillypads, and a winding cobbled path which led to the house were the immediate features that grabbed Rurouni's attention.

Then she began to notice smaller details. Scorch marks from the family's trademark _katon no jutsu_could be seen on the training dummies and the tips of the grass surrounding them. Used shuriken and kunai littered the shaded areas, as if in a half-assed attempt to hide them from the all-seeing eye of Mikoto. And finally, the little etches on the statue of Madara Uchiha marking the height of both Itachi and Sasuke as they grew. Itachi's growth, apparently, stopped when he was about sixteen.

'No wonder you're such a teme, teme. Your house is bigger than our whole apartment block, without the garden!' Naruto exclaimed, eyes wide, as he began ambling down the path, intent on studying what Rurouni would call '_The Natural Habitat of the Teme_'.

'Dobe.' Sasuke muttered and stomped after the rapidly-disappearing bundle of non-orange energy. It surprised Sasuke how much he had to stop looking out for neon orange and focus on blue. It felt unnatural, the dobe had only ever worn the orange.

Seeing the frown cross the youngest Uchiha's face, Rurouni quit taking in her surroundings and laughed skittishly.

'What's the matter with you? Have you been spending too much time with that baka or something?' he growled as he stepped up the three wooden steps to get to his front porch.

'Nah, don't mind me.' Rurouni pointedly ignored the younger kid's mood. 'No need to be so grouchy, gaki. I think you look _adorable_in your kimono! I can seen why Mikoto-san forced you to wear it, cockatiel-head!' Rurouni laughed loudly and ruffled Sasuke's hair fondly. She should really make a point to embarass this kid more often, the shade of red he was turning rivalled the colour of a steamed lobster!

'Cockatiel head?' Sasuke mumbled as he pushed the sliding door open. 'Yup, your hairstyle is the exact same as a friends' old cockatiel. Except... your hair's black.' Rurouni frowned, trying to imagine herself dying Sasuke's spikes yellow, if she could get the colour to work against the black it would really look like a cockatiel. But black is too dark a colour to die yellow, so she'd leave that one be for now.

'Hehehe, cockatiel-head. I'm gonna use that one, dattebayo!' Naruto chortled, pulling off his shoes and leaving them at the door impatiently.

'If you're both done, lets just go eat.' Sasuke, now recovered, now moved quickly through the house. If Rurouni or Naruto slowed their pace even a little during this time, there was no telling where they might have wound up. That's how big the main Uchiha manor was.

'There you are! Thank you so much for going to get them, dear. Now we can begin!' Mikoto announced, ever cheerful, the moment Rurouni had been dragged into the room. Sasuke hadn't been lying earlier. Everyone had arrived already. Sakura, her dad, some guy Rurouni's age wearing a grin like Naruto's, a girl the same age again who looked like Kiba, some cranky looking old guy, and a younger cranky looking guy with longer hair.

Behind the doors had basically been a large traditional japanese-style room, containing one extra long table and a few paintings of Sakura trees hanging around. A well-kept bonsai was used as a centrepiece for the table.

'I apologise for our lateness, Naruto was being difficult.' Rurouni bowed mischievously, sending a glance at the indignant Naruto who was also in mid-bow. He clearly did not enjoy having other people told of his... problems. Sasuke, who was standing next to Naruto with his arms crossed, just seemed amazed Rurouni knew how to be civilised.

'No problem at all, Rurouni. I know that there's a lot of people at this table that you don't know, but when you mentioned how new you were to the village it gave me the idea to invite my older son's old team too! Now, time for introductions!' Mikoto grinned and nodded at the table, whose inhabitants shifted uneasily. Mikoto hadn't asked, but ordered. In a nice way. Something very few people could get away with, and actually have people listen to them. But, Rurouni thought in amusement as girl-who-looked-like-Kiba opened her mouth, Mikoto is one of those few people.

'We met already, kinda. The name's Inuzuka Hana. You gave me quite the bruising before, but my bro says you like animals so I'll forgive ya! Just don't hit me again!' she laughed exubrantly, showing her overly-pointed canines. Rurouni decided she liked this girl already, she seemed like the rough-and-tumble type.

'Bruising?' Naruto whispered, causing Rurouni to grimace and wave him off as if it were nothing and ignored the curious stares that came from everyone except Hana, the grinning guy, and the younger-cranky guy.

Next up: grinning guy. 'Yo! The name's Uchiha Shisui, I'm Mikoto's nephew. And I'm with Hana, please don't hit me ever again, I was knocked out for two weeks.' he laughed good-naturedly.

Rurouni could feel the tension in the air growing, and it took all she had to ignore Naruto's accusing stare. If even he was beginning to see a recurring pattern here, Rurouni was doomed.

'I am Uchiha Fugaku.' the cranky-older-guy said, as if this explained everything. After a quip from Mikoto, Rurouni learned that this was her husband. Dear kami, no wonder Sasuke turned out the way he did.

'Uchiha Itachi. I believe we have met more than once.' cranky-younger-guy said. He was about as expressive as the old dude, he almost reminded Rurouni of...

'Hey, you're mongoose-dude!' Rurouni's eyes widened in surprise, recognising the voice, hair, and skin colour. 'What the hell happened your eyes? They're black now!' she continued.

'It's called _mangekyou_. And this is my natural eye colour, the _mangekyou sharingan _is what incurs the change in colour to red.' Itachi sighed in annoyance, rubbing between his eyes with his right hand. Rurouni suppressed the urge to tell the older brother that this habit of his is probably what caused those lines on his face.

'Good, now that we all know eachother, everyone sit down! Naruto, you sit here next to Sakura.' Mikoto nodded to the blonde jinchuriki, who looked as if he picked Sasuke's mum as his new best friend, and turned to Rurouni. 'Rurouni, why don't you sit down the other end next to Itachi and Shisui? Since it looks like you know them pretty well.' Mikoto asked/ordered and Rurouni could feel her shoulders slump as she shuffled over to sit between the two Uchihas.

'Hi again!' Shisui greeted her as she sat down. Rurouni smiled back in greeting. This guy had achieved the impossible, he was an outgoing and happy Uchiha. He deserved her respect. He was kind of cute too, so that helped.

Thankfully as dinner started, Rurouni found she had to speak to mongoose-dude very little. In fact, with Shisui next to her and Hana directly across from her she had only spoken to him when she had needed the salt he had placed on his other side. Where scary-guest number two was seated. Fugaku. He was quieter than both of his sons put together, which Rurouni was quite happy about.

This joy, however, only lasted for as long as Mikoto would permit it.

'So Rurouni, how long have you been in the village?' said woman asked slyly, her voice caught the attention of most people sitting at the table who each began to listen.

'A month, roughly.' Rurouni answered brightly, pretending to be unaware of the sudden attention.

'And when during this time did you meet Itachi and his team? They are very busy you know.' Mikoto questioned, genuinely curious this time. She had thought her son hated girls, and Rurouni seemed so sweet. The exact type of girl Mikoto had thought Itachi had no time for.

'Believe it or not, when I was passing by Konoha. I don't really know why they were there, doing ninja stuff or something.' Rurouni smiled amiably, determinedly not lying. She didn't care if everyone got the wrong idea, as long as she hadn't verbally evoked these thoughts it was all cool.

'That makes sense.' Mikoto nodded understandingly, missing the funny looks Shisui and Hana were throwing Rurouni and the what-the-hell stare coming from Itachi.

'She's leaving a whole bunch of stuff out. What're you making yourself sound boring for?' Shisui jumped in, beaming. He clearly thought Rurouni was being modest and he was performing some kind of good deed.

'Really? Could _you _please tell me what happened, Shisui-kun?' Mikoto simpered at the poor guy, who nodded happily. He ignored the look of devastation on Rurouni's face, mistaking it for embarassment, and the simultaneous mind-your-own-business looks both Hana and Itachi began giving him.

'No prob. See, Rurouni rocks at taijutsu cos she's always outside, right? So us three are heading out to the Tea country, minding our own business, when we come across a bunch of seriously mangled slave caravans! The carts looked like they had been torn to shreds, it was awesome! Well, the slave traders had been, like, ex-jounin from some other country or something and all strong. You have no idea how confused we were when we saw they'd been trashed so bad the slaves had gotten out and shackled em!' Shisui laughed, and each of the listeners tried to get a grasp of what he had said so far. His speech patterns were erratic and difficult to follow.

'Well, anyway. We got the low-down from one of those slaves, kinda. Well, she told us someone came and slaughtered the slave traders. She kinda left out the part that the person who killed them did it to save their lives until that person had been captured a couple of weeks. So, we went to find this murderer anyway. It wasn't just the three of us either, Hyuuga Hiashi and Yamanaka Inoichi were with us, just like Hana's bunch of dogs. A couple of minutes into the search we find a girl.' Shisui paused for dramatic effect, but accidentally stopped for a little too long and forgot his place.

'Baka.' Itachi muttered, earning him a light-hearted glare from the easygoing shinobi.

'Oh, I remember now. We had tracked the trail to her, so we knew she'd been at the caravan. But cos of the way she looks we didn't think she was a kunoichi and Inoichi asked if she was a slave. She got mad and punched him through a tree, and he didn't get up. That kinda made Hiashi mad too, who tried to use the gentle fist on her. She grabbed his hands and crushed them. Then she kicked him, hard. I think she did some more stuff, but it was too fast and I couldn't see it. The same kind of thing happened with me, except she just moved so fast I didn't get the chance to react and got knocked out. Hana's dogs wouldn't go near her, so Hana had to fight solo and got trashed. Then Itachi and her fought for ages before Itachi used the Tsukyomi and surprised her cos she didn't know about it. The end!' Shisui finished proudly, earning himself more than one blank stare.

'Shisui, honey, you kind of left out the part where you meet Rurouni. You know, the part we asked you about?' Mikoto said gently, as if not to confuse the boy any further.

'I'm no idiot!' Shisui protested loudly. 'And I did tell you about Rurouni. She's the girl who trashed us all!' Shisui proclaimed, sitting up straighter as the whole room went silent and every pair of eyes turned to the empty space where Rurouni had been sitting. Her plate still had a few leftovers in it, but she had left during the story to go to the bathroom right after Shisui got to the part about the caravans. Unfortunately, she chose now to re-enter.

'Why the hell didn't you tell me you were a kunoichi?!' Naruto whined, being the first in the room to speak. He followed Rurouni to her seat, leaving his own, and stood directly behind her as she sat down.

'I'm not a kunoichi Naru-chan.' Rurouni sighed truthfully, pulling the boy into her lap thoughtfully. It's a good thing Naruto is still so short, Rurouni mused as she placed her chin on top of his head.

'Like hell you're not!' Hana interjected. 'You don't take down an ANBU squad and call yourself a citizen!' she let out a bark of laughter.

'I'm not a citizen either, I'm a wanderer. I learned everything I know as I went along. People I travelled with were sometimes shinobi who showed me a few tricks, which I made my own. I was never officially trained as a ninja. That's why that bingo book has next to no information on me.' Rurouni explained to an extremely quiet room.

Naruto squirmed in her arms to look up at her face. 'I promise I won't be annoyed on one condition.' Naruto squinted his eyes seriously.

'And what would that be?' Rurouni asked carefully. Sometimes even she couldn't be completely sure of what the kid would do next.

'You teach me some of those tricks! If you're strong enough to take down a bunch of strong rogue ninja and thenan ANBU squad you've gotta teach me!' Naruto begged, puppy eyes being used on full blast.

'Of course, how could I not?' Rurouni laughed and hugged the jinchuriki in to her body tighter, who blushed and tried to squirm away to no avail. Apparently he was a little more shy in public situations than Rurouni had originally thought. She could work with this later.

After she let Naruto escape, Rurouni felt a slight nudge from her neglected side after everyone's attention had been diverted to Sakura who was trying to hit on Sasuke who's kimono was apparently 'SOOOO HOOOTTT', or something to that effect.

Unsurprisingly, it was Itachi who had poked her.

'You're not going to tell them anything else?' he murmured in a low tone only Rurouni could hear.

'You know more than you let on, mongoose-dude. And no, not yet. Stop giving me that look, it's bad enough when Naruto does it. It's not like I haven't told anyone, Shizune and the Hokage both know, so you can relax.' Rurouni could almost visibly see the tenseness disappear from his shoulders.

'That boy's going to be even more annoyed if you don't tell him your true identity soon.' Itachi probed a bit more insistently.

'Tch, you sound like some kind of cheesy police movie. True Identity, hah! And Naruto will get over it, there's plenty of things he's not telling me either, I can tell. I'll tell him eventually, mongoose-dude.' Rurouni watched as a vein throbbed in Itachi's forehead. Fun.

'It's _mangekyou_.'

'Whatever, mongoose-dude.'


	6. Watch out for Mikoto!

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

Missions were something Rurouni had previously found interesting. Being regaled with tales of heroism while travelling with a squad of ninja you knew nothing about, of course her view of missions would be a little... mislead.

Backing up a little, Rurouni had been given a couple of different missions. The lowest being B rank, the highest A. She knew she was more than capable of carrying out S rank missions, as did the Hokage, but apparently she still wasn't trustworthy enough. Thus far, Rurouni had patrolled the border of a war torn country, hunted down a missing nin, and killed some guy who ran an organisation that was releasing a drug called opium into a busy village on the border of the Fire Country. On the way home she even caught a couple of bounties for extra cash.

Each of these missions had bored her to tears. The war torn country had been exhausted of all weapons so the fighting had stopped, the missing nin came to her himself and started hitting on her, and the drug guy was so overconfident he only hired a bunch of chuunin level fighters as bodyguards.

Rurouni knew she could be doing a lot worse and could be getting D rank missions, but if she was going to be given the chance to actually stretch her muscles properly she'd rather not be going up against a bunch of idiots who couldn't tell a shuriken from a kunai.

The boredom that she had endured on these missions, however, finally seemed to have paid off.

Rurouni was now standing in front of Tsunade, with a wanted poster of a man named Hoshigaki Kisame being shoved under her nose.

'This man is a member of an organisation called the Akatsuki. He is one of the Legendary Swordsmen of the Mist, a group, If I believe the rumours of the underground, you are quite familiar with?' Tsunade held a steady look, no sake in sight, and was giving Rurouni the most sober glare she had ever seen from the Hokage.

'Which group? The Swordsmen or the Akatsuki?' Rurouni smirked as Tsunade's eyebrows practically shot above her hairline.

'I was talking about the Swordsmen, but you caught my attention with the Akatsuki. Talk. If you provide enough valuable information on this group, not only can I guarauntee you a place in the ANBU, but you can have your own input into any extra missions.' Tsunade gushed eagerly, taking out a pen and piece of paper.

'A friend of mine is a member. I mentioned him before, when we first met, he was the guy who kept me updated about my bounty. Dei-chan. His partner's Sasori of the Red Sand...' Rurouni trailed off as Tsunade was scribbling everything off, word for word.

'Uhuh, Dei-chan and Sasori.. This is perfect! Until now we only knew of Orochimaru who isn't even a member anymore, Kisame and a man named Kyouhei, his partner. This is really valuable information! You're in the ANBU!' Tsunade cheered, so busy rifling through the papers she didn't notice the frown cross Rurouni's face.

'Don't you wanna know who the other members are?' Rurouni asked carefully, freezing as soon as Tsunade's head snapped up to meet her gaze.

'How many of the members do you know, Rurouni-chan?' Tsunade asked in a deadly whisper, trembling from excitement.

'All of them. Except Leader, I've never even met him.' Rurouni admitted truthfully, flinching when Tsunade snapped her pen in half.

'Start naming. NOW!' Tsunade shrieked, causing Rurouni to start rattling off all the names she knew in the Akatsuki, or involved in the outer workings of the group.

* * *

Rurouni fingered the weird looking mask she had been supplied with warily. It was ugly. White, and covered in red stripes that were, apparently, supposed to look like a wildcat. They had tried to make it match her nickname. It just looked like a bunch of squiggles to her, no matter what way she looked at it.

Naruto had jumped for joy when he had been told she was in the ANBU. And had insisted on eating at Ichiraku's for dinner. For some strange reason, even though Rurouni was supposed to be the one celebrating, she got stuck paying for it. Naruto was broke. Again.

Rurouni took out a paintbrush despondantly. As bad as she may be at art, even she couldn't make this mask look any weirder.

In the end, Rurouni only ended up painting the mask all white. It didn't look half as bad as it used to, even if she did have the urge to yell 'Here's JOHNNY!' whenever she saw it out of the corner of her eye. It just looked like something a guy from a horror movie would wear.

Rurouni had been convinced that an ANBU mask would never be something she would wear, even when she did move into the village. She had thought that, with herself withholding so much information about her life, she would never make it past jounin. Rurouni was surprised enough when she had made it _to_jounin, let alone now! Hell, she never even had proper training as a shinobi! But, Rurouni mused, the kind of training _she_had gone through was very different to that of any ninja. Not that it mattered now, Konoha and whatever idiots wrote the bingo book only had her progress since she became 'Rurouni'. After wandering. And settling. And repeating that process so many times she could barely remember half of the places she has 'lived' up until now.

The memories that Rurouni remembers the least, are the ones the rest of the world take the most interest in. The memories that are lodged in her mind for the rest of her life, are something the rest of the world will never find out about. Especially not now that she has found a place she really does want to call home.

Rurouni pulled the plain mask over her face. It was time to prove to the Hokage how useful she could really be.

* * *

'Rurouni-chan, congratulations! Itachi has told me all about your new job in the ANBU! You must be so happy.' Mikoto beamed at Rurouni, who had been in the middle of putting a lettuce into her grocery basket.

'GAH!!! Mikoto?! You gave me a heart attack, I knew Itachi's stealth wasn't natural!' Rurouni fumbled with the vegetable and pointed an accusing finger at the black-haired woman who smiled sweetly.

'An ANBU member should be on guard at all times, Rurouni-chan.' Mikoto's smile suddenly looked more like a leer to the blue haired girl. 'That's what Itachi says anyway!' Mikoto chirped, suddenly the cheerful housewife again. Note to self, Rurouni mused, watch out for Mikoto.

'Thanks for the congratulations. I couldn't believe how many missions they were holding out on me just because I wasn't in ANBU! If I'd known, I would've tried for it sooner!' Rurouni joked, tossing a bunch of tomatoes into the basket for good measure.

'Oh, you like tomatoes? They're Itachi's favourite food too.' Mikoto hinted, taking a couple and placing them into her own basket. A lot more gently than Rurouni had too. Who, by now, was wondering when tomatoes had become her favourite food, or if she had even said anything about liking them.

'They're okay I guess.' Rurouni replied amicably, dumping some loaves of bread in her basket, and completely ignoring the disdainful looks she was getting for the mistreatment of the food.

'Itachi told me once that white bread has some laxatives in it. Did you know?' Mikoto chatted, pointedly picking out only seeded brown bread. Rurouni figured Mikoto must have memorised every word that came out of Itachi's mouth since birth. He rarely spoke, and all Rurouni had been hearing from Mikoto's mouth has been 'Itachi said,'. That or mongoose-dude was actually a chatterbox in disguise and waited until he got home to let his true self out. Both options seemed highly unlikely in Rurouni's mind, so she supposed it was somewhere in the middle.

'That's nice.' Rurouni humoured her, not noticing Mikoto's mood wavering, as a dark look crossed the older woman's features when they both queued to pay for the groceries.

Rurouni had just forked over some notes, and was about to leave when a hand shot out and grabbed her wrist in a death-like grip. 'Mikoto! What the hell's wrong with you today? You're acting all weird.' Rurouni noted aloud, taking note of the conflicted look on the woman's face.

'It's about Itachi...' Mikoto began.

'I gathered as much.' Rurouni commented dryly, withering under the wicked glare sent her way and she quieted up immediately.

Mikoto drew in a deep breath, and Rurouni braced herself, preparing for the worst case scenario possible. Like, he was killed, taken hostage, or a female mongoose got confused and dragged him back to her den. Personally, Rurouni hoped it was the last option, at least she'd be able to bug him about it later.

'IthinkItachimightbegay!' Mikoto sobbed, all in one breath. Rurouni tilted her head sideways.

'Um... Sorry, didn't catch that.' she apologised as Mikoto latched onto her arm, bawling loudly.

'I _said_, I think Itachi is... gay! Do you know what this _means_?!' the distraught mother hiccupped loudly, drawing more than a couple of stares towards the odd pair.

'Um... You'll have to lock Sasuke's door from now on?' Rurouni joked, not really understanding why Mikoto was freaking out so much.

'I said _gay_, not incestuous!' Mikoto snarled, tightening her lethal grip on Rurouni's arm causing the cerulean haired girl to wince visibly. 'And it means, I won't be getting any grandchildren!' the woman bawled.

'Oh.' was the only response Rurouni could come up with, and not sound like a total idiot. 'You can't be sure of this though, unless he told you. Did he?' Rurouni asked, knowing the answer already.

'No, but he doesn't have to! He's been on the same team as so many pretty girls, he's nineteen, and he's never brought a girl home!' Mikoto let go of Rurouni's arm, which had gone numb at this stage.

'Late bloomer?' Rurouni tried, just making some attempt to escape the hysterical Uchiha. Rurouni still didn't understand the part where any of this became her business. Mikoto was now sitting on the floor of the grocery store, with her back to Rurouni sniffling loudly.

Rurouni sighed, knowing how much she would regret this. 'What can I do to help?' she asked gently. A sinister grin crept across Mikoto's face, but was wiped off as she turned to face the new ANBU member.

'Don't worry, it won't be that bad!' she chirped, a bright smile making it's way across her face. 'As a matter of fact, there's an ANBU test issued once every year and a half to see how well information can be withheld. All you have to do, is your job! Just make sure you try extra hard for me!' Mikoto clutched both of the cerulean haired girl's hands before zipping out of the shop, feet barely touching the ground.

'Hm, well if it's a part of my job anyway I don't see the problem.' Rurouni sighed and brushed herself off from the, unusual, encounter.

'Why would the head of the clan's wife need to go grocery shopping anyway? Surely they make other people do that while they do more important... clan-like... things.' Rurouni mused silently, as she wandered down the road towards herself and Naruto's house. She could hear one of Naruto's jutsus go terribly wrong, and she was still fifty yards away.

* * *

Seregunda: For a story that I practically just started it feels too... Itachi-ish. And I like love triangles so... Any suggestions would be appreciated!XD R&R plz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	7. Dude, where's my sofa!

Seregunda: Alright, in response to Dragonzflyte's question... Nope. Rurouni is pretty much very straightforward in a sense. She isn't worried about Deidara because she thinks the Akatsuki is too strong for Konoha to handle anyway, so what's the harm? It'll be explained in greater detail later in the story, but I hope this helped for now! XD

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

* * *

Rurouni sat up in her bed, yawning profusely. The few days had passed and today was the day all the kunoichi and shinobi were basically pitted against eachother, at least, that's what Tsunade told Rurouni when she rocketed into her office in the middle of some meeting, begging to know about this 'mission' that could possibly prove Mikoto's statement.

Tsunade had only smirked, saying that Mikoto had filled her in on everything, and all she had to do was her _job_. And take the mission as it comes and she'd be told on Friday. Which was today. Then she was tossed out of Tsunade's office along with the ambassador from Kirigakure. According to him, she had interrupted something that could interrupt the balance of their whole government. Rurouni simply told him where to find some measuring scales and left him hyperventilating on the floor.

Ambassadors always were a touchy lot, Rurouni mused as she swung her legs over the edge of her bed and walked into the living room area, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

And, for some reason unknown to Rurouni, she did a front flip. Odd, Rurouni yawned, opening her eyes, and only barely managed to hold in a stream of curses as Naruto opened his eyes blearily.

'Mornin, nee-chan. What's for breakfast?' he yawned and sat up in his bed, looking around the living room as if it would pop out of a bookshelf for him.

'It depends on your answer to my question, Naru-chan.' Rurouni stood up slowly, her blue hair curtaining her face.

'Okay, what's the question?' Naruto beamed, sitting up on his knees on the bed.

'_Where the hell is my sofa gone_?!' Rurouni bellowed, causing Naruto to panic and cover his ears with a nervous chuckle. This was serious, to Rurouni anyway. For some weird reason, Naruto's bed was sitting in her living room taking up all the space she had!

'Um... It's in my apartment... Because, my bed wouldn't fit in here with it. And my back was getting sore from sleeping on the couch all the time nee-chan! I promise you can use my bed as a sofa if you really need one! Since you're never really sitting around at home anyway I though it'd make no difference!' Naruto whined in his defence.

Rurouni took in a deep breath. And then another. She couldn't really blame Naruto for it, she was surprised he lasted on that springless couch as long as he did. It was bad enough to sit on, let alone sleep on.

'Alright, but next time you decide to... remodel my house, please ask me first. I probably would have said yes anyway.' Rurouni sighed in defeat as Naruto's face lit up and he followed her into the cooking area, begging her for beef ramen. There was no way Rurouni was going to kick him out of her apartment, he was her younger brother by now. Screw blood.

* * *

'And that's it.' Tsunade finished, watcing as Rurouni's face paled and the other kunoichi in the room looked on with grudging acceptance.

'We have to do _what_?!' Rurouni groaned, sinking to her knees in desperation. Today was seriously not going so well. First her magic disappearing sofa, and now... _THIS_!

In a quick elaboration, Rurouni was not happy. At all. Or, in any sense of the word. Herself, and about six other kunoichi over the age of sixteen stood in the room. Apparently the shinobi had been in earlier and had been told to each guard a different password with their life. They didn't know anything other than that. The kunoichi, however, had just been told they have to get the password out of the boys without them realising it until afterwards.

Yup, Rurouni thought bitterly to herself as Tsunade handed out a shinobi's name to each kunoichi. Seduction 101. Or, in the simplistic language of Rurouni: _hell._

Each ninja only had to go through this test once in their lives, and is held once every three years in Konoha. And it isn't exactly broadcast on the street either, kept very hush-hush. Other villages might do it more often, or even have the same person do it more than once, but this is the only kind of test that villages kept secret from eachother.

Probably has something to do with the amount of freakishly strong perverts there are in Konoha, Rurouni thought with a sly grin as a scroll was dumped unceremoniously in her lap. Kakashi, Ebizou and Jiraiya were perfect examples of this. If other villages found out about their eveident... ahem, weaknesses, the village would be in trouble. Or overrun by enemy kunoichi wearing bikinis as a 'distraction'. One or the other.

'Hey, who've you got?' Hana trotted over with one of the Haimaru brothers on her heels. Out of every kunoichi in the room, she seemed to be the least bothered by this. As if it were normal. Rurouni could almost feel herself scowl. Hana was eighteen and a kunoichi, so she had already had some experience in this field before taking the test. She seemed pretty confident. Rurouni continued her moping, not telling the Inuzuka that she hadn't even bothered to open the scroll yet.

Ignoring Rurouni's obvious mood, Hana pressed on. 'I got Genma, he should be pretty easy. And I got _Iruka_, I still can't believe he managed to avoid the test for this long! I dunno how I'm gonna snag him though.' Hana chatted companionably, while Rurouni's ears almost visibly pricked up at the news.

'You got _two_?! We have to do this _twice?_ Isn't once enough for the old hag?!' Rurouni cursed loudly, not noticing that she had begun speaking like Naruto.

'We all do. You were busy drowning in misery at the time, but we were told.' Hana's eyes held her mischievous laughter as Rurouni practically melted into the floor.

While the cerulean haired girl was distracted, Hana snatched the scroll from Rurouni's lap. She scanned the page once before she burst into a fit of laughter. 'Oh boy, you're in for it alright!' she barked and tossed the scroll to Rurouni, who just let it clatter to the floor and roll around for a minute. Maybe if she glared at it long enough it would burn into the ground.

Sadly, her glaring seemed to have the opposite effect. The scroll flopped open by her side just long enough for Rurouni to see the names engraved inside. Kamizuki Izumo and Uchiha Itachi. Now she understood what Mikoto wanted her to do. Basically, flirt with Itachi shamelessly until she got a reaction!

'Who the hell is Izumo?' Rurouni voiced, as Hana stuck her head into the scroll again.

'He's the guy that guards the village gate with Kotetsu.' Hana explained, and Rurouni nodded. She'd seen him with the bandage guy alright. He had brown bangs completely covering his right eye, which was also brown. He was a chuunin, and the more responsible of the two guards. She often saw him eating syrup, for all the sense that made. A shinobi with a sweet tooth was hardly the most terrifying thing in the world. But he seemed reserved, which was a problem.

And Itachi was hardly a chatterbox either. Just great, Rurouni got two tight-lips. And she had a day each to get both of them. Including today, and it was... noon now. Great. Absolutely fantastic.

'Better get started, I don't even know this Izumo guy properly but... he couldn't be worse than Itachi.' Rurouni sighed, settling for the brunette first.

'I think I'll start with Genma, if I can finish him early I'll start on Iruka.' Hana grinned and whistled for her ninken to follow as she left through the door. Rurouni sat on the floor glumly for a few minutes before sighing and standing up.

'Might as well get this over with...' she grumbled and left the building, looking for the chuunin thoroughly. She never really noticed just how many brunettes there were in the village before. Finding Izumo would be hell, at least if someone was looking for her they'd find her easily enough. That was kind of scary actually. Rurouni played around with the thought of her dying her hair brown for the sake of camouflage. But gave up about two minutes later, knowing that not only would she not get rid of her natural hair colour, but she wouldn't be bothered to in the first place.

* * *

Rurouni was seriously annoyed. She was beginning to contemplate that Izumo might have left the village by now. Night had fallen and everything. He hadn't been at his station by the gate, he hadn't been at that slightly creepy syrup stand in the town square. And that was about all she knew about him, so she didn't have anything else to go on. But, Rurouni thought suddenly, I do know a bit about that Kotetsu guy. He guarded my cell for a bit and mentioned a couple of his favourite places because he was bored and decided to talk to the prisoner who he didn't think spoke anyway.

Izumo and Kotetsu were practically inseperable, so if Kotetsu decided to go somewhere that Izumo wouldn't be that into, wouldn't Izumo just be dragged there anyway? Rurouni bolted towards the bar she had heard Kotetsu mention more than once.

She hated every minute of it. Even though the smoker's area was outdoors, the smoke still managed to worm it's way inside and get in Rurouni's lungs. It was pretty crowded too, and more than one elbow had jostled her ribs. Bruises she _wasn't_ in the mood to handle.

Rurouni finally found him. Izumo was sitting next to , surprise surprise, Kotetsu on a bar stool. Who was being entertained by a kunoichi Rurouni swore she recognised from Tsunade's office this morning. A wink and a nod from said kunoichi finalised Rurouni's thoughts. Rurouni racked her brain for the name. Ame. A short kunoichi with a friendly demeanor and black hair, specialises in medical jutsu. Rurouni stopped the flow of information as soon as it started. Just the name will do.

'Hi Rurouni, nice to see you again. You alone?' Ame turned to face Rurouni and called her over. Thank kami she was actually helping her. 'Hi Ame. Yup, think I got stood up.' she lied quickly with an easy smile and leant against the counter next to the helpful girl.

'That's too bad. Do you want to join us? I'm sure Izumo and Kotetsu won't mind.' Ame looked at both of them. Izumo gave a small curt nod, as Kotetsu beamed and nodded eagerly.

'You're that chick that gave Ibiki all that hassle? You look really different after a good scrub. I wouldn't think you're even a shinobi.' Kotetsu shuffled over and gave Rurouni the seat between himself and Izumo. Perfect.

'Thanks, I'm glad I don't look like the type of person that walks around town covered in dirt.' Rurouni replied sarcastically, earning herself a blush from Kotetsu and a chuckle fom Izumo and Ame.

As the four grew deeper into conversation, Rurouni realised her job had been made a great deal easier by Ame. She had managed to convince the two chuunin to get into a drinking contest, which Izumo wasn't originally planning to be a part of. A couple of insults and a great deal of batting eyelashes later, here they were with alcohol-flushed cheeks and slightly glazed eyes.

Rurouni and Ame were 'taking part' too. Meaning, they tossed their drinks into the potted plant behind them whenever the two men's attention wavered. Which was now happening more and more frequently. Rurouni didn't even have to pretend she was drunk anymore, those two were so far gone they wouldn't even notice.

Rurouni realised the cleverness behind Ame's plan now. This way, she probably wouldn't even have to flirt, let alone go any further!

Rurouni listened to the change in the jukebox's melody as it changed from bold and loud to some old bat crooning away. Probably supposed to be a lovesong, Rurouni assumed, as she decided to finally actually give Ame a hand in the operation. It wasn't fair if one person did all the work.

'I love this song! Do you guys want to dance?' Rurouni lied through her teeth. Thankfully those two shouldn't be sober enough to actually listen to the music, and at most would sway around on the spot.

'Definitely, what about you two? C'mon don't be spoilsports!' Ame grabbed Kotetsu's hand, who complied easily and allowed himself to be dragged out onto the dancefloor. Izumo, sadly, didn't look as if he was going to move any time soon.

'I can't dance by myself, something wrong?' Rurouni sat back down next to the brunette, noticing his eyes were beginning to droop and he was slouched over the table.

'Just tired, sorry. Stress n' stuff.' his voice was remarkably strong for the state he was in. Little to no slur at all.

'It's okay.' Rurouni smiled, but was cursing inwardly. Of course _she_ would get the more difficult one, she grimaced as she noticed Ame murmuring in Kotetsu's ear, who scrunched up his face as if in thought. Ame was already in the middle of her plan.

A slightly mean idea came into Rurouni's mind, as she began rubbing small circles in Izumo's back. 'Feel any better?' Rurouni purred, almost jumping with delight when he groaned and nodded lazily. She really should stop thinking like a two year old.

'Hey Izumo?' Rurouni asked as her circles began to massage his muscles gently and have more of a presence on his back.

'Ungh?' he grunted in response, indicating he heard her as he leaned back into her touch. 'What's the password?' Rurouni whispered into his ear, the breath causing a shiver to run down his spine.

'Wha? Passwo, ugh!' he moaned as her hands found a particularly knotted area in his back.

'Password. It's okay if you can't think of it right away.' Rurouni murmured soothingly. Damn it, she really shouldn't have let him have the last couple of drinks. She wanted him drunk enough to not notice what he was saying, not gone beyond speech.

'Tsunade's... can't remember... oh I think it was...' Izumo had begun to think, which could be potentially dangerous, as Rurouni waited on bated breath.

'What was that?' Rurouni crooned, almost hating herself for this.

'Ugh... water. Tsunade said... 'water'. That's a' password.' Izumo rumbled, before his eyes had drooped closed as a result of Rurouni's ministrations. The blue haired girl had begun grinning from ear to ear and slipped off her stool quietly to not disturb the drowsy brunette.

By the looks of it, Kotetsu was having more difficulty remembering the password than Izumo had. Ame was looking murderous, but brightened up slightly when Rurouni gave her a sympathetic wave and escaped through the front door to go back to the apartment for the night.

'One down, one to go.' Rurouni hummed as she opened her apartment door and, for the second time in one day, performed an unplanned front flip in her living room. Rurouni had forgotten that a bed was now taking up two thirds of the pace in her living room. And a blonde idiot who snored like a chainsaw was taking up two thirds of that at the moment. In the end, Rurouni just climbed quietly off the bed and left the jinchuriki to sleep. There really was no saying what could happen under this roof.


	8. It's okay, I'm wearing Vaseline

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

* * *

'B-but he's the teme's _brother_! And you've gotta do _that_?! BWAHAHA! What the hell did you do to piss Tsunade-baachan off so bad?!' Naruto fell off the kitchen chair, nearly dying due to excessive bouts of laughter.

'I'm never gonna talk to Mikoto again. I didn't know she had so much power.' Rurouni groaned. That woman would have her traumatised within a month. Rurouni briefly considered just leaving the village like she had with so many others. But, no other village had Naru-chan. So it was a pretty pointless thought.

'Yeah, now I know where the teme gets it from! That lady is scary, why's she think he's gay anyway? She can't prove it.' Naruto munched on the cereal after clambering back up into the chair. Rurouni wondered momentarily whether this was an appropriate conversation for the twelve year old boy. Probably not, but since when did she care about that kind of thing?

'Beats me, Naru-chan. I think maybe I did something to her in a past life and this is her way of getting revenge. I've only been in Konoha a while so I couldn't have done something directly to her recently...' Rurouni trailed off, thinking of the possibilities. Maybe Rurouni had said something to offend her at the dinner or something. Oh well, what's done is done.

Naruto continued his snickering all through breakfast, before remembering he was late for training with Jiraiya. Even as he darted out the door, he remembered to call back 'You've gotta tell me about it later!' before disappearing from sight and leaving Rurouni to rattle around in the apartment by herself until the afternoon, whereupon she decided she'd done enough stalling by now and she would have to get her plan into action if she was going to be in the Hokage's office for five in the evening later.

She had spent most of last night coming up with a plan. Rurouni had felt... inadequate the evening before when it was Ame who did most of the work. This time she was actually going to plan something out instead of winging it the whole time. For this mission anyway, winging it with Itachi was nearly a death sentence.

Rurouni picked up a wicker basket she had left lying around the apartment and ignored the odours wafting out from beneath the checkered cloth she had chosen to cover the contents with. Most of this was Mikoto's fault, so she was going to have to do as an excuse to go to the Uchiha manor. She knew what was going on so she'd get the picture.

***** ****

'What're you doing here?' obsidian eyes widened as they looked up, taking in the unexpected sight of the blue haired girl at the doorstep.

'Hi Sasu-chan. Your mum asked me to swing by during the week with some pastries and said today was good. You gonna let me in now, gatekeeper?' Rurouni teased as Sasuke flushed red in embarrassment.

'Don't call me that! I don't care if Naruto likes you calling him that way, but I don't!' he hissed as he stepped aside, allowing Rurouni to step through.

''Kay Sasu-chan. It's not my fault you always get the door.' Rurouni raised an eyebrow as the younger Uchiha began to get flustered. He was nearly as fun to annoy as Itachi. Itachi was fun because of the reactions she got from him, Sasuke was just adorable. Rurouni didn't get why all the adults treated him differently from other kids just because he acted older, and treated Naruto as if he were five. They _were_both just twelve. Well, Sasuke was just thirteen. Same difference.

'I wasn't talking about 'gatekeeper'... dobe.' Sasuke huffed, thinking Rurouni couldn't hear him.

'What was that _Sasu-chan_?' Rurouni teased pointedly, making sure the boy understood that the 'slip-up' was anything but. She was rewarded with an icy glare, and no comment whatsoever. Rurouni had never been so glad to see the Uchiha manor before.

'Are you quite finished tormenting my baby?' Mikoto smiled from the doorway, ignoring Sasuke's indignant retort of 'Why is everyone calling me stupid names?!'

'Hm, nearly. He's too cute to leave alone, I can see why Sakura and Ino are so competitive about him!' Rurouni laughed jokingly, ruffling the hair of the now-extremely-embarassed gennin. Rurouni treated him the same way she did Naruto. And no matter how much more Sasuke respected the kid since the chuunin exams, he still didn't want to be considered to have the same maturity level as the blonde idiot. Not even bothering to fight the futile battle, Sasuke bit his tongue and stomped up the stairs, leaving Rurouni and his mother in hall, holding back their giggles of amusement.

Suddenly, Mikoto was down to business. 'How did yesterday's part of the mission go?' she asked in all-seriousness. Rurouni didn't see how Izumo was any of the older woman's business, but complied anyway for the sake of sparing her own sanity.

'Completed successfully. Today is the hard one, I'll send the report to you after regrouping in the Hokage's office.' Rurouni replied. If someone asked her how she managed to keep a straight face during the conversation, Rurouni genuinely would not have been able to answer. She was talking to the mother of a guy who she was going to be forced to... extract information... out of and the mum was totally okay with it. And helping her with it.

'Alright, Itachi should be training in the main forest now, in training area 9 using shuriken and kunai. The area is known for belladonna, pretend you are harvesting poisons for the Hokage's studies.' Mikoto informed Rurouni, after emptying the basket of it's contents and returning the empty basket to it's original owner. Rurouni didn't want to know whether this was common knowledge, the woman made a habit of stalking her eldest son, or if this was specifically studied for todays' purpose. Either way, Mikoto had _way_ too much time on her hands.

'Arigato, Mikoto-san.' Rurouni bowed, over-formally. But the really scary thing happened as she straightened back up. Both Rurouni and Mikoto were wearing the same creepy smiles on their faces. Itachi was going down.

* * *

*_Thud* *Thud*_. Both weapons hit the target bang on centre, embedded deep into the bullseye on the training dummies. Again. Itachi was getting bored of these stationary targets, he felt as if they were getting difficult to miss, not that his aim was improving.

*_Thu-crack* _His kunai had gone straight through the bulls eye in the centre of the dummy's head and split it in two. Too boring. It's not as if he _wanted_enemy shinobi to invade Konoha or anything, but it would make this sleepy village a bit more exciting. It hadn't been long since the invasion during the chuunin exams, maybe the Sound would attack again? Or Suna, but he heard that Suna was currently trying to form another alliance so he doubted that was possible.

Itachi lay back against the trunk of a nearby tree and let out a long sigh. Today was not a good day so far. Shisui had told him that a lot of the shinobi who had been given passwords had been targetted already and most have lost the passwords to the enemy. And they won't say how they lost them either, but Shisui had told him, in Shisui-speak, that: 'Y'know that guard with hair like that Yamanak girl? The one with bandage-head? Yeah. Well he was whining about how much torture his headache put him through or something. Then he said he lost the password, these guys must be serious about the passwords. I hope the torture isn't too painful!' and that had been that.

Shisui made a good point on that one, for a change. Shinobi would have to learn how to endure torture, so why not have an exam on it? Itachi wondered if whatever proctor they had hired for the exam would be able to handle his Tsukyomi sharingan. He doubted it, but he could always do with a little extra training just in case. Itachi hopped up onto his feet again and continued his training, completely oblivious to what was really going on.

Rurouni didn't know when her 'search' for belladonna actually did turn into a proper search for the bloody plant, all she knew was that for some reason she was crawling under bushes and up cliffs for the wretched weed and not focusing on her actual mission at all. Collecting belladonna was more fun anyway, she mused as she wandered out into a clearing, not paying any attention to her surroundings.

'Duck!' a strangely familiar voice yelled suddenly. Rurouni turned quickly to see a kunai flying straight at her head, and fell backwards in shock. Thankfully she pulled off easing her way into the 'crab' position so it ended up looking as if she dodged it purposefully, rather than just a rare moment of clumsiness.

'What the hell are you doing? I could have killed you! A ninja should always be aware of their surroundings!' the voice hissed at the bent-over-backwards girl, who flipped back up into a standing position to find herself face-to-face with her original mission.

'Well, I never had ninja training, so there!' Rurouni retorted childishly, ignoring Itachi and scurrying around the clearing to collect her fallen belladonna. Itachi watched the scene before him with barely-visible amusement.

'And what would a non-ninja be doing with poisons like this, hm?' he taunted, picking up the last plant and holding it just out of Rurouni's reach.

'It's for Tsunade-sama!' Rurouni's eyes narrowed, daring him to keep it a second longer. A dare he, clearly, wasn't prepared to initiate as he dropped it into Rurouni's basket without argument.

'Have you heard from Shisui or Hana at all today?' odd, Itachi was starting a conversation. With Rurouni. Damn, now her plan to use the belladonna to suck up to Tsunade for her failure would have to wait. She'd have to give this whole 'seduction' thing a try. She'd probably fail miserably at it, she'd never really bothered with that type of thing before so she would have to make it a trial-and-error run. Hopefully Itachi's away with the fairies today or something.

'Yup, Hana. I was chatting to her earlier, she said she was going to talk to Iruka. Something about Kiba's performance in the Academy.' Rurouni chuckled at Hana's excuse to talk to the chuunin. It was a good one though, because it totally seemed like something Rurouni could picture Hana doing.

'No news from Shisui then...' Itachi trailed off into his own thoughts, leaving Rurouni to wonder at his behaviour. This whole mission was seriously throwing him for a loop, Rurouni realised. She remembered Mikoto saying Itachi had zero experience in this field, so the poor guy was probably expecting someone like biscuit-man to come torture the information out of him. Which is why he was pinning for his cousin. How cute, he looked to his non-socially challenged cousin for help with this kind of thing. Of course Shisui probably never realised it because, knowing Itachi, he would come up with some excuse to worm information out of him than have a heart-to-heart.

'Nope, I think I spotted him on my way here with a girl called Ame though. Is she his girlfriend?' Rurouni began her mission now, her belladonna plans forgotten. She sat by a tree trunk, an obvious indicator to the sharingan-user that she wasn't planning on leaving any time soon.

'Ye-no... I don't know.' Itachi muttered in response, sitting a few feet away from her, sharpening the kunai that almost took Rurouni's head off. A little too far away for anything Rurouni had up her sleeve to work. Damn him, escaping fangirls all these years had obviously given him personal space issues.

Rurouni kept nattering away, knowing that Itachi was getting more and more suspicious every minute, judging from the way his shoulders were now tensing. She knew it had something to do with the fact she had yet to call him mongoose yet, but that one word was taboo on this mission. Even if her target did think there was something wrong with her because she hadn't insulted him yet.

Rurouni had also disguised her antics to move closer to the Uchiha very well. She was proud of herself, in fact. Her basket holding the belladonna had 'accidentally' tipped over and of course she went to retrieve them. She now sat a foot away from him. Far enough to escape too much suspicious, close enough to cause him discomfort which she wanted, and also close enough to begin her mission properly.

Itachi had no clue what was going on, but he didn't like it. Rurouni wasn't being hostile as she usually was, but instead was chatting away happily and had yet to call him that infernal name. She was sitting too close, and Itachi could easily see every movement she made. It was rather distracting while sharpening a kunai, and almost cut his finger off when she stretched,yawning with her arms above her head. He might not enjoy her company but her... charm shone through in a different way.

Rurouni was probably the least feminine of all kunoichi, had a mouth like a sailor, and to top it off her hair was blue. _Blue_. It didn't hide the fact that he wasn't much taller than her though. Seriously, what had she been eating to grow to that height as a girl? He had heard once, that far west of the Land of Fire the people were a generally taller build. Maybe she was born over there, he mused.

'Are you okay? You seem a little distracted today.' Rurouni spoke truthfully, before she began her web of lies. Now or never.

'Hn.' Itachi grunted despondently, flinching back a little in surprise when Rurouni moved closer to him critically.

'I dunno, you've been acting kind of funny, do you feel sick?' Rurouni asked, leaning forward and taking his face in her hands, turning it left and right slowly as if inspecting him.

He'd been acting weird?! How dare she say that when she's the one who's been... what's she doing? Itachi's trail of thought broke off when Rurouni sat on his lap, her legs on either side of his thighs as she peered into his eyes, claiming she was looking for an irritant. Apparently they had been glazed over. _I wonder why_... Itachi fumed silently, stiffening abruptly, not letting any emotion flood through, as was his specialty.

Rurouni almost cursed aloud. Itachi was ignoring her now. As if she didn't exist. Like her presence wasn't even of his _concern_. Screw the mission, this was personal now. Nobody ignored the Wildcat.

'Hm... I probably should've listened to Tsunade more when it came to medical jutsu, tell me if you start to feel uncomfortable.' Rurouni purred, and allowed herself the briefest moment of triumph when a flash of curiosity flickered behind his onyx orbs before quickly concealing itself again. Time to play doctor.

'Hn.' Itachi refused to let his mind wander when Rurouni ran her hands down his chest, or when she had her ear pressed for his heartbeat. The only problem now was that the particular _area_ of him that she had decided to sit on was getting... uncomfortable to say the least.

_Think non-Rurouni related thoughts..._Itachi had begun to wonder how far this would go. Kami knows he wouldn't up and run away from any kind of challenge. Problem is, Rurouni definitely won't either. But even he was finding this difficult, despite all apparent lack of emotion, he still had hormones. Being emotionally stunted does not have anything to do with what his body wants, and his body was beginning to betray him little by little with every moment that passed.

'Hm... I don't see anything wrong with you.' Rurouni concluded just as Itachi was beginning to panic inwardly. Of course, this didn't show on his face. The relief probably did a little until... 'Except maybe chapped lips.' Rurouni nodded, as if she knew what she was talking about: which she didn't. It was simply some lame pick-up line she had read on the back of a crappy girly magazine. It would work as an excuse for now, but kami she was never going to say this again.

'I guess you'll just have to borrow my vaseline.' Rurouni smirked and, before Itachi could comprehend what trash she had said, let alone her actions, she had leaned forward and the damage had been done.

Rurouni's lips had been placed on his. But sadly for Rurouni, Itachi was still being himself. Meaning he was just sitting there like an ornament doing nothing. She sighed mentally. She should've guessed that Itachi's self control would be this good. But he was a guy after all, and guys can only take so much before the crunch. Rurouni smirked into the kiss and pressed her whole body against Itachi's, forcing him back against the trunk of the tree easily. Maybe he was still in shock or something, Rurouni mused as her lips left his mouth and she began to nibble his ear gently. His breath hitched, but he regained control quickly. Nearly there.

Rurouni hummed, and left a trail of kisses along his neck. For someone who'd never done this before, she was really proud of herself for her progress so far. Itachi's back arched, and his breaths became slightly shorter. His eyes were still hard though, he was not going down easily.

Rurouni kept her attention on his neck, until she found that place between the collarbone and his neck. An almost inaudible moan found it's way out of Itachi's mouth. Rurouni, whose eyes had been closed, opened one to scan the emotions, or lack there of, on the Uchiha's face.

It took Itachi a moment to realise exactly _where_that weak sounding noise had come from. When he did, he was furious with himself to let his control slip like that. He knew he couldn't last forever, but maybe Rurouni would get bored if he remained immobile and just leave. Unlikely, she was amused very easily. This was probably her reason for doing this in the first place. She wanted a distraction that wasn't belladonna and he was the closest at hand.

'Ugh.' Itachi grunted out, as Rurouni ran her tongue across that same area and left hungry kisses in her wake. Curiosity and surprise, Rurouni had determined. Those were the expressions on his face, not what she was looking for but it was better than that expressionless mask he was wearing a few minutes ago.

Rurouni left his now-tender neck in favour of his lips, pressing against them just hard enough to get a small reaction. It was faint, but for a split second his lips had moved against hers.

For some reason, Rurouni felt as if the roles had been switched when she ran her tongue across his bottom lip eagerly. Usually, unless she was mistaken, the boy started off the first kiss. The guy is usually on top. And the guy is usually the one messing with the girl's head while all this is going on. Each of these statements were the other way around. _I wonder if that's bad..._she thought languidly, forcing back a smirk when Itachi finally opened his mouth to her.

_Bad or not, at least it's working_. _It's probably worse to be thinking about all this while you're making out with the guy though._Rurouni reprimanded herself. Itachi might be a little... sluggish, right now but he was no idiot so she shouldn't let her guard down yet. If she stopped paying him attention he'd have enough room to think and that would definitely be bad right now.

Rurouni teased Itachi's tongue into action. Soon he was fighting Rurouni for dominance (finally a reaction!) and his arms were locked around her neck, pulling her in deeper. For the sake of his male pride, Rurouni let him rule the kiss for a while but refused to give him enough thinking space. Seconds later, Itachi was lying flat on his back with Rurouni pressed on top of him, mouths glued together.

'Hey Itachi...' Rurouni whispered out between kisses, making sure his brain was only barely able to function.

'Hm?' came the intelligent response. At least he could still recognise his name.

'What's the password, Itachi?' Rurouni purred, slipping her hands under his black ANBU shirt teasingly.

Password. The word struck a chord with Itachi. This password was important... wasn't it? He thought Tsunade said something like that. But, no password no Rurouni. What _was_that password again? Itachi opened his eyes drowsily, and all he could see was blue.

'Sky's the password.' he murmured, and recaptured the blue-haired girl with his mouth again before frreezing in realisation about two seconds later. He could already feel the grin spreading across Rurouni's lips and in the one second before she seperated her lips from his, he had reprimanded his lack of control at least a hundred times.

'Itachi?' Rurouni knelt beside him, and took in his appearance. He was a mess. His long hair was tousled, his breathing was laboured and his face as red as the tomatoes that family seemed to love so much.

'What?' he snapped back.

'Thanks for the password, mongoose-man!' at that moment, she leaped away, nearly invisible at the speed she was moving.

In the end, Itachi could only think of one thing to say before turning to go home and clean up. 'Shit.'


	9. The itch, no not that kind!

Seregunda: Sorry for the long wait! Life was mental for a while there, but here's the new chappie! R&R plz!XD

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

Every ninja that had taken part in the exams were now standing in Tsunade's office. The kunoichi on one side, the shinobi on the other. Rurouni found it highly amusing that it was mostly the guys that looked bitter and disappointed, the kunoichi mostly swamped in auras of triumph.

Tsunade had just finished a speech on how much better the results were this year compared to last year. And most of the congratulations were going to the kunoichi, Rurouni noticed. She stiffened suddenly, feeling a glare burning into her back. For the millionth time since she had stepped into the office. Seriously, she knew Itachi would be bitchy for a while afterwards but this was ridiculous. _Well_, Rurouni sighed mentally,_ he'll get over it eventually. Or kill me, whichever comes first._

'How'd yours go? You only finished with Itachi an hour or two ago, right? I already heard all about Izumo from Ame.' Hana interrupted Rurouni's thoughts as soon as Tsunade finished her lecture on how some shinobi should learn more restraint.

Rurouni held out her finishing scroll that each competitor had been given after the exam. It was called a finishing scroll, but all it contained was a picture of both targets with either a green tick or a red cross over it.

Hana's eyes widened at the sight of the green tick over Itachi's picture. 'You little minx! You're going to have to tell us all about it later. We're having a celebratory party at my place tonight. I say party, but it's actually us plus Ame. Mum's on a mission and I have to watch Kiba and the dogs so I'm not allowed bring that many people over.' Hana half explained, half apologised.

'Sounds good, I'll tell Naruto so he won't be waiting up on me.' Rurouni nodded, squirming left to see Hana's results over the girl's shoulder. In the end, Hana noticed the cerulean haired girl's antics and turned the scroll to face her. A green tick hovered over Genma's head as expected. Iruka's had a red cross. Not very surprising, to Rurouni at least. Iruka was the type that was too nice to kiss on the first date, let alone make out in a classroom as Hana had planned.

The two chatted animatedly as they left the office, trying to plan for tomorrow night. Ame had split from them, saying she had to work extra shifts in the hospital.

Kiba would be present, apparently, but he was bringing his team over too so they should be kept busy wherever they decided to go in the compound. Hana had gotten dibs on the living room which had immediate access to the kitchen next to it, the TV and a couch so she really didn't care where her baby brother and his friends went.

Rurouni left Hana and wandered down the path slowly, not in any particular hurry to be anywhere. It was the height of summer, so the sun had yet to set until about ten o clock. It was seven now, and she had to be at Hana's place at eight thirty.

In the end, Rurouni settled for just eating out at Ichiraku's, thinking that Naruto would show up eventually seeing as she wasn't around to cook for him. Teuchi and his daughter Ayame had served up everything perfectly, as usual. But no Naruto. He wasn't at the barbecue restaurant that Rurouni had brought him to either. Or by the river.

She was beginning to get worried, but this thought flew completely out the window when she spotted the familiar Uchiha crest bobbing down the road in front of her, and the naruto-ish hairstyle.

'Shisui!' Rurouni called out to the Uchiha, who turned with a mild look of surprise on his face. Which quickly turned into a cheeky grin when he saw _who_ was calling him.

'Have you seen Naru-chan at all today? I can't find him anywhere.' Rurouni ran to catch up with him, looking up due to his (Barely) superior height.

'Nope, but I sure saw Itachi earlier! He seemed a little... _flustered_. You must be good if you got Itachi like that, mind giving me a demonstration?' Shisui teased, hooking his left arm around her waist as they continued walking down the street. Rurouni didn't think this guy had a single serious bone in his body.

'No thanks. I'd rather not have the therapy sessions I'd need afterwards to deal with the trauma.' Rurouni replied dryly, peeling his arm away and giving him a reproachful look, not that it would have any effect on him.

'Harsh. You're not cute at all, you know that? you're _supposed_to blush, stutter and act like a girl. Okay?' Shisui preached as the two continued down the road.

'Yes, I'll be sure to bend to every man's whim tomorrow and prance around Konoha in a bikini or something.' Rurouni couldn't help but scoff.

'Unnecessary, but I wouldn't complain.' Shisui nudged Rurouni playfully and dodged a nearly-fatal blow to his head. 'That could've actually hurt me!' he whined, completely unfazed.

'Kinda the point.' she responded dryly, a spiky blonde head catching her eye through the throngs of people. 'Nice to see you, Shisui. See you later!' she called and left the Uchiha standing in the middle of the road staring at the place she had previously been.

'Naru-chan, here you are! I've been looking everywhere for you!' Rurouni called out almost accusingly at the young jinchuriki, who had been in mid-conversation with someone until her voice had broken his concentration.

'Nee-chan! How'd the exams go?' Naruto gushed, leaving the shinobi's conversation much to the latter's irritation.

'All's good, I passed! Haha, not even an Uchiha can beat me!' Rurouni praised herself, taking note of the look of admiration that filled Naruto's eyes until the old shinobi behind him coughed meaningfully.

'What do you want, ero-sannin? I already told you, no!' Naruto waved slightly as if to brush him off.

'Ero-sannin... So you're Jiraiya then! It's nice to finally meet Naru-chan's mentor.' Rurouni held Naruto in place by the shoulder. If a sannin wanted to speak with Naruto then it would have to be important. At least the old toad hermit seemed to think so, as he had now puffed his chest out with pride and did what Rurouni could only describe as a stupid looking dance.

'That is right, young lady! It is I, Jiraiya-sama of the Legendary Sannin!' he announced rather... dramatically to say the least. Rurouni immediately thought the old man was one of the funniest people she'd ever seen, even if he never did manage to keep eye contact for long. Those eyes were always wandering somewhere.

'So, what's the problem?' Rurouni asked, eager to help.

'Nothing. He's being nosy.' Naruto huffed, earning only a shushing noise from the older girl.

Jiraiya was suddenly serious, all of his jokes thrown aside for now. 'I'm _trying _to give Naruto proper training. A certain group that you were called to Tsunade's office about recently is involved. Big Blue is the instigator.' Jiraiya said, encoded to all listening but them.

Kisame wanted Naruto? Well, the Akatsuki really, but Kisame and that guy Kyouhei are the ones being sent after him. 'I don't suppose you can tell me why?' Rurouni asked slowly, not caring about the slightly confused Naruto standing next to them badgering her with questions about what they were talking about.

'Sorry, but you can see the point, right? You're skills are at a high level, and if Naruto had the right qualities there would be no better teacher for him than you. But you can only use one element, and other than that it's all taijutsu for you. The complete opposite of Naruto.' Jiraiya explained, and Rurouni nodded in grudging acceptance. Her abilities were what made her different from other ninja, it confirmed her case that she is not a ninja. Naruto would have no chance of ever duplicating her moves.

'Naruto, I think you should listen to him.' Rurouni sighed after careful deliberation. She couldn't give in to the sad look Naruto was now giving her.

'What?! Why? I thought you liked having me around?' Naruto panicked, getting the completely wrong idea from their exchange.

'I do, relax. Jiraiya can explain things better than I can, but for your sake you'd be better off out of the village. Just for a while. Besides, Jiraiya is bound to have a couple of cool jutsus you could use to even trash me!' Rurouni ruffled his hair, watching as Naruto's face clearly showed the wheels beginning to turn in his mind.

'You promise it's only two years, ero-sannin?' Naruto's eyes narrowed into cautious slits as he took in the composed figure of the sannin.

'Cross my heart, gaki. You'll be back to your older girlfriend in no time.' Jiraiya scowled as he looked at the two would-be siblings. The shorter and blonder of the two turned beet-red and started spouting all kinds of nonsense in protest, but not really getting anywhere as the two other ninja laughed at his expense. Rurouni didn't care, she could see the twinkle of mischief in Jiraiya's eye and knew there was no belief in his previous statement anyway.

Naruto was going to be leaving tomorrow evening. Because of that, Rurouni called by Hana's to tell her the news and apologise profusely before heading straight home to Naruto. She wasn't going to spend Naruto's last night in Konoha with anyone but her new little brother.

'Don't worry about it Naru-chan. There's nothing in the world better than travelling! You get to see so many places, meet new people and learn so much! Open sky, sea or land. Whatever you're travelling on, it's great!' Rurouni laughed as Naruto settled down into the bed that still took up most of her living room.

'Coming from someone called _Rurouni_, it'd be weird if you said anything else.' Naruto snickered, dodging a pillow thrown his way by the cerulean haired girl.

During the night, as Rurouni preached all the wonders of travelling to Naruto, she felt a familiar itch return. The kind that flooded though her whole body and stayed in the back of her mind until she did something about it. Rurouni groaned, not wanting to think about it. That itch usually meant it was time to get back on the road again.

* * *

Naruto's leaving hadn't been as bad as Rurouni had epected it to be. Sure, she was sad. But Jiraiya had decided to have a little last minute fun with Naruto and told him the training could kill him, and Naruto had run around the village like a lunatic doing everything he could think of that he might have regretted not doing in the afterlife.

The village felt empty without Naruto. No more pranks, Iruka had nobody to fuss over, Ichiraku had lost their best customer and Sasuke hardly spoke anymore because the only time he ever really spoke in the first place was when he was arguing with Naruto. Rurouni had lost her little brother, she had tried using Sasuke as a substitute, but it hadn't been the same. It had just led to him freaking out when Rurouni asked why there was a funny looking black hickey on his neck. Apparently it was a 'curse mark'. Yeah right. They probably just told him that so he wouldn't be scared that a fifty year old pedophile tried to 'get his body'. How could a guy who wants Sasuke's body leave anything other than a hickey on his neck?

That was why she was standing in Tsunade's office a week later with the woman looking like she blow a gasket at her.

Itachi had been in the office giving a mission report at the time when Rurouni had stumbled into the office begging to be allowed to leave the village. To be honest, Rurouni was surprised she lasted as long as she did. She was convinced it was all down to Naruto, and now that Naruto had left there was nothing tying her to the village any more. And besides, after that week the itch still hadn't gone away.

'No need to be so rash, we can always compromise.' Tsunade grunted out after Shizune forced her to breathe deeply.

'That's good, because I really do like this village. I just hate staying in one place for too long.' Rurouni nodded in agreement.

Itachi genuinely didn't know what he thought of this situation, so he left with a curt bow and all but fled the tower. His mother would have lost a favourite torture subject of hers, so she'd probably start annoying himself and Sasuke more often now. Hana and Shisui would miss her. Itachi had noticed the three getting closer as of late, and Sasuke would probably like to know he's safe again. Since Naruto had left Rurouni had even tried calling the poor boy 'Sasu-chan'. The shade of red his little brother had gone would be an unforgettable moment in time for him now.

* * *

'So we've agreed?' Tsunade sighed, a good deal calmer now. Rurouni nodded, beaming. Shizune was simply amazed they had gone through this whole process without killing eachother.

'Yup, I get to wander around for two years like Naruto. But I gotta come back on time or you'll kick me into next week, and I gotta catch bounties in the name of Konoha and spread the word that Wildcat is in an alliance with you.' Rurouni repeated, proud of herself for getting this far. She couldn't wait to be free, even the confines of the village had been making her feel a little claustrophobic lately.

'Rurouni, good luck. And be sure to look up a way to unblock that weird chakra pattern of yours, it's been infuriating me for a while now.' Tsunade sighed and handed over Rurouni's release forms.

Rurouni nodded, but knew there was nothing she could do about those patterns. That man, the same who could never tell her the date of her birthday, her name, or even where she was from did that to her chakra. 'Irreversible, uncontrollable and just like you.' were the words he had used to describe it after it's completeion. Others had also done it under his control, she had seen it happen. That's why she could never call herself a ninja.

'Of course.' she grinned and bowed gratefully, exiting the room immediately to prepare for her departure from the village.

Rurouni ignored the odd looks she got as she ran at full speed through busy streets, and slammed the door behind her as she arrived home. It had only barely occured to her to write a message to leave on her apartment door.

_To Shisui, Hana and whoever else decides to read this,_

_I'm off! Remember when I told you I was thinking of leaving, Hana? Well, it was more sudden than I planned but that's life for you._

_Don't worry about me, I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. And I'll be back in around two years anyway, I might even drop in to say hi from time to time while I'm travelling! That's just a maybe though._

_From,_

_Rurouni/Wildcat/325._

Rurouni scribbled down the names without thinking as she sellotaped her note to the door and took off as fast as quickly as she could in the direction of the village gates, not knowing or really caring what came next as long as it involved the sun, sky and the open road.


	10. Big Blue

Seregunda: Sorry for the long wait! R&R plz!XD

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

* * *

Rurouni was _not _lost. She just happened to be in the middle of taking an interesting and unplanned detour. She was supposed to be halfway to Yugakure by now, but for some odd reason Rurouni found herself standing in a village outside Kirigakure. Nami no Kuni. Which was technically only eight miles away from the road she was supposed to be on, according to the man she stopped in the street, so she was _definitely_ not lost.

Tsunade had given her a specific timetable to stick to, and a list of villages she had to arrive in and basically wreak havoc on to an extent. Kiri had not been on that list in any shape or form, Rurouni blamed habit.

This had been the town where she had picked up her second name 'Wildcat', where she had first been taken note of as a threat in the eyes of the shinobi world. This is probably the only village in the five nations that would be able to recognise her by sight, and even then that had been years ago. Rurouni was no longer the small, scrawny looking pain in the ass she had been back then. Now she was a tall, full-sized pain in the ass, and proud of it.

Rurouni wondered if the old place still existed. She doubted it, and was not planning on finding out.

Rurouni padded softly to the west of the town and stopped to snicker at a newly built bridge. 'The Great Naruto Bridge'.

'The kid must've made a better impression on the villagers than I did then!' Rurouni laughed, not caring at the odd looks she knew she was drawing in.

'You know Naruto-niichan?' a younger voice sounded off to Rurouni's left. Turning, Rurouni found a young boy with scruffy brown hair wearing a fishing hat. He looked pretty eager for information too, Rurouni kind of got a Konohamaru feel off him in a way.

'Sure do, kid. I'm guessing he caused quite an uproar around here if he managed to get some bridge named after him.' Rurouni chuckled. Nothing normal ever really happened when Naruto was around.

'Is he okay? How are his missions going? You're from Konoha too, right? We heard about Otogakure attacking Konoha, is everyone alright?' the kid just kept pelting Rurouni with questions.

'Hi, I'm Rurouni, nice to meet you too. Everything is fine I guess, I sort of only moved to Konoha after all that happened but everything involving Naruto's all good anyway.' she supplied easily, making the younger boy to flush, embarrassed.

'Sorry for asking so many questions. I'm Inari! I met Naruto here when he saved our village!' Inari puffed out his chest, clearly proud of the blonde idiot.

'I've got to hear this. Naruto never told me he saved a whole village.' Rurouni frowned and focused on Inari's story, completely forgetting that she should probably be hurrying to Yugakure by now.

Rurouni listened to the kid's story to the end, and couldn't believe Naruto had never told her something like this. He loved to brag, so it was really unlike him.

'So now Kubikiri Hocho is up for grabs, huh?' Rurouni mumbled, more to herself than to the boy who now seemed very interested in anything she had to say.

'What's a Ku-whatsit?' he asked innocently.

'That giant sword Zabuza-san used to always carry with him. Stupid really, the sword I mean. Kisame's sword has special chakra eating properties. All Zabuza's sword was, was big. They were both one of the seven swordsmen so it's not like he couldn't have gotten something cooler, like a shape shifting sword or something.' Rurouni yawned, tiring of the conversation already.

'You knew them?' Inari seemed to be trying to piece bits of information together.

'You bet. I didn't know Zabuza so well though, I only ran into him once or twice because of Kisa-san.' she answered, beginning to fiddle with her long plait boredly.

'If it's the same Kisame... There's some big huge guy that looks like a shark staying at the inn. Some other guy with green hair's with him.' Inari supplied with a shiver.

'They're wanted criminals, why would you give them a room to stay?' Rurouni laughed at the absurdity of it, suddenly losing interest in her hair.

'Umm, they're a lot stronger than even Zabuza or Haku were. If we went against them it wouldn't be hard for them to kill us all, it's easier to give in to them. Besides, they said they're only passing through anyway. Not like Gato.' Inari sighed, not enjoying the situation but he could hardly complain. It's not like the two had even caused any trouble in the village yet.

'That Kisame... Thanks for the info, kid. I think I'm gonna go and pay Big Blue a visit, it's been a while!' Rurouni laughed and ditched the kid so fast he didn't know what happened.

'It really has been a while, sensei.' Rurouni grinned and used the roofs of the houses to propel herself towards her destination that bit faster.

* * *

It was weird, and took a lot of getting used to. The fact that Rurouni was gone.

It wasn't as if Itachi had interacted with her all that much, but even people who didn't know her personally were asking where _that blue chick_ went. She was just noticeable, and that was it.

And Shisui still hadn't stopped flaunting the fact that he had passed the password exam while Itachi had not. Everything was just building up to a boiling point and Itachi felt as if he would snap soon. Which, eventually, he did. And at his father, no less. Who, to make matters worse, had just raised an eyebrow at him as if to just point out his son's immaturity.

Sasuke had been acting... odd to say the least recently, to top it all off. Rurouni had hinted that Sasuke had a girlfriend before she left, and told Itachi to just 'check his neck for proof'. Itachi had orgininally just rolled his eyes at her, mostly due to the mischievous grin she had on her face, and didn't believe her. Rurouni had then left Konoha the day after, and in a way Itachi had wanted to honour her last request in a way.

You can imagine his surprise when he saw the large, incriminating mark taking up a large area of his brother's neck. Itachi felt it his duty as Sasuke's brother to just turn the other way and pretend he never saw it. Itachi had just assumed, due to his brother's cold personality, that he would hate fangirls as much as Itachi did. Evidently, not.

That note that Itachi had found on Rurouni's door had bugged him a little too. He didn't really know why, but the fact that only Shisui's and Hana's names had been mentioned seriously annoyed him. And the fact that he had no idea what the numbers 325 came after Rurouni's two names for. A third name, or maybe some stupid inside joke she had shared with Shisui. Those two had always been snickering about something to one another.

Rurouni had been given strict instructions by Tsunade though, a list of rogue ninja to eliminate and villages to visit. It was more like a long-term mission than anything else, but Rurouni had seemed happy enough with the arrangements.

It was odd, Itachi mused as he watched Sasuke struggle in the garden as if having a fit, how much a person can grow on you when you don't even realise it yourself. Even if that person was a serious pain in the ass.

* * *

To say Kisame had been surprised to see the familiar blue-haired girl standing at the door to his room in the inn would be an understatement.

'Hi Kisa-sensei! Long time no see!' Rurouni chirped, giving a mock-salute to the large blue ex-Kiri shinobi that stood at the door gawking openly at her.

'Shrimp, is that you?! Bwahaha, you've gotten a lot taller! How's it going?' Kisame boomed loudly, attracting the attention of his teammate inside.

'All good. I'm not gonna ask about the Akatsuki, cause then I'd have to tell Konoha about it. Don't ask about Konoha either, kay?' Rurouni smiled impishly, and pointed at her Konohagakure hitaite. Kisame frowned, before breaking into another toothy smile. That was what Rurouni loved about the swordsman, he never thought about things pessimistically.

'Never thought I'd see the day where you outta all people join a village! Let alone that bunch of weaklings!'Kisame guffawed, ignoring Rurouni's reproachful glare as he always used to.

'Kisame-san, who is this girl?' Kisame's teammate inquired curiously, poking his head around his partner's large bulk.

'Oh, Kyouhei. I forgot about you, this is Rurouni. She's an old student of mine that I picked up in this very town! You were being run out of the village, if I remember right?' Kisame winked good-naturedly at Rurouni to calm her down. He wasn't going to reveal what had happened before then to his current partner.

'That's right. Trouble seems to stick to me, somewhat. Nice to meet'cha Kyouhei.' Rurouni shook hands firmly and took in Kisame's partner's appearance.

Kyouhei was probably only two inches taller than Rurouni herself, which ruled out being a major taijutsu user as his muscles weren't as well defined as a shinobi who specialised in taijutsu's would be. His hair was a dark green, and reminded Rurouni of the pine trees that flourished well around the area. His eyes were brown, and he seemed to have a quiet demeanor, as if he thought he would scare you off if he spoke too loudly.

Probably a genjutsu user, that seemed like the way Leader would organise the teams. Kisame fights using mainly taijutsu, and the occasional ninjutsu. It would make more sense to send in a genjutsu user who had a bit of ninjutsu to balance it out a bit.

'Where are you two heading? If it's confidential don't feel the need to tell me.' Rurouni sat on a rickety wooden chair in Kisame's room. She had been told that the economy of Nami no Kuni had improved a lot a short time since Gato was murdered, if this was the state the inn was in now she didn't want to know what it was like before.

'Not confidential at all. We're heading on up to Iwagakure, Deidara said he remembered there might be a clue about a bijuu up there. No harm in you knowing that since it has nothing to do with Konoha.' Kisame yawned, showing his rows of white, pointed teeth.

'Too bad, I've gotta go to Yugakure. That's Hidan's old place, right? Anyway, I was gonna ask if you wanted to travel together but we're going the opposite direction!' Rurouni whined in annoyance.

'We couldn't have you getting involved anyway, you might get hurt.' Kyouhei added, trying to be nice, but sadly failed to notice Kisame's warning signals from behind Rurouni's back.

'Oh really?! Well, Mr I-rock-so-much-I'm-better-than-someone-who's-been-fighting-since-she-was-born, I'd like to see you try and hurt me. I bet even if I stood still and took your punch it would bounce right off!' Rurouni hissed.

Kisame sighed in silent agreement. To an extent. Physically, Rurouni was much more qualified to be in the Akatsuki than Kyouhei. But the Akatsuki already had Kisame, who was an expert on everything that Rurouni was. That being, taijutsu and water-jutsu. Rurouni majored in both, however she didn't know a single genjutsu and had no chakra affinity other than water. That being said, Rurouni could only perform jutsu that were water-related. Even Academy-level nin and genjutsu were forever out of her reach.

This was where Kisame was more useful to the Akatsuki than Rurouni. Kisame could perform, obviously, ninjutsu such as transformation jutsu or the body flicker technique. Rurouni, due to the lack of water in both of these techniques, could not and will never be able to. He knew it was something Rurouni was deeply ashamed of, and worked at improving herself endlessly because of it. But still, Rurouni was of no use to the Akatsuki as long as they have Kisame.

It was also why Kisame knew even if Rurouni did want to join the Akatsuki, which he also knew she never would, that Leader-sama wouldn't even pair her with him, her sensei. It was better to have a mixed team who specialised in different areas, apparently. Kisame still had no idea where that left Deidara and Sasori though, who both specialised in long-distance fighting.

Kisame broke out of his thoughts once he realised Rurouni had been calmed down by his slightly panicking partner.

'I'll be seeing you, Kisa-sensei. Tsunade-sama's gonna kill me if I don't get to Yugakure soon, good luck with your information gathering and stuff!' Rurouni laughed and waved at the two slightly confused Akatsuki members before suddenly grabbing Kisame in a sudden headlock.

'And if I meet ya soon when I'm not as busy you can be sure I'll want a rematch, sensei!' Rurouni grinned before releasing him and rocketing down the hallway before Kisame could get in a second word.

'She was... odd.' Kyouhei quipped, offering Kisame a hand to pull said man up off the floor.

'I know, but she's my weirdo. Ouch, sadly.' Kisame winced after gingerly rubbing his neck where Rurouni's vice-like grip had been. She must have been training hard, with a grip like that.

**

Rurouni left Nami no Kuni that night, grinning from ear to ear for a change. She had been expecting, when entering that particular village, to have gone through some kind of serious emotional trauma. Thankfully, Kisame had been there to stop that. Again, like he always had been.

Rurouni nodded at a shrine erected for travellers before moving on determinedly. When she returned to Konoha, Rurouni would be sure to pass through Nami no Kuni again. She never had checked if that place still existed.

* * *

Seregunda: Yay, the proper plotline is actually beginning to come through! *all happy now*. Please R&R! Reviews attract plot bunnies!XD


	11. Here comes Momo!

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

Too many memories could tip the balance of her mind permanently, Rurouni knew that well. She had almost succumbed to it once before, but Kisame had pulled her out of it and introduced her to people who gradually grew on her. Deidara and Hidan being the two most prominent in her mind.

It had happened because she wasn't a ninja, yet did things only a ninja could be excused for. Even if Rurouni hadn't known it at the time. Even now, Rurouni sometimes would still have preferred living on in her ignorance. Despite the horror that ignorance had caused to others. Rurouni always did reprimand herself when her thoughts turned down that road though, life was too short to waste moping around and feeling sorry for herself, Kisame taught her that.

But... it had been two and a half years since she had last visited this damn village, and she was already wallowing in her own thoughts! Rurouni pinched her cheeks as punishment to herself. Hard.

'There is no way in hell I'm gonna wind up as emo-ish as Mongoose-dude!' Rurouni declared loudly, all bravado, and for the second time since she had left Konoha, she crossed the Great Naruto Bridge.

She had changed little in the two and a half years other than her hair was longer. Rurouni'sblue locks were still tied back in the same plait but now reached halfway down her spine. Due to the wear and tear of travelling, her clothing choice had to be altered somewhat. She wore the same style tank top, but in white now instead of jade. The bord shorts she wore were a deep navy and reached the knee on her right leg, but some ninja from Kusagakure's kunai had caught the material on her left leg and it was now a couple of inches shorter than the right.

Rurouni had completed the list Tsunade had given her, down to the last detail. Once that list had been completed, the Fifth Hokage had personally sent a messenger hawk to the inn Rurouni had been staying in with a single final instruction to complete before returning to Konoha.

_Go to Nami no Kuni, Copycat and Youthful Booger will meet you there and give you further instructions. They will also be your teammates for this mission so try not to ditch them. It will also require stealth, I know how much I am asking of you but please try not to laugh at Youthful Booger during the mission. _

_Signed: Tonton._

Rurouni was proud of herself for not laughing aloud at the encripted letter. It was actually clever, in it's own way. Copycat was obviously Kakashi, Youthful Booger was Gai. And not many people would know Tsunade had a pet pig named Tonton so it served it's purpose. Rurouni was sure Tsunade could probably find a better word for green than booger for poor Gai though, nobody ever seemed to cut him any slack.

'My youthful friend has returned to us! Come, let us show this 'cool' guy the meaning of youth!'

'Yo.'

Take your pick at who said what. Rurouni nodded minimally at the two jounin standing at the opposite end of the bridge. Well, by standing Rurouni meant Kakashi was leaning against the railing reading his pervert books and Gai was doing one-handed push-ups. 'Why me?' she groaned inwardly as she approached the two.

'You two really haven't changed at all since I left. Not even slightly.' Rurouni smiled weakly as Gai seemed to take it as a compliment and started gushing about how the power of youth had prevented further ageing. Kakashi, being the more intelligent of the two, noticed Rurouni's distasteful glare at his orange book and slipped it into his pocket quickly. Icha Icha Paradise was not a smart thing to read around Rurouni, or a safe thing. She might damage the book.

'So, what's the deal with the mission?' Rurouni asked, getting straight down to business. Being around Gaifor too long meant a possible migraine, Rurouni needed to know how long she'd have to go without laughing. She should probably just settle for not looking at him. Although that bright green spandex made that pretty difficult.

'Jiraiya heard something that sounded kind of off about Nami no Kuni. It was back when Gato had a monopoly of this area... there was some place called the Gallows. We don't know much about it, or anything really, but movement has been detected around there again so we've bee sent to investigate.' Kakashi explained, taking note of the expression that flashed behind Rurouni's eyes before she schooled it over again. That was... interesting.

'Alright. So, do we begin right away?' Rurouni asked, making sure her voice was completely under control before speaking.

'Of course, you must want to get back to see how everyone is doing as quick as possible, ne?' Kakashi straightened up and looked to the southwest where the Gallows were situated.

'Let us try and complete this mission in a record time!' Gai cheered, ceasing his exercises immediately and bounding off in the direction of the Gallows, giving Kakashi and Rurouni no choice but to follow quickly before he did anything stupid.

* * *

Panic was the only word that could describe the tight feeling in Rurouni's chest. She was unaccustomed to this feeling, and hated it from the moment it set in.

Kakashi and Gai might be eccentric, but neither were idiots. Even Gai. If there was a single person left in that place, Rurouni knew her future in Konoha would be short-lived. To the point where she wouldn't be surprised or blame Tsunade for executing her. Rurouni had been amazed that she had been taken in as Wildcat, but to be accepted after this would be impossible even for the people of Konoha. For the love of Kami, Rurouni didn't even accept it herself!

Rurouni had yet to voice her opinion when Gai, who was at the front of their group, halted in front of a decrepit looking stone arch leading down into the ground surrounded by creepy looking mist. Being the typically non-suspicious, innocent and naive girl Rurouni was, she made the hand signs to dissipate a Kirigakure no Jutsu. No dice, the mist just hovered around he place as if taunting her that it was a natural occurence.

Through an act of sulking more so than actual usefulness, Rurouni pushed her chakra out into the air around her and condensed the mist, causing droplets of water to crash to the ground in one go and widen the three shinobi's field of vision. She was praised by Kakashi for her quick thinking, and shut her mouth when she felt as if she should tell him that she didn't think of it like that.

They entered through the arch, taking note of their surroundings. Behind the arch was a long, grimy stone tunnel which wound it's way deep underground. Rurouni shivered at the not-so-welcome sense of deja vu she was getting. Not good, if she remembered right this is where-

'Hello there young-uns. It's been such a long time since any of little Gato'sfriends came to play, do I know you girlie?' an old crone had hobbled out from behind a large boulder on the right, and stepped right up next to Rurouni to observe her. Rurouni couldn't believe she had almost forgotten about the old hag. Suffered slightly from Alzheimer's, and rarely remembered anything clearly, even her own son's death.

'Sorry baa-chan, I've definitely never been here before.' Rurouni scratched the back of her head apologetically. The old woman backed off a little.

'Sorry, at my age you begin to forget some things. You must remind of a gladiator that used to fight here years ago.' the old lady sighed sadly and leaned heavily on her cane, suddenly glaring up at the three intruders.

'What do you three want with my son's arena? The fights stopped a few months ago...' Rurouni watched sadly as the old lady struggled to remember the last gladiatorial fight that had taken place there, just mere days before Gato had died.

'I must apologise for our intrusion, we are shinobi who heard an interesting rumour about this place and wanted to have a look before we went home to our own village.' Kakashi lied with such ease even Rurouni found it difficult to not believe him.

The old woman brightened up upon hearing this. 'Of course dear. It's always nice to have company, it gets lonely sometimes between the fights with just myself, Gato and Momo running around. How about I give you a tour?' she offered, forgetting again of the incident involving her son's death, and inclined her head slightly to the three visitors.

'My name is Keiko, I'm Gato's mother. Momo is running around here somewhere, he's our pet Onbaa.' Keioko continued, not noticing the look of terror that had plastered itself across both Kakashi and Gai's faces.

'U-um, Momo shouldn't be around for a while, right?' Kakashi asked in an almost begging tone, almost collapsing from relief when the old crone shook her head and informed him that when Momo leaves her sight it's always to eat and since he's a picky eater it should take a while.

Keiko led the three shinobithrough the straight-line tunnel until the end, when the roof elevated swiftly and the tunnel no longer pressed in around them.

Rurouni had completely forgotten the power of the Gallows presence. There were roughly hewn tiered seats carved out of the very rock of the walls going up the side of the carved out cavern they were standing in, all facing a large circular arena cut further into the ground than the rest of the cavern, fenced in by a wire electric fence, whose electricity had obviously been switched off since Gato's death.

'I can't believe Konoha did not know of this.' Gai muttered, trying to take it all in. Those seats could easily fit hundreds of people!

'Nobody knew about this. My little Gato-kins wouldn't let anyone find out, so promise me you won't tell?' the old lady raised her wizened face to meet Kakashi's eye, apparently she had already decided him to be the leader of the little group. Which he kind of was, but it still annoyed Rurouni to a certain extent.

'Of course.' Kakashi soothed her easily, his one visible eye crinkling at the sides to show he was smiling. Rurouni honestly didn't know how that man could lie as well as he did, especially since his normal excuses were so lame. Such as 'I got lost on the path of life'. Rurouni snapped her attention back to the conversation just as Kakashi asked what used to happen in this place. Rurouni stiffened.

'Hm... Gladiators were forced to fight against animals or other gladiators. Momo used to be one of the Onbaa used in the fights until he was seriously injured by Gladiator number:352. Momo was a spirited fighter though, even in my old age there are certain things I'll never forget. 352's fights being one of them.' Keiko nodded, as if stating a fact.

'Wait, _forced_to fight? How un-youthful! Captured slaves?' Gai cried, streams of dramatic tears coursing down his face out of sympathy.

'Something like that, sonny boy. A lot of the gladiators were criminals who were in debt to my son, but there were a few who were brought in by slave traders or were refugees from wars and were promised great riches if they won an almost imagineable number of fights. There were few exceptions to these people, but they were there too.' Keiko spoke slowly, remembering pieces from the past.

Rurouni finally decided to speak up. 'Where did you keep all these fighters? You said something about a gladiator number 352 earlier, right? There must be a huge prison here.' she looked around the arena as if trying to see some exit or something.

'Haha, you're a sharp little kunoichi. You see that arena down there? There are two doors camouflaged on either side of the arena where the contestants emerge from, it's the most accessible way to the gladiator's quarters.' Keiko explained as Rurouni's eyes lit up in mock wonderment.

'Would you mind if we took a look down there? Or isit off limits?' Kakashi asked in a way that said he was going to go down there whether she let him or not.

The old lady chuckled darkly. 'I've got no problem with it, but you won't like what you see down there. There are leftovers of the fights still wandering around down there, some alive but most not. I send Momo down there every once and a while to clean the place up.' Rurouni blanched. That old Onbaa had always been repulsive, but now it even ate dead bodies? Rurouni wished it _had_ been killed years ago by 352.

Kakashi, Gai and Rurouni clambered down into the arena using a rope supplied by Keiko and fumbled around for a few minutes until they had found one of the two camouflaged entrances. Gai managed to force it open by himself, claiming that the _mighty power of youth needs no assistance_.

It opened immediately into a dingy hallway hewnfrom stone, with a large heavy wooden door studded with dull metal spikes at the end of it.

Rurouni's head swam upon seeing that door, but quickly regained control. There was no reason for Kakashi or Gai to figure out the link between herself and this place, and she sure as hell wasn't going to give them reason to suspect anything! Rurouni straightened her back and levelled her head for good measure before kicking the door open easily and looked calmly down the long corridor lit by torches, which threw shadows across the wall, dancing.

Simple numbered wooden doors with a small barred window near the top lined the corridor. The gladiators' residences. Looking back, Rurouni remembered, the jail cell she had in Konoha was a hell of a lot better than this place, at least she had a nice view there.

Kakashi had begun wrinkling his sensitive nose, it was visible even through the mask he wore. Especially since both Gai and Rurouni held the same expression. The entire hallway reeked of death. More so than before.

'She wasn't lying when she said most of the inhabitants were dead...' Gai sighed after glancing through one of the windows. Rurouni simply couldn't bring herself to.

Rurouni counted the numbers on the doors as they walked, getting more nervous the higher the numbers went.

'352, want to take a look? This is the room of that gladiator Keiko-san kept talking about.' Gai stopped outside a wooden door that didn't stand out any more than the rest.

'We'll have to go into one for information eventually, we might as well try on of the stronger fighter's rooms first.' Kakashi nodded in agreement before checking the door for any jutsu or seals. There were none. 'Quite a trusting gladiator.' Kakashi mused aloud.

'Maybe he just didn't know any jutsu, he could have lived here nearly all his life, where would he have learned them?' Rurouni quipped, and pushed the door open confidently and looked around the room. If you could call it that.

Grey brick walls, concrete floor, one candle, no windows, one mattress, and a trunk at the end of the mattress. No visible place to wash.

'They didn't believe in much comfort, did they?' Gai seemed to almost praise them on that one, as if the struggle made them tougher.

Kakashi ignored Gai and went straight for the trunk which Rurouni followed him to eagerly.

All that was inside was a bunch of objects that gave little impressions of the Gallows to the shinobi. Inside, there were a pair of nunchucks, a sketchpad with childlike drawings contained inside, a blue anklet, and...

'A teddy bear?' Kakashi held up a grey patched bear gingerly, as if it might explode at any minute, and compared that and the sketchpad. Which was filled with messy scribbles of stick-figures. One was obviously Gato, as it basically consisted of a large circle for a body, smaller one for the head, awkwardly drawn glasses and fluffy grey hair.

'What age was 352?' Gai asked incredulously, flicking through the sketchpad with disbelief. Kakashi answered after a brief moment of silence.

'To be honest Gai, I really think 352 was a young child. Gato probably bought a slave as a young child and trained them up as 352, it's not so impossible a thought. I was present during Gato's death, I know he was a genuinely selfish and uncaring individual. I wouldn't put any underhanded deeds past him.' Kakashi sighed, about to stand up before hearing a loud roar echoing through the the whole of the Gallows. It sounded a lot closer than Kakashi would have liked.

And then, an unfamiliar voice screamed out in warning. 'Everyone still in their cells, get out right now! Momo's coming!'

* * *

Seregunda: I am fully aware of the fact that, yes I am evil for putting in a cliffie. But, I _did_ update again within one day so I can do what I want!:) R&R plz!XD


	12. The death of 352

Seregunda: Heheh... I probably should have mentioned this before writing my last chappie. Tnx to those who reminded me! An onbaa is an animal that made an appearance in one of the filler episodes after Sasuke ran off to Orochimaru, the description of what it looks like etc. will be shown in the chapter here!XD And yup, this is after the time skip. That's why Rurouni said she was back in Nami no Kuni two and a half years later. Hope this helped!^^

* * *

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

* * *

Shit. Rurouni pushed past Kakashi and ran out into the corridor, streams of ex-gladiators were hurriedly running in one direction. Away from Momo.

'We seriously have to move!' Rurouni yelped, ushering Gai and Kakashi out of 352's room as quickly as possible. Blatantly ignoring the odd looks she had acquired from the two jounin.

'I'm sure we can handle some old injured onbaa. Keiko said 352 injured it too badly for it to fight anymore, right?' Gai laughed loudly, not noticing the haggard appearance of the blue haired girl.

'I get the feeling that 352 didn't injure Momo nearly enough. Have you ever seen a full grown onbaa, Gai? They grow up to ten foot tall, and under that fur is nothing but muscle. I know we'd be able to 'handle it', as you so quaintly put it, but it's a fight we would rather avoid. Trust me on this one.' Rurouni tried to convince the green beast of Konoha. He appeared to be sceptical, but followed Rurouni and Kakashi along the same path as the gladiators.

During the short space of time Rurouni had been running, she had answered the one question that had been plaguing her mind since Keiko had allowed them access to the gladiators' quarters. Why were the gladiators still there, if Gato was long gone? The answer in the end, came quickly. That old woman was craftier than she let on. Even though Keiko thought her son was still alive, she is and always was the best guard for the place there ever was.

Keiko had set traps around the entrance's and exits to the quarters, that could only be passed by if Keiko's will allowed it. The last time a gladiator tried to escape, poison gas was released through pin pricks in the walls, the floor dropped out to reveal spikes and an axe fell from the ceiling. That, and Momo kept the gladiators in line so well nobody would try and escape. It really was hard to choose a death when it involved being gassed or eaten.

'Rurouni, Gai, did you two hear that?' Kakashi had come to a halt, forcing Rurouni to stop her running and break out of the trance she had been in. She hadn't heard anything, but judging from the rapid nodding of Gai's head he had heard something also.

'H-help! He's g-g-gonna... Aaaarrrggghhh!' a scream tore through the entire corridor, causing more than one of the occupants of the hallway to shiver unwillingly. Rurouni sure heard that.

'It's not like we can ignore that.' Rurouni sighed dismally, but Gai seemed thrilled that he got the chance to fight the dreaded Momo. Rurouni sighed again. Keiko should really give more creative names to the monsters brought here, Momo wasn't exactly a name that invoked terror in people.

The scream had come from one of the rooms, the door had been torn off so the number was unreadable. The three Konoha shinobi shot towards the room, and almost glued themselves to the spot they were standing on.

To Rurouni, Momo's appearance hadn't come so much as a surprise as it was incredulity. The same as the time she had laid eyes on the Gallows, she had forgotten the effect standing in Momo's presence could have on a shinobi. It forced the spine to turn rigid, and a cold clammy feeling to run up and down your entire body. Until the anticipation kicked in anyway.

Momo was standing, hunched over due to the restricting height of the ceiling, facing the corner where one gladiator was huddled over another who was bleeding profusely. Only legs were visible as Momo's bulk obscured the gladiators from Rurouni's line of vision, so all she could make out was the puddle of blood growing steadily on the floor.

Momo, from a biological point of view, was a magnificent specimen of the onbaa species. He had grown to the full ten foot height, his body was covered in the coarse slate grey fur that was normal for the onbaa species, his hairless, rat-like face was a leathery black, and stood balanced on his hind legs to the extent the ceiling allowed him to. In short, it looked like a cross between a bear and a monkey. From a realistic point of view, however, they were screwed.

The only thing that stood out about this particular onbaa, is that it's red eyes had faded to a milky pink and a long scar ran across it's face from one eye to the other.

'T-that's _Momo_?!' Gai's bravado had dulled down a bit now.

'Yup. He's blind by the looks of it, but don't count him out because of that. An onbaa's sense of smell and it's hearing are their main methods of locating people in a fight anyway.' Rurouni supplied, probably the calmest person in the room.

Thankfully for the two gladiators in the room, Rurouni and Gai's chit-chat had attracted Momo's attention and he turned and refocused his attention from one group of prey to the other.

Kakashi motioned for them to quiet down, and the three shinobi and two gladiators in the room stopped moving, talking and even breathing. The only sound now was of Momo's long claws scraping off the stone floor. After what seemed like forever, the injured gladiator let out a whimper of pain and Momo screeched loudly and flailed out in the general direction, claws connecting with the mattress and ripping it asunder.

Rurouni, thinking as quickly as she could, shoved Gai and Kakashi out of the doorway and screamed as loudly as possible. Momo's attention was diverted from the two gladiators and he lunged at Rurouni, who dodged and jumped backwards out into the hallway again.

'Kakashi, Gai! I'm going to distract him, you two snoop around and deal with the injured and do your job or whatever! Good luck!' she yelled over her shoulder and began running down the corridor with Momo loping after her, following the noises she kept making to attract his attention. Rurouni dodged another hooked claw and threw open a metal door unlike the others near the end of the corridor and leaped in.

Momo was snarling now, getting more annoyed and began destroying everything that got in the way of him and his prey. The room, however, appeared to be a lab of some sort. Incubator tubes filled with gushing green liquid were placed strategically around the room, circling a pentagram engraved deep into the floor with shackles to hold whatever was supposed to be placed into the pentagram fast.

Rurouni dodged, this time the jaws, and hit off one of the tubes. As the green liquid sloshed above her, memories flooded unbidden into her mind.

*_Flashback_*

_'352, come here girl. You're nearly strong now, nearly strong enough to play with everyone else.' Gato soothed a young child, probably around the age of four, with tanned skin, amber eyes and black hair pulled into a short plait._

_'I can play now? Thank you Gato-san! Can I play with 211 first? He seems fun!' the little girl blinked up ecstatically as she was led down the corridor of the gladiator's quarters._

_'211 is still too big for you, but if you get strong fast I might let you play with Momo soon.' Gato's sneer was completely lost on the young girl as a metal door was opened, and a lab was shown beyond. Green tubes and a pentagon were the most prominent features._

_'What're these? Toys?' 352 asked a man in a long white coat who had been tending to one of the incubator tubes. The look Gato had given him was enough to deter him from snapping back about how these were important tools, not toys._

_'These toys are what will give you strength to play with the big boys and girls. All you have to do, is stand in the circle and let those metal bracelets hold your legs for a few minutes. It'll all be over then.' Gato watched impatiently as the black haired girl clicked he shackles into place around her ankles and watched him eagerly, not able to wait until she could play with the big boys and girls. 'This will only take a few minutes, relax.' Gato informed her, as she just nodded._

_'What are the effects this experiment could take on her? 352's chakra is blocked, it won't kill her, right? She's pretty strong already, I don't want to lose a valuable fighter.' Gato drawled at the man who had glared at 352 moments earlier. _

_'The release of so much chakra after it had been blocked since birth will cause at most pain in her body for fifteen minutes at the most. I can only unblock one chakra path, however, any more really would kill her. Would you like me to unblock an elemental chakra, or the natural chakra?' the scientist connected some thick wires between the incubator tubes as he spoke._

_'Elemental. Natural chakra fights won't reel in as much customers, it's not nearly flashy or interesting enough.' Gato replied, as the scientist simply nodded and continued on._

_'This means the chakra could take on the form of a physical manifestation and change the pigment of either the skin, eye or hair. It is also a good way to determine what element she can control, as it's impossible for me to decide which of her chakra to release past natural or elemental. It's like the lottery.' the scientist smirked and flipped a switch before Gato could say anything more._

_The green bubbling liquid began draining from the tubes and seeping up from the cracks of the engraved pentagon, and drenching the feet of 352 who stood innocently in the circle._

_'Gato-san, this stuff is yucky and sticky.' she whined as Gato simply pressed a finger to his lips and shushed her, paying more attention to what his emplyee was doing as he began pressing more buttons and flipped one or two more switches._

_352 screamed in pain as electicity began coursing through the metal shackles on her ankles, and the smell of burnt flesh could be smelt around the lab. The green gloop was protecting most of her skin though, but was evaporating quickly and filling the room with an odd, murky haze._

_Coughing, both Gato and the scientist waited impatiently until the haze cleared. Soon, a young girl with tanned skin, amber eyes and blue hair could be seen lying slumped in the centre of the room. _

_*End Flash-back*_

Rurouni was snapped out of her reverie when she had to dodge a particularly difficult swipe from Momo, which tore open the incubator and dumped a truckload of green gunk on her head, and stumbled quickly out of the room and sprinted back up the corridor with Momo following behind yet again, impatience bubbling to the surface as he let out a particularly loud roar.

Kakashi and Gai were nowhere to be seen as Rurouni ran past the doorless room. Hopefully they got out okay.

The room labelled 352 was also empty, the door only half ajar as Rurouni and her giant, vicious ball of fluff shot past. One of Momo's claws caught the number 2 and sent it flying in Rurouni's direction, who was hit in the back of the head by it and sent sprawling to the ground.

She lay completely still as Momo stood above her, sniffing for her presence. Thankfully that green substance she was covered in seemed to be masking her scent, for now. Rurouni was about to sit up, when the number 2 caught her attention out of the corner of her eye.

_*Flash-back*_

_'Gato-san, why do you have such a funny name?' 352 asked, sitting cross-legged on her mattress and tilting her head curiously and the spectacled man._

_'What do you mean?' Gato raised barely glanced up from his newspaper. He really didn't want to be here. It had been three years since the experiment on 352 and the blue haired girl was now one of his best gladiators. He had to keep her loyal and sadly that meant spending time with the little brat._

_'Everyone else has a name like mine: 352, or 353 across the hall. Why do you have a silly name like Gato?' 353 laughed happily, not noticing or not taking any notice of the long drawn out sigh that left Gato's mouth._

_'I guess my mother just had a weird taste for names.' Gato muttered, watching as 352's face lit up in a grin._

_'Where's my mum, Gato? Or dad? I was talking to 353 yesterday, and he said everyone has parents. Where are mine?' she questioned._

_'I dunno. One of my scientists just found you in a basket under a tree in the woods.' Gato answered truthfully. _

_'So the tree's my mum? That's way better than having a dumb old person! Trees would be able to play longer.' 352 reasoned aloud._

_Gato almost smirked at the child's reasoning. In her mind, fighting was playing. It's the way he had brought her uo and taught her. In the past three years, she had killed too many other gladiators to count, and thoughtit was a game. She didn't understand the concept of murder. The only thing Gato had told her was that when she won in a game, the person who lost won't be allowed play with her again. The audience loved to see that, they thought 352 was the best thing since sliced bread! She carved people up like a butcher, and laughed afterwards saying she won the game. A true gladiator._

_Someone knocked on the door, and the sound rang throughout the small room. Finally. _

_'Sorry 352, I'm very busy and have to leave now. I'll come visit you again.' Gato excused himself and the minute he left the corridor outside and his footsteps could no longer be heard, 352 leaped to her feet and scuttled to the door._

_'353, are you awake?' she asked enthusiastically, jumping high and taking hold of the bars on the window of her door in her little fists, feet swinging in the good two foot distance between her and the ground._

_A grunt came as a reply and 353, a boy around two years older than 352 could be seen poking his head up to see out the window also. His eyes were a vibrant green and his hair the same colour as Momo's fur. 'I am now.' he replied, annoyed._

_*End Flash-back*_

Rurouni moved just as Momo caught a whiff of her scent and shot up the rest of the way towards the caged arena where she turned and faced the onbaa that began circling her immediately.

The electrified fence had been turned on again, and there was a metal net thrown over the top to prevent any escape. Keiko was sitting on a seat closest to the arena and a group of gladiators sat a few rows behind her, watching and waiting to see the outcome. Each of them were gaunt looking, and wouldn't survive going out into the world without shinobi to lead them. Starvation and fear had been the reason for this.

Momo lunged at Rurouni, who had been busy surveying the crowd and let out a light gasp as one of his claws nicked her skin unexpectantly. Thankfully she had dodged the worst of it and the cut in her arm was mostly superficial. She'd have to watch the bleeding though, the scent of blood would probably drive Momo wild.

A routine had begun where Mom simply kept attacking, and Rurouni kept dodging. She couldn't seem to find an open shot. At some stage she had been occupied with dodging the fangs that were trying to sink into her neck, when she was blind sided by Momo's left paw which backhanded her across her head. Rurouni's head started throbbing, and she began seeing stars.

_*Flash-back*_

_'What's killing?' 352 asked innocently, after being reprimanded by 353 for 'winning' against 154._

_'It's what happens when you beat someone. They die, and can't move or think or be themselves anymore. They aren't alive, that's why they'll never play with you again.' 353 scowled across the gap between their doors, as a look of horror dawned across 352's face. _

_352 had grown a lot now, she could see through the window to 353's room when she stood on her tippy toes. she didn't know how long it had been though, since she'd turned blue. And whenever she asked Gato-san what age she was he always replied with a different answer. He obviously didn't know. _

_'I-I'll just never win again! I'll make it a draw from now on!' 352 announced proudly, as 353 sighed at her._

_'Whatever you say. It'll be hard for you to not win if you keep using your water though.' 353 yawned and left the window, upon hearing footsteps approach down the corridor._

_'Then I'll just not use my water again too!' 352 fumed at him, but her expression turned to that of confusion as the door to her room swung open, with her along with it. Gato's assistant._

_'Time for a fight, 352. This is a big one, so you'd better do well.' he chided her as they left the gladiators' quarters for the arena._

_'Who's it against?' Rurouni gasped excitedly, all previous sadness more or less forgotten for now. A smirk._

_'Momo.' was the last thing 352 heard before being shoved out the door to face against the only other 'gladiator' who held equal status to her in the arena._

_*End Flash-back*_

That had been the last fight Rurouni had experienced as a gladiator. She had fought like an animal, but remembered 353's words before giving the 'final blow' after slashing Momo across the face with an ice spike. Instead Rurouni, or 352, had moulded a large body of water into the shape of a mallet, froze it, and walloped the onbaa over the head with it.

Keiko had nursed it back to health, but claimed it not well enough to fight anymore (a lie) and kept it as a pet. Rurouni had fled the Gallows soon after, not wanting to win anymore. It's not as if anyone had been strong enough to stop her, but a while after she had regretted not freeing more gladiators to come with her. Anger coursed through her,

Rurouni summoned a wave of water, thirteen feet high exactly, and swept it over the onbaa. It was now weighed down by sodden fur, and the wave had bashed him off the walls.

She hacked and slashed furiously at Momo, seething at her own mistakes. The water forming unidentifiable weapons as it cut through the large onbaa.

A scream for her to stop, she didn't listen. At least, not until Keiko had hobbled into the arena and stood between Rurouni and the injured Momo. She looked up, all of the gladiators had evacuated and both Kakashi and Gai were nowhere to be seen.

'Your friends are both waiting in Nami no Kuni for your arrival, please leave Momo. We promise to leave all of the gladiators out now.' Keiko pleaded as Rurouni allowed the water she had been holding in mid-air to lose shape and fall to the floor soundlessly. She couldn't believe she had lost control over something that had happened years ago, it wasn't like her.

'Thank you. I will leave you now.' Rurouni bowed stiffly despite her wounds and left the arena slowly, not wanting to be in that place any longer. Returning had not been something she had planned to that extent in the first place.

Rurouni left the old woman with the onbaa, feeling more than a little guilty that she had just seriously injured the last real friend the old bat had, but shook herself and reminded herself of all the gladiators that had suffered under them.

Rurouni left the Gallows as quickly as possible, taking to the trees to have quicker access to Nami no Kuni. In a way, she actually felt lighter now. Rurouni laughed at the absurdity of it all and increased her pace steadily, ignoring the woozy feeling spreading throughout her body due to loss of blood.

* * *

Seregunda: Wow, long chapter. I _am_ proud of what I wrote, but even I am kinda glad that bit's over. Sad stuff really isn't my thing, so now: on to the not-as-depressing-stuff!XD And remember, as I've said before, reviews attract plot bunnies!:)


	13. No, I want to be 'Shrimp!

Seregunda: I decided I'm going to say this here, seeing as the plot is getting more detailed, that if someone has any questions I will answer them within reason if it does not disrupt the story much!XD Don't worry, I will give a heads up if I can't answer yet either, thanks for the reviews every1!:D

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Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

* * *

Kakashi had been stupefied, but admitted that he had indeed known something was up as Rurouni had suspected. Gai had burst into a long speech about how her youth conquered all that had been laid before her. Rurouni truthfully only wanted to go to bed.

The two jounin had been fussing over her like mother hens since she had returned, insisting on hearing an explanation seeing as once they had escaped with the two gladiators from the doorless room Keiko had begun rambling on about how 352 had returned, and was going to kill Gato for his misdeeds. Obviously they saw that half of what she had been saying was simply the mindless babbling of an old woman, but with an undertone of truth.

And that had resulted in Rurouni sitting where she was half a day later. On a bed with the sky darkening outside in an inn with two eccentric jounin staring at her and one severely injured gladiator being nursed by the other in the room opposite their own.

'You were born and raised as a gladiator, that much I understand. What happened to turn you into a wanderer?' Gai frowned, clearly confused about how that worked.

'I'm guessing something happened during that last fight with Momo?' Kakashi always did have very good instincts. Rurouni would have to watch herself around him.

'You could say that...' she smiled wistfully. That had been one of the happiest and saddest days of her life.

_*Flashback*_

_352 stilled her hand suddenly after the onbaa fell to the ground, rolling around and clutching at it's eyes which were bleeding heavily. A futile attempt, but the raw fear on the onbaa's face is what made 352 stop and think, more so than her earlier statement to 353._

_'I win!' 352 declared, ignoring the booing that filled the Gallows from a blood crazed audience. It confused 352 to no end, however, when Gato pushed himself to his feet and marched as close to the electrified fence as he dared._

_'You don't win until the game ends. He's still moving, isn't he?' the portly man yelled, causing the blue haired girl below to flinch unwillingly. Not at the harshness of his tone, but the brutality of his words. It wasn't a game anymore, it never was. 352 saw that now, and was absolutely disgusted with herself that it took her so long to realise this. The responsibilities of the deaths, the pain, and the sadness of so many gladiators lay on her shoulders. _

_No, it wasn't her fault, not completely anyway. It was his. Four men in long white coats chose that moment to come onto the arena, sedate Momo, and drag him away. Probably down to the gladiators' quarters somehwere._

_Rurouni glared daggers at the man above her, who drew away from the fence nervously. As did the audience. They weren't stupid, they had been watching 352 fight for some time, they could tell when she was angry._

_Hatred coursed through every fibre of 352's being at that moment. And just as suddenly as it came, it left and what remained was a hollow pit in her stomach._

_'The gallows are a place where pirates are punished,' 352's voice sounded too childish for that situation, which for some reason made the audience even more terrified. 'I think, we should let the sea take them back.' a grin split 352's features and a crashing noise could be heard as the arena floor cracked and water bubbled to the surface, quickly filling the pit and flowing over the electric fence. The water charged with electricity and charred many members of the audience alive when it touched them._

_352 stood calmly on top of a pillar of water and watched with detatchment as Gato quickly found a wooden plank and stood on it. Too bad, he won the game. Rurouni couldn't help but think as she allowed the water to carry her out of the Gallows for the first time in her life. The sun blinded her momentarily as she blinked rapidly to adjust to the change. The colours were the first thing she noticed, although the mist was heavy she could still make out the vibrant green of the trees, and the tint of blue visible above the clouds in the sky._

_*End Flash-back*_

Rurouni was dragged out of her thoughts when somebody rapped smartly on the door of their room.

'It's me, 98. Can I come in for a minute?' a voice called from behind the door. Rurouni figred 98 must have been the less injured of the two gladiators who were attacked by Momo.

'Come in, my youthful friend! To be up and about already in your condition is most admirable!' Gai leaped to his feet and threw the door open to reveal a less-than-amused man in his fifties. He had tight, crew-cut grey hair and muscles bulged on his arms. His eyes were a forest green, and he was roughly the same height as Gai, Rurouni noted as the man, 98, pushed past the beast of Konoha and made straight for Kakashi. Again, Rurouni felt more than a little insulted. Nobody ever assumed she was the leader. Even though she wasn't.

98 dropped to his knees in a formal bow and inclined his head towards Kakashi, who seemed more than a little surprised by the sudden show of formality. 'Now, now. No need for that!' Kakashi scratched the back of his head in embarrassment as the older man stood up slowly.

'My son and I... we owe you both our lives and freedom. We were captured years ago by rogue ninja hired by Gato and forced to fight day in and day out. I used to be a weaponsmith before, I can be of service to you.' the man spoke in a blunt no-nonsense way. He simply stated what he thought and waited for the responses from the two jounin, and ignored Rurouni completely.

'Your son is the man who was injured badly by the onbaa, correct?' Kakashi deduced, and 98 gave a curt nod.

'He is recovering quickly, thanks to the treatment you ninja hired for him. We are deeply in your debt.' 98 bowed again. Seriously, this guy must have been raised by some strict parents to have such polite mannerisms.

'What is your real name? I take it you were born outside the Gallows, seeing as they are not all that old.' Gai asked curiously.

'I am Asao. Forgive my impudence, but what are your names?' the man asked, finally raising his eyes to meet their gaze.

'I am Hatake Kakashi, this is Might Gai and this is... we call her Rurouni.' Kakashi ended, clearly confused as to what he should call her at this point.

Asao raised an eyebrow at this, but bowed again anyway. 'My son's name is Hiro, we are at your service.' the middle-aged man straightened up and glanced over his shoulder at the open door where his son's room was.

'You can leave to check on your son if you want.' Kakashi said amusedly, and all three Konoha shinobi watched as the man mumbled his thanks and lumbered out of the room.

'He seems like a nice man.' Rurouni stated and settled back onto the bed again, ignoring the sharp look Kakashi sent her way.

'She didn't notice then...' he muttered under his breath, too low for anyone else to hear him.

'That man, Asao, he recognised you Rurouni. Every once in a while he kept double-checking your appearance and then looking back at his son's room. Do you know him?' Kakashi asked, needing to be sure.

'Nope, I'm 352. 98 is way too far down the corridor for me to ever speak to him. Maybe he saw me fight once or something.' Rurouni shrugged easily, not wanting to concentrate on anything for a while. She was too tired. Kakashi still looked sceptical, but decided to drop it as the blue haired girl was obviously getting really tired. And they would be leaving Nami no Kuni in the morning, no point in complicating things.

'You never did tell us how you took to wandering.' Gai said aloud, finally realising something.

'Then what the hell did I tell you ten minutes ago?!' Rurouni groaned from her single bed as Gai chose to settle on the bed next to her's, and Kakashi in the one next to that.

'You told us you escaped after fighting Momo. Not how you took to wandering.' Kakashi chimed, joining the conversation with his increasingly annoying quick wit.

'Ever think I might have just decided to move after leaving the Gallows?' Rurouni whined, now realising sleep was getting further away.

When both jounin shook their heads, smirks in place, Rrouni sighed and thought of the best way to explain this...

_*Flash-back*_

_'Get her, Gato needs that gaki in her cell by the end of the week! They've got massive bets on her next fight!' a man, around chuunin level, yelled as 352 was chased through Nami no Kuni. She had only escaped the day prior to this, and already Gato was sending out search parties. Even the villagers were getting threatened into helping by now. Thankfully the village was surprisingly close to the Gallows and 352 had found it quite easily._

_She ran, not turning to fight. If she fought, she would win the game. And that was bad, really bad._

_So that meant running, occasionally summoning up some water to make the path slippier behind her or just tripping up the rogue ninja with tendrils of water charged with chakra,_

_That is, until she ran into a wall, or what felt like one._

_'What's wrong with you, shrimp?' a rough, gravelly voice interrogated her, and lifted 352 up by the scruff of the neck. She couldn't help but notice that the men chasing her had stopped and were staring, horrified at the man who had picked her up off the ground and placed her back on her feet surprisingly gently._

_'I won the game, a lot. A mean man wants me back so I'll keep winning.' 352 explained, watching as the man's blue skin creased into a frown. He had no clue what this kid got herself into, but it sounded shady. Besides, it wasn't every day someone didn't run away from a seven foot man who looked like a shark._

_Kisame took Samehada off his back slowly, grinning as the opposition flinched away knowingly, and one by one began to run in the opposite direction. That had been the more normal reaction, Kisame mused, ever since he defected from Kirigakure less than a fortnight ago. Without the Mizukage to boss him around anymore he could do what he wanted, which terrified the living shit out of everyone else. Kisame chuckled darkly and was about to turn away when he noticed the same little girl looking up at him in amazement._

_'You didn't even have to win the game, they just ran away!' she squealed delightedly and hugged the large shark-man, who jumped in surprise. So much for everyone being terrified of him, he mused as he looked down at the shrimp of a girl who only came up to his hip._

_'Go away kid, I'm a lot scarier than those shinobi.' Kisame sighed, and a vision of his ex-wife being torn apart by Samehada entered his mind. _

_'Why?' she queried, genuinely interested. Kisame snarled._

_'I'm Hoshigaki Kisame, you gaki!' he snapped._

_'That's nice.' 352 smiled sweetly, not understanding what the name implied. Kisame was literally dumb struck. Every person in the Land of Water knew who he was at the moment, no matter the age. And this kid had to be around nine! She should definitely know who he was, damnit!_

_'What do I look like?' Kisame said with exaggerated patience and began walking, seething when he noticed the little girl still following him like a lost puppy._

_'The fish I ate for dinner three days ago.' 352 answered sadly. Poor Kisa-san, he must have had a lot of bullies trying to eat him when he was younger. He's lucky he grew so big now!_

_Kisame groaned, this was going in the completely wrong direction for him._

_'I'm bluefor kami's sake, that's not normal, now go away gaki!' he snapped, only turning to look curiously over his shoulder when the little girl paused in the middle of the road and looked up at him, tears welling in her eyes._

_'W-what's wrong w-with b-blue?' her amber eyes saddened and Kisame panicked. The little brat had blue hair! Now he felt guilty... he was fine with fighting, but it just wasn't in his nature to be mean to little children, let alone girls._

_'Nothings wrong with blue. Now stand up and help me find your parents.' Kisame sighed and used his superior height to check the street for anyone that could look like the little pain in the ass. Not a strand of blue hair on anyone's head, except for the girl's and his own._

_Kisame scowled upon hearing a comment coming from a lady in the store as he passed by with the brat, something about him being the little demon's father or some such thing. He wasn't even old enough to have a daughter her age! He suddenly felt an immeasureable urge to die his hair any colour but blue. 'I don't have any parents.' the little girl answered, causing Kisame to look again at the girl._

_The clothes she wore werequite ragged... And she was covered in dirt too. Even the shade of blue in her hair was a couple of shades too dark from grime. Kisame groaned, feeling something tuggin on his sleeve._

_'Kisa-san, I can fight too. Can I come?' she implored, silently begging. Kisame couldn't believe he was actually considering it._

_'What's your name, shrimp?' he sighed reluctantly, not truly knowing what he was taking on board. If only that gold-digger bitch of an ex-wife could see him now._

_'352's my name.' she replied. Kisame rolled his eyes._

_'That's not a name, it's a number. Tell me your name.' he repeated slowly, as if she had mental issues._

_'It's the only name I have.' 352 frowned._

_'Pick a new one, I'm not going to call you 352.' Kisame grunted as they continued walking through the town, ignoring the stares._

_'You called me 'Shrimp', that can be my name!' the blue haired girl smiled sweetly and Kisame almost did a doubletake. This girl must have lived under a rock her whole life or something._

_'That is not your new name. We'll be travelling a lot and I'll probably have to say I'm your father a couple of times. I am not going to explain to anyone why I called you shrimp.' Kisame said decidedly._

_'If you don't like it, why don't you pick one Kisa-san?'_

_'Leave me alone, shrimp.'_

_'Okay, shrimp's my new name now, you used it again!'_

_'No way in hell! Okay, okay, what about... Hana?' Kisame offered, spotting a daffodil on the windowsill of a house they passed by._

_'No. It's not a cool name, I want something that sounds cool!' the girl declared._

_'And yet you want the name Shrimp... What about Neko?' a cat passed by._

_'Too fluffy.'_

_'For the love of...' an idea suddenly came into Kisame's head. 'Your name is Rurouni from now on, okay? It means wanderer, which is what we're gonna be doing. That okay?' Kisame nearly sighed in relief as the girl nodded happily in acceptance of her name, unknown to the pair, Gato's hired help were giving a detailed description of the two to the authorities._

_'She fights like a wildcat! She doesn't have a name so just call her that!' one of the chuunin level fighters wailed. An eyebrow was raised, but the name was recorded in the bingo book. Wildcat: current partner of a Hoshigaki Kisame._

_*End Flash-back*_

'Two names in one day, and three names in total. How do you keep track of them all?' Kakashi joked, pulling the sheets up over the bottom half of his face before taking his mask off.

'Kisame sounds like a man I would like to fight!' Gai announced proudly, not looking ready to go to bed any time soon. If he didn't settle down soon, Rurouni could garauntee she'd knock him out within the next ten minutes.

'Goodnight Kakashi, Gai.' Rurouni cut him off mid-ramble pointedly and switched the light off. They would have to get up early in the morning if they wanted to get to Konoha on time.

'Youth is a powerful thing indee-'

'GOOD NIGHT GAI!' both Rurouni and Kakashi shot up and glared at the man until he quieted down before wriggling back beneath the sheets, now confident that the 'green booger' would shut up for the rest of the night.

* * *

Seregunda: All those flash-backs were making me dizzy for a while there... But no more for a while, and back to Konoha!XD


	14. The ugliest art ever

Seregunda: Aaannnddd I'm back again!XD I've been updating like mad recently, I hope this keeps up! R&R plz!:)

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Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

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The next morning, Rurouni had been given orders to return to Konoha sooner than the elder shinobi. Tsunade had probably caught wind of the happenings in Nami no Kuni and wanted someone to return faster than the original party while the other two tended to Asao and Hiro while they travelled back to the village. Tsunade wanted eye witnesses and those two gladiators were good unbiased examples. At least that was the best reason Kakashi could come up with.

In short, this was the reason as to why Rurouni was standing at the gates of Konoha, glaring down Izumo and Kotetsu, sweaty and breathless. Rurouni had run without pause from Nami no Kuni, and Izumo chose _now_ to get his revenge for the exam _two and a half _years ago? It goes to show, even the people who would seem like the serious type have their moments.

'Hm, you know what 'Rurouni', we haven't been warned of any mission returns today. And I don't quite think I can remember you.' he drawled as Kotetsu sniggered behind his white bandage. If he kept this up, Rurouni would give the two chuunins perfectly liable reasons to cover themselves from head to toe in bandages.

'For the love of... How the hell can you forget someone with blue hair?!' Rurouni growled, slamming her fist down on the desk the two sat behind. Was it her fault she enjoyed seeing the itsy bitsy flash of fear in their eyes when she finally got angry? Probably, but Rurouni never claimed to be a saint.

'J-ust go through...' the two chuunin muttered in unison, Kotetsu staring up at the sky and Izumo scratching his neck sheepishly.

'_Arigato._' Rurouni bowed with obviously forced politeness and grinned at the gatekeepers before running for it before they could protest further. The sound of Kotetsu laughing after her dispelled that idea, but she kept going anyway.

Familiar faces flashed by on her brief sprint, but she never bothered stopping for chit-chat, that could be done later when Tsunade isn't sitting in her office waiting for her arrival.

* * *

It was funny in a way, Rurouni supposed. In some kind of twisted sense.

For the second time in her life, the blue haired girl was standing before a drunk Gondaime with chakra-draining shackles around her wrists and ankles. Except this time, Rurouni could genuinely say she had no idea why.

Shizune, sensing the girl's discomfort, sighed and snatched the sake from under Tsunade's nose. Surprisingly enough, this act seemed like enough to sober her up enough to explain what was happening.

'Rurouni, you claimed you were quite close to some of the Akatsuki members. Those being Kisame, Hidan and Deidara, correct?' Tsunade laced her fingers together on the table comfortably, peering at Rurouni critically from across the room who was currently accompanied by an ANBU member flanked on either side of her. Tsunade knew those two weren't enough to guarantee anyone's safety if Wildcat turned rogue, but hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

'Yup. Kisame's my sensei and the other two are my best friends.' Rurouni nodded, not bothering to deny anything. It would only make her seem more suspicious, and she was interested in where this was going.

'Sensei? You failed to mention that in our previous talk. You said you simply knew him.' Tsunade raised a slender eyebrow.

'But I do know him. Really well.' Rurouni beamed. Tsunade simply sighed at the girl's logic. There was no point in arguing with her on some topics, mentally she was the equivalent of a ten year old in most aspects. That being, no matter how wrong she was, she often convinced herself she's right.

'Whatever, are you aware of Deidara's most recent activities?' Tsunade seemed to hint, as if this should be enough to spark some kind of dark secret stored deep in the abyss of her mind.

'I haven't seen him face to face since I joined up with Konoha, I've kept in contact with him through his clay birds carrying messages though. He never discloses Akatsuki information through those in case they're intercepted though, so I have no clue about any Akatsuki business he's been involved in. Just the personal stuff.' Rurouni yawned and began fidgeting with the shackles. They were starting to itch.

'Would you like to hear what he's been up to?' Tsunade asked, voice dangerously low. Rurouni, not getting where this was going, nodded innocently.

'HE JUST KILLED THE GODDAMN KAZEKAGE! If Chiyo hadn't been there, I genuinely don't know what we'd do. Your affiliation with the Akatsuki is dangerous for Konoha, we could have been blamed for it!' Tsunade screeched, gripping the table so hard it began to splinter.

Rurouni froze for a moment before something clicked in the back of her mind.

'I don't know what the Akatsuki are up to, as a matter of fact I've struck a deal with them saying that I won't ask for confidential info from them if they don't ask about Konoha, but did it have anything to do with a... what was the word... Jin...churros?' Rurouni tried to recall something Hidan had said he couldn't find before and Pein was going to have his hide.

'Jinchuriki. And yes, their Kazekage had the Ichibi inside him until they had it extracted.' Tsunade leaned over the table, searching Rurouni's face for any sign of recognition.

'You genuinely have no idea what is going on, do you?' Tsunade asked slowly, sitting back in her chair in wonder. To think the girl who was practically an honorary Akatsuki member, student to one of their members, and who had been living with Naruto had no idea what a jinchuriki was... It was almost unbelievable.

Rurouni was simply confused, and one look at Tsunade confirmed the lurking thought at the back of her mind that no, a jinchuriki was not a type of churro. And for some reason it had tails, like the ichibi.

'What the hell have Ichiraku been putting in their ramen?' Rurouni asked, getting the completely wrong idea.

Rurouni could almost see the veins throb in Tsunade's forehead. 'Itachi, Shisui get her out of here. She knows nothing.' the Gondaime muttered through gritted teeth.

Rurouni finally took a good look at the two masked ANBU that had been flanking her since her arrival. One with long black hair pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, roughly the same height as herself, and the other with short black almost naruto-ish hair a couple of inches taller than the latter.

'Shisui-kun! Mongoose!' Rurouni cried happily, and spread her arms, barely noticing the sound of metal wrenching apart. Or the disbelieving, resigned looks she was getting from Tsunade.

'If it was so easy for you to tear those cuffs off, why the hell did you leave them on?' Tsunade hissed as Rurouni picked the destroyed shackles up off the floor.

'You wanted me to wear them.' Rurouni answered simply, as the ANBU with short hair began laughing uncontrollably and took off his mask, revealing onyx eyes twinkling with mischief.

'Great to see you, Rurouni-chan. You grew again, geeze aren't you tall enough?' Shisui joked, slinging an arm around the water-user playfully.

'Nah, I grew this much within the first year. I haven't grown even a centimetre in a year and a half. This is as tall as I'm gonna get.' Rurouni beamed at the elder Uchiha, only realising now how much she had missed his easygoing demeanour.

'Good, you're the same height as most men as it is.' Itachi stated, pulling off his own mask. Rurouni was happy to see he hadn't grown at all since she had last seen him. They were pretty much the same height now, Itachi had about a centimetre on her though. He looked kind of pissed, clearly the lack of growth for him was annoying. Male pride was a funny thing to crush. Even if it was for no reason, it's not as if Itachi qualified as 'short'. Rurouni was just tall, but thank kami she stopped growing before she got much taller.

'It's hardly my fault you're a midget. Get over it.' Rurouni bickered back. If looks could kill, Rurouni would be sizzling on the floor right now. And so would Shisui, who was laughing so hard he couldn't even notice Itachi's glare. That, or after all these years he was probably immune by now.

'Get out of my office before you give me the worst headache of my life. Oh, and Rurouni, Naruto should be back from Suna within a few days so don't get used to your empty apartment.' Tsunade smiled before, as kindly and gently as was humanely possible of course, kicking them out of her office. Via the window. Such a kind woman, but it was worth it to see Mongoose's face afterwards. Clearly not the kind of dignified exit he was used to, and she had only been in the village an hour!

'Haha, not even a day back and we're kicked out of the office like the old days! It's great to have you back!' Shisui guffawed as he picked himself up out of the bush he had fallen into, and offered Rurouni a hand up. Itachi simply picked himself up off the floor and stood prim and proper as if it had never happened. Or maybe, in Itachi's mind, it never did. And he was already erasing it from his memory, it was possible, he _is _an Uchiha after all.

'Probably set some kind of record. Kakashi and Gai will be back from our last mission soon, I'm so not looking forward to the screaming I'm in for after she gets the mission report! It's not like it'll even be late in, Gai is there after all.' Rurouni groaned as she dusted herself off and stretched her back out. For a fifty year old woman, Tsunade had some kick.

'Something bad happen? Did you fail or something?' Shisui asked with interest, even Itachi seemed as if he was listening now as the three began walking back towards the village.

'No, the mission was a success. Just some stuff dug up that I would have liked to stay buried. I've got a feeling those chakra shackles will be back on my wrists in no time.' Rurouni sighed, rotating her wrists pitifully. She didn't like wearing those things.

'What did you do?' This time it was Itachi that spoke up.

'You'll find out soon enough, trust me.' Rurouni chuckled as they came to a fork in the road. The nosy cousins went one way, while Rurouni went the other. Of course, just as Rurouni felt as if she had been forgiven, Itachi shot a glare over his shoulder at her. Clearly Izumo wasn't the only one harbouring grudges since the exams. Oh well, Mongoose never did like her much in the first place so at least it wasn't that much of an adjustment.

* * *

The apartment was cleaner than Rurouni had left it. To be honest, she had been expecting it to be filled with dust and empty ramen cartons seeing as it had been Naruto who had been living here. But, surprisingly there wasn't a speck of dirt anywhere. There was still the problem of that bed that took up her whole living room, but at least it was Naruto's bed.

Rurouni lay back on Naruto's bed thoughtfully, earlier today could not have been more of a surprise to her.

Deidara killing the Kazekage? He was probably the most sane of the whole Akatsuki, after Kisame, but Rurouni still got chills thinking about it.

The same man that had reassured her that it was alright if she called him 'Dei-chan' if she _really _wanted to. The man who helped her pull pranks on the rest of the Akatsuki, like when they replaced Kisame's shower gel with grape juice and he came out purple. Deidara was, along with Hidan, her best friend. She wasn't used to thinking of him as a criminal. Even though he constantly reminded her he was, because he used to always complain that she treated him like a sister more than anything else.

Deidara killed the Kazekage. Deidara _killed _the Kazekage. Dei-chan killed the Kazekage. It just didn't sound right. Even if he was a terrorist bomber, he had explicitly told her he never killed if he didn't have to. But then, at that time, he had only recently been pressed into the Akatsuki. Not everyone is as strong as Kisa-sensei and able to retain their personality even after joining a group like the Akatsuki. Maybe Dei-chan has changed, for better or worse he is strong enough to kill a Kazekage now. He definitely wouldn't have been able to do that three years ago.

Rurouni rubbed her eyes and stood up. Naruto's scent was beginning to make her feel sleepy. She ambled into her bedroom and flung the window open.

It was dark now, another day had passed by without her even noticing. But then again, Rurouni's concept of time had always been off.

She could see the whole village from her window, the apartments might be cheap and almost uninhabitable but the view was worth it completely. Even now that Rurouni had enough money to move if she wanted to, she wouldn't.

To amuse herself, Rurouni began pointing out places in the village she could recognise from the window. Ichiraku's, the training area, the barbecue restaraunt, the Hyuuga compound, the Uchiha compound, and... Rurouni was cut off suddenly by something white and mushy flapping in front of her face.

A bird. Made of clay. At least she hoped it was a bird, considering it more likely than not came from Deidara it looked seriously deformed. Wings were barely air worthy, the head was a shapeless lump, and the feet... were missing and only stumps remained. There were no interceptions either, otherwise it would have blown up. No signs of a struggle either, just sloppy artwork. Which was not like Deidara. What the hell happened him?

Rurouni pulled a note from one of it's stumps and doused the statue in water to prevent the explosion Deidara had probably intended on happening.

The note was comprised mostly of unintelligible scribbles, and only two words of the whole note were comprehensible at first glance. It took a while for Rurouni to decode it, but when Rurouni did she almost burst out laughing.

_Hey Rurouni,_

_Deidara here. Don't blame me for the way the bloody bird looks, it's that damn Ichibi and Kakashi's fault (They tore off my arms). So I'm writing this with a pen in my mouth, and I had to make the bird using my mouth too. Thank kami the mouths on my hands had no tastebuds, explosive clay may be artistic but it's not for eating._

_Tobi found my arms, and he's currently dragging me back to the base to have Kakuzu reattatch them. I'm writing to you to avoid talking to him, and to actually (kind of) tell you what happened._

_Konoha thinks I'm dead, basically. I 'blew myself up' using a dummy, and you can guess the rest. So don't panic if someone tells you I'm dead, and just roll with it okay?_

_Hidan told me to give a letter to you from him too. But I'm not going to bother, not until he learns some manners anyway. I'm not a girl damnit!_

_See you, _

_Deidara._

Rurouni grinned upon reading the letter again, scrambled around the apartment for another scrap of paper, and wrote a response. Rurouni then snatched the deformed bird from the windowsill and roughly tied the letter on it's leg and tossed it out into the air, only half-caring if it can still fly or not. No matter what that guy does, he'll always be Dei-chan after all.


	15. Don't diss the labrats

Seregunda: Typical. I was happy about updating quickly... then I don't anymore!T^T Sorry for the long wait, but I'm on a french exchange so I got an excuse, I'm updating from france people!:) so on with the story!^-^

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Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

* * *

Rurouni couldn't help but stare at the two idiots that had dared to grace her doorstep at seven thirty in the morning, wondering if they were actually serious or if this was just a cruel dream. The stare turned sour, however, the longer she stared through the crack she had opened the door.

'Hehe... surprise?' Shisui scratched the back of his head sheepishly, avoiding the murderous glare that Rurouni was sending his way. Itachi hardened his gaze at the blue haired girl, who had yet to say anything, she always seemed to be at the source of all trouble in the village. Involving himself anyway.

'I come back after two and a half years. I finally get to sleep in a proper bed. And _you two_think it's a good idea to wake me up?!' Rurouni snarled, not enjoying the situation a bit.

'Not my fault! Mikoto wants to talk to you, said something about a deal you made last year and that her paying you back is real important... or something. Said to get you right away.' Shisui beamed, blissfully choosing to ignore all signs of danger.

Rurouni paused for a moment, anger forgotten, and blinked balefully at the taller Uchihaon her doorstep. 'Do I really have to? Every time I talk to your Aunt something awful happens...' Rurouni whined, shrinking back from the doorway dismally. Mikoto never meant good news, the only time that woman spoke to her was when she wanted something. And usually that *something* was nearly impossible to get.

Shisui seemed taken-aback for a minute before interjecting with his opinion. 'Ne, what do you think my aunt is? Some kinda Shinigami? She's not even a ninja anymore, no need to be scared of her.' Shisui laughed, and both Rurouni and Itachi blanched visibly at the taller Uchiha's stupidity. That boy was possibly the only person in existence that never saw through Mikoto's mask. Not that what as underneath that mask _was _some kind of demon. Just a more evil version of Mikoto that those demons would probably run in terror from.

'Come on in, I'll just get changed. Ignore the bed, it's Naruto's.' Rurouni threw the door open with a sigh and revealed everything that was hiding behind. Everything.

'U-um... S-so Naruto s-s-stays w-with y-you, huh?' Shisui's voice sounded as if it had gone up a whole octave, and there was no way it was the bed taking up the living room that Itachi was staring at.

'Yup, I told'ja that before. Twice, if I remember right.' Rurouni rolled her eyes at the two cousins, it was a good thing those two were living in Konoha and not in Naminata, a small town to the west of Suna on the coastline. It was so hot all day round over there, the girls practically wore bikini's all day every day out of necessity.

Rurouni caught a glance of herself in the hall mirror as she walked into her bedroom. Then again, this definitely wasn't Naminata. Girl's generally didn't wear tank tops two inches too short and flimsy khaki shorts to bed here in Konoha. Hm, they had been a lot bigger before Rurouni had left for the two years... the shorts were manageable but the top probably was a bit too much for the two gaping idiots she had left in her livingroom.

* * *

'Rurouni, you look terrific! Those two years have done you the world of good!' Mikoto greeted the blue-haired girl warmly as she and the two cousins stepped into the main branch's kitchen.

Rurouni was slightly creeped out by the overly superficial hug given to her by the older woman, especially when the words, 'Excellent job, I've never seen him in that state before or after the mission.' were whispered into her ear before she was released again.

'Okaa-san, are you finished with us two now?' Itachi spoke for the first time since he had appeared on Rurouni's doorstep. His voice was every bit as flowing as she remembered, not as deep or husky as some but smooth and even instead.

'Yes, thank you Itachi-kun.' Mikoto smiled delicately at her eldest son as he bowed and turned to exit the room with Shisui in tow.

'Yup, thanks Mongoose!' Rurouni called jeeringly after Itachi, whose shudder was barely visible, but still there, at the familiar call of that dreaded nickname. Needless to say, the two cousins' exit was swift and hasty: Itachi to escape the blue-haired menace, and Shisui to escape Itachi who was not impressed when the taller boy burst out laughing at the cerulean-haired girl's words.

'Must you tease him like that? I don't think he enjoys it.' Mikoto sighed scoldingly at the younger girl, whose eyes widened at her words.

'Um... That's kinda why I do it.' Rurouni answered blatantly. Mikoto seemed to have something to say, but held herself back and placed another fake smile on her face just in time to, almost, cover the twitch developing in her temple.

'I brought you here today to thank you for your help before, I am grateful, and I hope you know that.' Mikoto stated, but for some reason it sounded to Rurouni as if...

'But I want to call on your services once again.' ...as if it was just the start of another request.

Rurouni was fully aware of the fact her face dropped, eyes widened, and the crocodile tears were preparing themselves in case she needed some sort of defence. Wasn't the last time good enough for her when Rurouni practically mauled onto her eldest son? What sort of mother _does_that? Usually, from what Rurouni could tell, most mothers were perfectly happy if their son's were top of the class in the Academy, handsome, smart and now an ANBU captain at the age of twenty one! What was wrong with the woman, the guy's doing fine by himself so she should leave him be!

Sadly, the influence of the Uchiha clan was a valuable asset. Even to someone as frivolous as Rurouni herself. Clenching her teeth, Rurouni braced herself and asked the dreaded question.

'I'm free for a while, what do you want me to do?' the look of joy on Mikoto's face only served to drop Rurouni's spirits further into the pit they had already shrunk into.

'This time it's about Sasuke...' Mikoto bit her lip worriedly, but Rurouni went through both a stage of delight that Itachi was being left out of this one and a stage of shock at what it appeared Mikoto was insinuating.

'Oh hell no, I'm a lot of things, but I ain't no pedophile!' Rurouni protested loudly, scrambling to her feet. The last image of Sasuke two and a half years ago playing through her head. Obviously he'd be a bit older now... but it was still not right!

'What are you... Oh that's not what I'm saying at all!' Mikoto laughed, putting two and two together and finally understanding what had Rurouni so wound up.

'So... what is it then?' Rurouni settled back down into the seat sheepishly, embarassed deeply.

'I should have been more specific... it's really more about a friend of Sasuke's. While Naruto was training with that sannin, team 7 took on different training partners and the like. Sakura is now the Gondaime's apprentice, and Sasuke is with a totally new group under the tutelage of Kakashi.' Mikoto explained in a bit more detail.

'So... this mission is going to be about one of Sasuke's new team mates?' Rurouni realised, leaning forward eagerly. Now that Mikoto had established that there was no sexual problems with this mission, Rurouni was mildly interested in what the issue actually was.

'Yes. Well, two of them really. One has major temper issues so we're not really expecting you to be able to do much for him. Just some sort of basic relaxing technique the village wouldn't already have utilisation of. Please, he keeps destroying all the plants in front of the house, and furniture inside the house. That's all I ask for him.' Mikoto pleaded. Rurouni nodded simply, she knew plenty of those things. Kisame taught them to her, and said that little shrimps needed to stay calm if they were going to survive in the same ocean as the big sharks.

'The second has a deep affinity with water, like you, but his control isn't so good yet. The koi fish in the front fountain have been traumatised by him and the amount of times he's blown up the bathroom sink by accident is uncountable.' the older woman sighed as Rurouni's face lit up. This request might be difficult for most other people, but both of these problems were right up her alley.

'Oh, and one more thing.' Mikoto called out as Rurouni stood up again. The younger girl locked eyes with her to show she was listening.

'The entirety of Sasuke's new team were liberated from Orochimaru's experimentational labs, so there are certain topics rather left out of the conversations between those two. They are nice people really, when you get to know them. Just... don't press certain buttons. Okay?' Mikoto implored gently. For once, Rurouni could feel a vibe of seriousness in the air. Something she herself wasn't all too fond of.

'Kay, I won't diss the lab rats.' Rurouni winked, and dodged the kunai thrown in her direction.

'Their names are Juugo and Suigetsu. Remember it!' Mikoto growled as Rurouni waved a hand half-heartedly in Mikoto's direction before exiting the Uchiha compound quickly, a string of curses echoing after her.

* * *

Weird was a pretty good word to describe what was going on in the Akatsuki base. Chaos was another.

A man in an orange mask was running through the halls screaming 'TOBI IS A GOOD BOY, DON'T HURT TOBI!' while a man with silver hair and magenta eyes chased after him swinging a giant scythe screaming bloody murder at him. A silver pendant hung from the orange-masked man's hand where, usually, a circle containing a triangle hung from a chain. Not it resembled a misshapen oblong rectangle with a pair of antennae.

'GIVE THAT BACK YOU F****NG MOTHER-F****R!!! I'LL RIP YOUR F****NG INTESTINES OUT FOR JASHIN-SAMA!!!' the larger man roared, narrowly missing the man in the orange mask by centimetres. A few strands of hair even fluttered to the floor.

'T-TOBI IS A GOOD BOY, TOBI DIDN'T MEAN TO PUT YOUR ROSARY IN THE OVEN!!! AND STOP SAYING BAD WORDS!!!' the victim howled, still running for their life.

Long spews of profanity, screams of pain, and 'Tobi is a good boy' followed this, but there was one thing for certain after all that. Every member of the Akatsuki had a collective headache.

'My head's throbbing, un. And my arms...' Deidara whined, sprawled across one of the couches of the Akatsuki's living room.

'Stop your f****ng whining, losing a couple of f****ng arms isn't so bad, you even got them reattatched! I lost my arms loads of times. And my legs. A couple of shitty vital organs. Oh, and my head once or twice too.' Hidan dismissed the blonde's pain easily, being the only Akatsuki member without a throbbing head seeing as he was the idiot making all the noise.

'Yeah. But you're immortal, un. You know nothing bad's gonna happen you, un.' Deidara argued back, completely half-assed. He was too tired to bother with Hidan right now.

Even the other Akatsuki members present in the room, Sasori, Kakuzu, a severely bandaged Tobi, Kisame and Daisuke were just sort of staring at the TV like zombies.

The pointless bickering lasted about two minutes before a dull _flomp_ noise grabbed their attention from above Deidara's head on the couch, glancing up briefly, Deidara winced upon seeing that his shoddy handiwork had returned. At least it returned with Rurouni's letter though, at least even if that was the ugliest bird in existence it was still efficient.

Deidara murmured a low 'Katsu', and the bird blew up with a light bang in the middle of the living room. Because of the shoddy artwork, the effect was more like that of a firecracker than a bomb and instead of the usual roars of anger at expressing his artistic vision indoors, Deidara simply acquired a few glares due to the slight noise.

He unrolled the letter eagerly, tearing off the string and drinking in his blue-haired friend's words.

_Hi Dei-chan!_

_Great to hear from you, even if it is just to tell me your not dead. You could have at least made an effort to put something a little... happier or something in there too. Thanks for the warning anyway, I just caught sight of someone taking down one of your wanted posters in Konoha earlier, that would've given me a heart attack!_

_I hope all's good on your end- the health and stuff, not stalking and capturing people part- and that Tobi isn't getting on your nerves too much. He's a cutie really, learn to put up with him!_

_Next time do try and stick a letter from Hidan in too, I know he shouldn't keep calling you a girl, tranny or Barbie but he's still my friend too! And I wanna make sure Kakuzu hasn't actually figured out a way to kill him properly yet, if anyone can do it that man can._

_Tell everyone I say hi, and tell Kisame I ain't a shrimp anymore and now I'm the shark! I've got myself my own shrimp now!^-^_

_Love ya,_

_Rurouni._

Deidara chuckled as he finished the letter. It was nice to know she'd never change, or her opinions of them.

'You bastard! I told you I f****ng wanted to send her a f****ng letter too!' Hidan screeched after glancing over the back of the couch at the scroll of paper in the blonde's hands and the whole room groaned. Here they go again.

* * *

Seregunda: Hope you all like the new chapter!:) Thanks to you guys who reviewed, don't worry I'm trying not to discontinue it, I know how annoying it is when you're reading something for a while and then find out it's discontinued! Hopefully I'll get the next chappie up quick!XD


	16. Even toleration comes in moderation

Seregunda: I'm back again!:) And to answer Dustland-Fairytale's question, Rurouniisn't taking Karin's place. Rurouni knows next to nothing when it comes to medical jutsu, so it didn't make much sense to me to make Rurouni tutor her... And I'm not a major fan of Karin's either, so the less the better really, cos the Karin fans of the world will gang up on me and I will probably regret it.T-T She's still gonna be mentioned though! Thanks for the reviews, and I'll try to update soon!XD

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Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Except Rurouni, and maybe one or two others. Tops.

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Being a kunoichirequired a lot of discipline, hard work and bucket loads of tolerance. More so than being a shinobi. Rurouni, however, is none of thesethings and has never had any training as a 'kunoichi' per ce. As a result, this whole 'training the lab rats' thing was getting a bit difficult. For one reason.

'SUIGETSU! GET OUT OF THE BLOODY FOUNTAIN BEFORE MIKOTO KILLS ME!!!' Rurouni screeched, pulling the white-haired boy out of the koi infested fountain along with half of it's contents. She let him hover mercilessly in the air while Juugo sat under a magnolia tree, balancing on the tips of kunai blades using chakra to prevent impaling himself.

It had been a week since Rurouni had taken up training 'her shrimps' as she called them, and she had determined two things: Juugo was the biggest sweetheart you would ever find and didn't deserve the berserker rage he was cursed with, and Suigetsu was the biggest pervert after Jiraiya she had ever come across. In short, training Juugo in different meditation techniques had almost been a pleasure. The tall orange-haired man was very compliant and amiable. Teaching Suigetsu had, thus far, been an absolute nightmare.

Rurouni'stwo shrimps had been given a place to stay in the main Uchiha household, along with one other member of their team, Karin, who Rurouni had only seen in passing. Apparently Karin majored as a medic nin and some kind of chakra sensing technique Rurouni had never heard of. In short, there was no way in hell Rurouni could teach that girl something she couldn't do herself.

'Hey sexy, why don't you join me in there? You wouldn't believe the kind of stuff you can do in water.' Suigetsu called suggestively, clearly not even caring that he was in the presence of someone who could control every move he made if they wanted to: considering his body was made up nearly completely of water.

'I think I'll pass. You'd just evaporate before we get to the good part anyway. Now try pulling water from the fountain again. _Without_merging with it or jumping in, please. Pull it out and forge a shape with it using your chakra.' Rurouni sighed, dropping the sixteen year old boy to his feet again. Four metres from the fountain, just in case.

Suigetsu was a confusing one alright. He was from Kirigakure, like Kisa-sensei. He had sharp teeth like Kisa-sensei. He walked the same as Kisa-sensei. Except he was nothing like Kisa-sensei. Mentally or colour-wise. Suigetsu had refused completely to learn anything from Rurouni for the first two days. Until he overheard Itachi speaking with Shisui, who had just heard Hoshigaki Kisame was her sensei. After that, he was the first to every training session by at least ten minutes and hit on Rurouni every five minutes.

Apparently her little shrimp wanted nothing more than to be one of the seven swordsmen of the mist, and Kisame was in his way or something like that. The kid already had Zabuza's sword, _Kubikiri Hocho,_strapped to his back, but for some reason Samehada was more appealing to him. Not that Rurouni could blame him, she personally found Zabuza's sword very boring. It didn't do anything.

*_Splash_* Suigetsu sloshed about three litres of water from the fountain onto the floor in an unimpressive attempt at completing Rurouni'sinstructions. He cast a disbelieving glance at his new sensei, who simply motioned at him to continue, before focusing his chakra into the water again.

Rurouni wasn't all that worried for her former sensei. This kid, although he does have some decent potential, he didn't have enough in him to get to Kisame's standard. Ever. A highly ranked jounin, maybe a low ANBU, but that's it.

'I finished my exercise Rurouni-sensei.' a deep, rumbling voice stated serenely, and Rurouni turned around to see Juugo standing at his full, very impressive, height underneath the magnolia tree. There were small birds perched on either of his shoulders, singing sweetly in his ear. A soft smile overcame Rurouni's face, without her even noticing.

'Of course, good work Juugo. I'll see you again tomorrow.' the tall boy lumbered away peacefully, talking to the birds in an undertone, and Rurouni turned her full attention to the flirtatious water user. Who has yet to show any improvement on moving water without becoming one with it.

After another hour, Rurouni decided they could finish up and was surprisingly pleased by the results. Before training started, Suigetsu could only slosh the water around harmlessly. Now he could hold it in a physical shape for three and a half seconds in mid-air before it came crashing down again. Still not very threatening, but it was progress all the same. And the damages that have occured in the Uchiha household have decreased reasonably since she had begun her training sessions. Granted, they still broke a lot of stuff, but it was less than before. It still counted, right?

Rurouni trudged back up to the front door where Mikoto was waiting for the usual daily briefing on how the training was going and gave a detailed account of what they had covered.

'Thank you, Rurouni! Fugakuwas considering kicking them out if they had gotten any worse.' Mikoto thanked the cerulean-haired girl graciously. She even threw in a bow for good measure.

'No problem, Juugo's a sweetie... and I'm tolerating Suigetsu.' Rurouni's smile cracked a bit at the last part. Being hit on constantly wasn't something she had been trained for in the Gallows. Kunoichi'shad it way worse than most shinobi.

Mikoto thanked Rurouni once more before ushering her down the path, saying it will get dark soon. Why that mattered, Rurouni didn't know. She was a trained fighter, anyone who tried to mug her was someone to be pitied afterwards. But in the end, Rurouni humoured the elder Uchiha and allowed herself to be walked to the gate of the main branch's compound and began her walk through the rest of the Uchiha compound by herself just as dusty white moths began to gather around the paper lanterns littering the side streets. Not dark yet, but still dusky.

'Rurouni! You forgot something!' someone called from behind, and as Rurouni turned she spotted two figures in ANBU uniform running towards her. Thankfully, before Rurouni could panic due to instinct, Shisui's voice called out from under the mask of the 'monkey' again.

'Hm? Oh thanks... what did I forget? I didn't bring anything.' Rurouni turned fully as Shisui pulled the mask up to the top of his head and beamed at her, holding a wicker basket forward. It looked suspiciously like that basket she had used to carry the belladonna in two and a half years prior.

'Mikoto asked me to give you this, they're pastries from the bakery Sasuke and Itachi's aunt own. I think they're my second cousins or something.' Shisui explained as Rurouni took the basket eagerly, enjoying the delicious smells wafting out tentatively.

'Share them with the loudmouth brat later, he should be home by now. They were due back today.' no doubt who owned that silky voice, Rurouni thought with a sigh as Itachi pulled his mask up over his head also. Rurouni genuinely would have preferred it if he kept the mask on, mouth shut and mystery intact. Even though his hair would probably have given him away eventually, the guy had better hair than most girls Rurouni knew.

'Naruto will probably love it, he'd eat in his sleep if he could.' Rurouni chuckled, lowering the basket to her side and turning to face Shisui simultaneously, ignoring Itachi. He had been getting on her nerves lately, before it used to be the other way around and she never really had an opinion of him. But now she could genuinely say she found him irritating.

The way he popped up whenever she was in a good mood and usually soiled it, he glared at her when her back was turned, she was aware of it. And the way she could never tell if he was serious when he insulted Naruto or not really bothered her. He... unsettled her would be a more accurate word. She could never tell what he was thinking, and it bothered her. Even poker faces like Kakashi's were easy enough for Rurouni to see through, but for some reason Itachi's face seemed completely blank to her. Up until the day she first held this wicker basket, she coud understand him so well it was scary. She knew exactly what buttons to push and when. But now... After the incident at the training grounds she can't make him out at all.

Rurouni supposed she saw so many expressions on his face that one day, she used them all up for the next few years.

'So, how's life in the ANBU going? Have I missed much?' Rurouni asked curiously, genuinely wishing to know. She hadn't received a call to duty yet so she had no clue what was going on in the squad.

'It's all good. They're thinking of bringing up some new recruits for your squad actually, and they're looking at the kid who made jounin this year: Neji Hyuuga. Since he's so young, I can see it going to someone else though. Hopefully someone with a bit more fun in 'em. After you left it was like ANBU became _way_too serious.' Shisui whined. Rurouni refrained from pointing out that the ANBUwas probably supposed to be like that in the first place. Itachi, however, did send a disbelieving look his cousin's way. Not that it was noticed of course.

'Sounds interesting, Tsunade says since I'm training my shrimps it could be a little longer till I rejoin the ANBU, so you think you can keep me posted?' Rurouni inquired, and received a firm nod from the taller Uchiha.

'You bet!' Shisui chirped, before suddenly glancing at a clock hanging on the inside of a store as they passed by.

'Shit, My Mum's gonna kill me! I promised I'd feed the iguana in the shed every day!' Shisui yelped, ignoring the looks of resigned confusion he received from his two companions before taking three steps backwards.

'Itachi, make sure she gets home alright. Mikoto always says don't let a lady walk home alone in the dark!' Shisui chided before rocketing off into the dimming light, leaving two bemused ninja behind him.

'Iguana?' Rurouni turned to Itachi, hoping he had made some kind of sense of what his hysterical cousin had said.

'Don't ask me. I don't have a clue what goes on in his head.' Itachi sighed before stuffing his hands in his pockets and walking on, clearly only half-caring whether Rurouni kept up or not.

Rurouni mentally berated herself two minutes later for not sending Itachi away with Shisui. It was too damn quiet! And why the hell shouldn't she walk home in the dark? She was probably the scariest thing in Konoha anyway. And she just knew Itachi was laughing at her discomfort in his head, enjoying her pain like the masochist he is. Well he wasn't exactly on Hidan's level of masochism, but still.

Rutouni and Itachi were passing the park now, about ten minutes from her apartment block. Rurouni shivered. The stories Naruto had come home with about this park were terrifying, granted he heard most of them from Kiba who only told them to scare the poor little jinchuriki witless, but still. Those stories of hauntings and murders seemed a lot more realistic in the dark when you were with a guy who wouldn't so much as piss on you if you were on fire.

Rurouni unconsciously sped up a little to walk in step with Itachi anyway. Even he was better company than none at all.

'What's wrong? You're acting like a gennin.' Itachi glanced sideways, but shut his mouth when he realised Rurouni was in fact staring at some graffiti a kid that was probably high on drugs had scrawled across the wall at the end of the park. Meant nothing to the poor idiot that did it, but did it ever mean something to Rurouni.

In scarlet paint, the numbers one through to 400 were scrawled across the wall. In terrible handwriting, but Itachi ignored that for now and nudged Rurouni onward.

He had heard from Kakashi what had gone down in Nami no Kuni. The Gallows appeared to have made a slightly deeper mark on Rurouni than anyone had guessed, probably even the girl herself. Who probably thought she was only looking at graffiti for the sake of it, and not realised what her subconscious had made a connection with.

Itachi watched as the cerulean haired girl beside him brightened visibly as they left the park. He understood certain mechanics in her mind better than she did herself.

'Hey Itachi, gimme me a hand?' Rurouni asked, unashamed as a cat had... attached itself to her leg and refused to let go, no matter how hard she shook it. It hissed and spat as Itachi tried to pry it off, and even went so far as to dig it's claws into the fabric of Rurouni's combat pants but Itachi eventually pried it off and tossed it to the side quickly as both he and Rurouni tumbled sideways due to overbalancing.

Unsurprisingly, Rurouni burst out laughing almost as soon as her ass hit the footpath. And, surprisingly, so did Itachi.

Rurouni scrambled to her feet quickly, still chuckling, and held out a hand for Itachi to pull himself up with. Who glanced at the proffered hand for a moment before grasping it fully and pulling himself up.

Clearly, there were still aspects of this girl Itachi still didn't understand, and probably never would. But what was the harm in trying? He shook his head with a sigh and followed Rurouni in the direction of her apartment. There was no point in being angry about something the other person was practically innocent for anyway.

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Naruto's eyes had been drooping for the past half an hour, but he was determined to stay awake. There was no way he was going to sleep when his nee-chan, the nee-chan he hadn't seen for two and a half years, was on their way home.

Just as the bundle of sleepy orange and black had almost fallen asleep, his ears twitched as the sound of shushing and the lock of the door clicking open reached his ears.

Naruto leaped off the kitchen chair and rushed into the livingroom, leaping at the first figure he saw with a hint of blue.

'Nee-chan!' Naruto laughed as the two were sent sprawling to the floor, Rurouni underneath the giggling jinchuriki.

'I think we might have to stop that sort of greeting Naru-chan, you've gotten so big!' Rurouni propped herself up on her elbows and marvelled at how much more grown-up Naruto looked, and not just his height. Even the look in his eyes and the fact that he wore a lot less orange, even though Rurouni was almost reluctant to admit she'd kind of miss that luminous old thing. It was always easy to see him coming.

'Yeah, I have, huh? you haven't really gro-who're you?' Naruto cut himself off and stood to his full height, facing Itachi who still stood in the doorway.

'Uchiha Itachi. I believe you were a part of team 7, like my otouto.' Itachi inclined his head as a greeting, and Rurouni could tell Naruto was just as weirded out by his formality as she had been.

'Oh, you're teme's nii-san. I remember you from that dinner now. Nice to meet'cha I guess... what're you doing with my nee-chan?' Naruto suddenly went into a protective baby brother mode, which Rurouni was mildly impressed and mildly annoyed by.

'I'm training a couple of guys down in the Uchiha compound and his Mum made him walk me home.' Rurouni gave Naruto the short version, telling him about Shisui and his iguana would be a bit too difficult for now. At least until he met the guy.

'Oh, that's okay then. You can leave now though. Especially if you're like the teme.' Naruto grunted, remembering all the girls in the village that are obsessed with Sasuke. His nee-chan was _not _allowed be like them.

Rurouni sent an apologetic look to Itachi, who thankfully seemed to take no offence to it, and left soon after.

'So, you've got to tell me exactly what went down in Suna, like is that kid Gaara alright now?' Rurouni sat on the bed in the livingroom. Naruto followed suit as they both lay down next to eachother.

'Yeah, he's fine now, but wait till I tell you about the fights!' Naruto's eyes lit up excitedly and Rurouni smiled lightly. It really was great to be home, you never realised you missed it until you came back.

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Seregunda: Alright, was it good, bad, awful or average? Please, please please review! They attract plot bunnies which have eluded me for some time...


	17. Green eyes

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Except Rurouni, and maybe one or two others. Tops.

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'Don't pull it so hard, you'll make a mess!'

'Be a man, I swallowed most of it already anyway.'

'But it'll get all over me too...'

'Shut up, I'll clean it later.'

Itachi couldn't help but twitch as he listened to the conversation that was going on behind the door of Rurouni and Naruto's apartment. A couple of weeks had passed since Itachi had last seen Rurouni, and Tsunade had just issued him an order to recall the eccentric gladiator back to duty in the ANBU for a special mission. Itachi hadn't, however, anticipated overhearing something like _that_.

After hearing a long, high pitched whine Itachi decided he'd heard enough and simply barged through the door without knocking. Once the scene of the crime was playing out directly in front of his eyes, however, Itachi found it considerably more difficult to form the words of reproach he had been planning.

Rurouni and Naruto were rolling around on the floor, which is a sight he had been prepared for. What Itachi had not expected, was the carton of purple grape juice the two appeared to be fighting over. Rurouni was currently the winner, as she sat on Naruto's stomach triumphantly while holding said carton just out of his reach.

After a few seconds of gaping, Itachi collected himself before either of the two noticed his presence and cleared his throat loudly to get the bluenette's attention.

'Hey, mongoose-man! What's up, you don't usually make house calls.' Rurouni dropped the carton on Naruto's face, who grunted in annoyance, and straightened up to face the Uchiha.

'A mission for you from Tsunade-sama. You're reinstated into the ANBU, but this is only a B rank mission.' Itachi droned, controlling the urge to roll his eyes as Naruto tried to lunge at Rurouni from behind, who simply side-stepped the attack and stuck out her leg, causing the overgrown gennin to fall flat on his face again. All the while, she kept her attention on Itachi though.

'Finally, what's the mission?!' Rurouni asked excitedly, pulling Naruto to his feet and brushing him down impatiently before turning back to face the Uchiha.

'I'm not obligated to inform you, Tsunade-sama has ordered me to retrieve you so she could brief you on the mission before departure.' Itachi seethed inwardly, not that it showed on the outside of course, but he couldn't help it. What kind of a B rank mission would they bother reinstate an ANBU for? And S rank mission, sure, normal enough. But a B rank was a new one to him, especially to keep secret from an ANBU captain like himself.

'Kinda unfair, but whatever. At least I can pass on training Suigetsu today! I'm finished with Juugo, but Suigetsu is just... well... Suigetsu really.' Rurouni sighed as she pulled on her custom-made ninja shoes. Rather than the normal sandals, Rurouni had shoes made for speed rather than sturdiness, they resembled navy ballerina shoes without the laces on the calf more than anything.

Itachi ignored the bluenette's mindless chatter for the next few minutes as she got ready to leave, and focused his attention on the living room he was standing in. Obviously, the most unusual aspect of the room was the bed taking up most of it, but the pictures framing the walls captured his attention the most.

Itachi glanced through the pictures of Team 7 quickly, entertaining as they were his mother had put enough of the same around his own home. Itachi found his eyes settling on three pictures in particular whic settled on a small cupboard.

One was Rurouni and Shisui, eating ramen at Ichiraku's. The second was the same cerulean haired girl sitting with Hana and Ame outside the Hokage tower. The third picture contained a lot of people, and was taken at the dinner Mikoto had hosted at the Uchiha compound shortly after Rurouni had joined the village. Rurouni was standing between himself and Shisui while Naruto was obviously fighting with Sasuke as the picture was taken. Mikoto looked shocked in the picture, clearly wanting to save the kimono Sasuke was destroying as he and Naruto continued their brawl in the dirt.

'Finished nosing around my apartment now, or are we ready to roll?' Rurouni popped up at his shoulder, giving him a funny look.

'Hn.' Itachi grunted and moved towards the door, Rurouni following behind in amusement.

'Is 'Hn' a special Uchiha word? I've only ever heard you and Sasuke use it, or is it a genetic speech impediment? I'm sure there are some therapists around Konoha that can-' Rurouni broke off as a glare coated in malice was thrown her way, but that smug grin still lingered on her face. Itachi had a childish want to pinch her cheeks, just to make it go away. But, sadly, this wasn't the Uchiha way. Uchiha's did _not_ act like little children.

Some taunts and insults on Rurouni's part later, the two ANBU members stood outside the Hokage's office. One was as stressed as thought possible, the other couldn't be more relaxed if they were in a hot spring.

'Itachi, you seem a little... tense. Are you feeling okay?' Tsunade questioned cautiously, not really liking the way that vein was twitching in the young man's temple. That can't be good for his youth.

'Hn.' Itachi grunted and crossed his arms, clearly adamant about staying put as the briefing occurred.

'If you say so, kid.' Tsunade sighed, but soon turned to face Rurouni. The look Tsunade was giving the bluenette exuded one sentiment: seriousness and sobriety. Both of which usually meant that Tsunade wanted this mission completed properly and without delay.

'I suppose you've already noticed the... oddness surrounding this mission?' Tsunade probed inquiringly, staring deep into the oceanic depths of Rurouni's eyes, clearly expecting a positive response.

'Umm... no?' Rurouni scratched the back of her head in confusion, seriously not getting it.

'It's a bloody B rank mission!' Tsunade cried out in disbelief. Rurouni blinked owlishly, clearly those words meant nothing to her.

'Why would I send a highly-ranked ANBU to do a B rank mission?!' Tsunade sighed in exasperation.

'I dunno. You felt like it?' Rurouni offered up, simply grasping at straws. Sensing a storm brewing underneath Tsunade's facade, Itachi quickly stepped in to help explain it to the idiot, who only ever seemed to dig holes for herself.

'ANBU level shinobi are usually only sent on S ranked missions or higher. Occasionally a mission comes along that is highly classified, but relatively easy to carry out. Therefore, it is only logical to send the ANBU anyway.' the Uchiha explained, as a look of comprehension dawned on Rurouni's face.

'Ah... So You're telling me the mission I'm getting is boring, but important?' Rurouni summed up in annoyance, irritation flashing across her features.

'Essentially, yes. However, you are the only person in the village capable of carrying it out. Nothing to do with abilities, just your mindset.' Tsunade explained slowly, as if to an exceptionally dim-witted gennin.

'Alright, I get it. What's the deal?' Rurouni scowled as Tsunade and Itachi exchanged 'the look'. 'The look' was never good, and in Rurouni's case whenever it was exchanged, people were usually agreeing that she was crazy... Which she wasn't!

'We need you to get information out of Hiro and Asao, the two gladiators that Kakashi brought back for treatment from Nami no Kuni. They are being cooperative, to an extent, but a lot of the terms they use for explanation, and the garbled explanations of what has been going on since then... we need your help. We can't push too much, as they appear to be mildly traumatised by the events, so we need someone who understands what they _can _tell us, rather than force them to tell us what they can't.' Tsunade explained, lacing her fingers together on the desk as she observed Rurouni's reaction to the news.

The girl didn't appear happy about the whole situation, which was expected, but Rurouni had a strong mind. It wouldn't be broken so easily, and Tsunade had faith in that fact.

'Yes, Tsunade-sama.' Rurouni croaked, not looking forward to this at all. Sure, that Asao guy had seemed nice when he had come to thank them earlier... but meeting the guy that got mauled by Momo didn't feel very appealing to Rurouni. The less she had to do with the Gallows anymore, the better in her opinion.

'Good, Itachi will lead you to the prison cell, it's near enough to where you were held when you first arrived, except a bit more secure. Ordinary people don't need to know about the Gallows quite yet.' Tsunade instructed the two, both of whom nodded firmly before exiting the room, this time the roles reversed. The opposite person was stressed out of their heads this time, while the other exuded relaxation.

On this short journey, what Itachi noticed the most is that Rurouni didn't speak. Once. Not even to insult him. An improvement, yes, but he would have prefferred it if it didn't take her being depressed to happen.

'We're here to visit patients under the names of Asao and Hiro... Hokage's orders.' Itachi stated as he and RUrouni approached a desk after entering an oddly ordinary-looking building hewn from stone.

The receptionist bore an oddly surprised look on her face as she scanned the list under her nose and located the names 'Asao' and 'Hiro' on the clipboard she was required to keep in files under her desk.

'That's odd, I'm the only receptionist in this building and I don't remember those two entering at all... but here they are in room 25. I suppose it's visiting time if the Hokage sent you too.' the receptionist handed a set of keys to Itachi bemusedly, as the Uchiha smirked.

'Don't worry about it. You wouldn't remember.' Itachi retracted his hand and motioned for Rurouni to follow him through a door to the left of the reception area and found the door shortly after, with the number 25 engraved into the wood of the door.

As Itachi gave a sharp rap on the door before pushing it open easily, Rurouni pinched her cheeks to add a bit of colour to her now-pale face, wiped her slightly sweaty palms on her pants and took a deep breath. It would do no good for the patients if the questioner was acting as traumatised as they were.

When Rurouni walked through the door after Itachi, who had pulled his ANBU mask over his face again, she was suddenly struck with the reality of the situation again.

The man from before, Asao, sat on the edge of his bed wrapping bandages around his own head to cover a nasty-looking scar Rurouni had failed to notice during their first meeting. At the time, Rurouni had assumed the man was relatively uninjured due to the extent of damage done to his son. But the set of crutches the man used to stand when they entered the room said otherwise. As did the cast used to restrain the movement of a damaged leg. It looked wrong, Rurouni decided, to see such an imposing man in such a weakened state.

'Welcome, thank you again for your help in Nami no Kuni. I have not yet had the chance to thank you properly before now.' the large man bowed uncomfortably, almost juggling the crutches to perform the task of showing appreciation to Rurouni.

'Asao, it's great to see you again. How's Hiro?' Rurouni asked, glancing at the empty bed beside the unworried father.

'He's fine, just using the bathroom. Hiro's young, he heals much faster than this old man.' Asao grunted and sat back down on the edge of the bed in mild annoyance at his ineptitude to heal as quickly as his son. Rurouni cracked a smile at the sight, men's competitive streaks really do overcome most obstacles thrown in their paths. Not that she was any better.

'We have come to ask you some questions, if that's alright.' Itachi interrupted in a monotone voice, even less expressive than his usual one. Rurouni winced. No wonder the gladiators found it difficult to relay information if all the ANBU sent here used their 'work' voices.

'Again? Of course, it's no problem at all.' Asao replied wearily, but mild irritation was evident even in this patient man's tone. Clearly the ANBU sent here before Rurouni weren't exactly... people persons.

Rurouni found out quickly the kind of questions that had been asked beforehand, and it came as no surprise to her why the ANBU kept misinterpreting meanings behind words, the numerical system used for naming, the layout, the purpose of the place and why a small-time crook who wasn't even a ninja would have any interest in a gladiatorial arena. These were all questions Konoha had been seeking answers for, answers Rurouni would have been too young to look for at the time, and answers only Asao would be capable of answering. After Asao, there were no further leads. Most of the other gladiators had fled.

The answers were answers only Rurouni could have understood and interpreted correctly though. Asao supplied information on bits he had seen and heard while in the Gallows, and Rurouni pieced it together based on what she knew about Gato's personality based on the time he spent on her.

Between both sources of information, answers found their way to the surface rather quickly.

'That man who looks like a dead fish, and the woman with a moustache and troll fingers... they were often members of the audience. I'd say for about four of my last fights straight I saw them in the audience.' Asao supplied, and Rurouni thought for a moment, briefly remembering the nicknames the gladiators gave to frequent audience members.

'Oh kami, those two... the man is Akiba Jufuko. A council member from Kirigakure. The woman is Satori Subaki, the feudal lord's tactician! They're both majorly high up in the society poll!' Rurouni exclaimed, crouching forward in her chair, listening intently to Asao as he spoke, piecing information together carefully and constructing it in her mind for the Hokage. She was beginning to understand now, why things had happened as they did.

'And that's all I know. I told all this to the ANBU before you, and before him too. Neither of them could piece together anything from this information, but maybe you can, right?' Asao grinned oddly, sending a peculiar shiver down Rurouni's spine as she and Itachi stood up to leave the room.

'I think I just might've, actually. Thank you for answering these questions again.' Rurouni smiled thankfully at the older man as she left the room.

'Appreciate it.' Itachi nodded and followed her, shutting the door behind him. As the two ANBU members walked down the hallway, they began to talk.

'You actually understood all that?' Itachi, for once, began the conversation.

'I think so, I've got a pretty good idea of what went down.' Rurouni glanced sideways as Itachi pulled the mask up to sit on top of his head easily.

After waiting a few moments in vain, the Uchiha scowled. 'Well, do you feel like actually _telling_me what happened?' he asked, slightly annoyed that the bluenette, who he had viewed as an idiot, figured something out that he could not.

'Not really, mongoose-man. Probably a bad idea to talk about it in a public hallway, right?' Rurouni chided him playfully, knowing the elder Uchiha was a stickler for rules and regulations, even if they aren't in his favour.

'That man, Asao, it looked like he recognised you.' Itachi continued, as if he had never asked the previous question.

'Kakashi said that too. Except I definitely never saw him during my stay there, that man's number 98. 352 is kinda far from there.' Rurouni replied thoughtfully, but surely. She had definitely never seen Asao during her lifetime, that much she was sure of.

'Blue hair is hard to miss, maybe he just recognised you because you passed his cell sometimes.' Itachi speculated aloud, and got Rurouni thinking. It was a possibility, she did stick out. Especially in a place as dreary as the Gallows.

'Yeah, maybe.' Rurouni nodded, but didn't offer any further opinion. No point if she genuinely had no idea about it.

The two turned a corner while heading to reception as a new conversation topic struck Rurouni.

'Do you have a girlfriend Itachi?' she asked curiously, now that the thought had entered her head it was unlikely to leave any time soon. Sure, she had seen some girls, even Hana a few times, fawning over him. But never vice versa. Unless Shisui or Sasuke counted... But Rurouni seriously hoped it didn't.

'What brought this on?' Itachi's eyes slid sideways to observe Rurouni, who showed no traces of nervousness. Unlike what he had been expecting.

'That.' Rurouni gestured at the poster for a new movie coming out in the cinema, whose picture involved a boy staring lovingly at a girl from behind. The movie looked stupid, in Itachi's opinion.

'Ah.' Itachi responded awkwardly, the seemingly random question making sense now. Rurouni was an impulsive person, if she had wanted to ask a question before she wouldn't have waited until now to ask.

'Well?' Rurouni grinned impishly, waiting for the reply. If the answer was a yes, Rurouni's teasing material would be tripled. More so if Itachi was whipped, which she sincerely hoped he was.

Itachi was about to respond before something else attracted Rurouni's attention. And his own.

Somebody had stumbled slightly out of the bathroom, crutches slipping slightly on the tiled floor as the figure cursed before maintaining their balance.

Rurouni's eyes scanned the figure's back searchingly. Broad shoulders, tall physique, greyish silver hair and black clothes were the first things Rurouni picked out. And the tan Rurouni could see on the back of their neck, from what she could make out from behind the bandages.

Rurouni could see Itachi making a similar assessment of the person before them, and the word they were both thinking was this: strong.

The person turned around as best they could on the crutches and looked at the two ANBU in confusion. The boy's vibrant green eyes stood out the most. Like a forest.

Rurouni could feel something pulling at the back of her mind and just as the guy opened his mouth, an image flew back into her mind from the depths of her memories.

_A pair of bright green eyes, twinkling across the corridor at her through the windows of their doors, clinging onto the bars to see these eyes due to a lack in height._

_'353?' _Rurouni whispered, watching as the boy's face went slack with shock.

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Seregunda: I know, I'm evil for ending there and all that. But seriously, I haven't done it much, right? Anywho, I'm thinking of changing the rating to 'M', which means I'm thinking of containing contentwhich is suitable for 'M'. Tell me if you like the idea, or dislike, I'm up for whatever you guys want!:) Cos honestly, I'm happy either way!^-^ Reviews attract plot bunnies!XD


	18. Here comes trouble!

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Except Rurouni, and maybe one or two others. Tops.

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353. There's a name he hadn't heard in a while. Three years to be exact, since old Gato died. His old lady never did remember people's numbers. And now, here was this ANBU member staring at him as if he could cure cancer. The other, the male, just glanced from himself to the blue haired girl and back again. Hiro suddenly felt the muscles in his face slacken. Blue...

'Holy shit... 353.' Hiro croaked as the cerulean haired ANBU broke into a grin once realising Hiro had remembered her.

'It's Rurouni now, babe!' the ANBU crowed delightedly, suddenly darting around Hiro, examining him from every angle.

'I thought you were dead! What happened? Everyone thought Momo ate you when you didn't come back.' Hiro started to babble, barely noticing that 'Rurouni' had halted in her examinations of him and fell in step beside the male ANBU who had pulled his mask back in place since the conversation had begun.

'There's a lot to say really... do we have much time?' the ex-gladiator seemed to be pleading with rather than asking the masked ANBU, and broke into a childish grin when he rolled his eyes and gave a curt nod in acknowledgement.

'Thanks Mongoose-man!' she chirped and came bounding forward, just as the other ANBU sent an annoyed swipe in her direction, accompanied by an uncomfortable twitch at what Hiro supposed was a pet-name.

'Well, I guess you're 'Hiro' now, huh? Your old man Asao told us.' Rurouni asked as herself and Hiro settled down to sit on a bench in the hall. Itachi had moved to the end of the corridor to the vending machines out of common courtesy.

'Yep. But... where'd you pick up a stupid name like 'Rurouni'?' petty as it sounded, Hiro felt as if he had to ask this before anything else. It would be a struggle for him to switch from calling his old friend 352 to this weird new name.

'After I got out of the Gallows, I teamed up with a ninja. Hoshigaki Kisame, after a while he became my sensei, but he trained me how to control my water better. And blame him for my name, I wanted to be called 'Shrimp'.' Rurouni gave a low giggle in remembrance of this time, the happiest moments of her life to date were spent with that man. The same man that most people were terrified of, was probably Rurouni's favourite person in the whole world.

Rurouni and Hiro played a rough game of twenty questions until a nurse came running down the hall looking for Hiro frantically because he had been gone for too long.

'You gotta keep an eye out for me when you're outta here, I'll still visit and stuff too.' Rurouni beamed, blatantly ignoring the presence of the nurse: much to Hiro's amusement, the cranky looking nurse was turning an odd shade of puce due to rage.

'Will do. Bring food next time, they're feeding us toxic waste in here.' Hiro pulled himself to his feet, balancing on his crude crutches once again.

'No way! Toxic waste will probably mutate you, how cool would it be if you started to glow in the dark?' Rurouni joked, while discreetly slipping a chocolate bar into Hiro's shirt pocket. It was probably a little warm and mushy, but better than any hospital food.

Hiro allowed himself to be led away by the overly fussy nurse as Itachi padded softly down the hall to once again stand by Rurouni's side hesitantly.

'Thanks for waiting, Itachi. I needed it.' Rurouni looked away from the raven-haired ANBU, embarrassed, but knowing she definitely owed the Uchiha something. It might not have seemed like a big deal to him, but it definitely was to her.

'Hn. Let's just report to the Gondaime.' Itachi marched down the hall, with Rurouni following suit happily. They attracted some weird looks on their way: one serious and down-to-earth ANBU, followed by another ANBU skipping and almost dancing down the road to the Hokage's Tower.

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Rurouni blinked twice after opening the door to her apartment in bewilderment. Not in shock, surprise or horror... just something she didn't quite expect late in the evening after coming back from reporting a successful mission to the Hokage.

Naruto's bed had been pushed up on it's side against the wall and a slightly bigger table from who-knows-where had been dragged into her living room. The weirdest part is that there was actually food on the table. As in: properly cooked food that someone other than herself had made. Rurouni listened intently for a minute, hoping she hadn't accidentally walked in on Naruto's date or something.

Yup there's Naruto's voice coming from the kitchen and... Rurouni winced. Shit, there's a girl's voice here alright. Not Sakura, or Ino. She'd have heard them immediately after walking through the door. Not Hinata either, she'd never have heard that unless the girl was in the same room and... what the hell? There's another guy's voice too.

Rurouni glanced at the amount of places set on the table. Five. Five people eating here? The food hadn't been touched yet either, so waiting for what?

Giving up on her guessing game, Rurouni opened and closed the door again, this time shouting. 'Tadaima!'

'Rurouni! You're home! How was your mission?' Naruto popped his head out of the kitchen door with a fox-like grin, his whisker marks only exaggerating the effect.

'Surprisingly interesting. What's going on here? I thought I interrupted your date or something, but I heard a guy's voice back there.' Rurouni's mouth twitched in amusement as she heard a voice from behind the door say 'See Kankuro? Even she thinks you're too loud.'

'Hehe. Remember the friends I told you about from Suna? The Sand Siblings? They're kinda in the kitchen with their sensei.' Naruto explained blandly.

Satisfied with the relatively vague explanation, Rurouni simply shrugged easily. Any friends of Naruto's were friends of her's. As long as it wasn't some rogue ninja she was happy. 'Me casa est su casa, I suppose. Or something like that anyway. I'm just gonna go change outta this thing, I'll talk to your friends in a sec.' Rurouni ruffled the blonde's hair fondly before flitting quickly into her room to change out of the ANBU outfit. She hated being treated with the amount of respect people generally do treat you if you hold a position in ANBU. She'd be better of just being introduced as Rurouni, Wildcat can come later. 352 can just never bother crawling out from under that rock she buried the name under.

When Rurouni walked out of her bedroom in her casual clothes she was finally surprised. These Sand Siblings were a strange bunch, not that she could talk really. The only other girl in the room had four pigtails tied to the back of her head, the taller of the two guys was covered in kabuki paint and wore a kitty-ear hood, and the shortest in the whole room had pretty red hair and the kanji for love tattooed on his forehead. Neither of the boys had eyebrows.

Their sensei looked as if he was wearing a curtain on his face, not a fashion statement Rurouni herself had any intention of copying any time soon, but to each their own.

'What the hell? There's no way this is _your_ sister Naruto.' the guy wearing the kitty-ear hood snorted in amusement while looking Rurouni up and down. The cerulean haired ANBU member felt a distinct urge to throw on a shapeless Hinata-style sweatshirt.

'Nice to meet you too, perv.' Rurouni crossed her arms over her chest, causing the teenage boy to back away for a second bashfully, redeeming himself slightly in Rurouni's eyes. At least he had some level of shame.

'Ignore the idiot, please. I'll deal with him later, the name's Temari!' the girl with sandy hair strode forward and gripped Rurouni's hand in a firm handshake. A confident girl to say the least.

'Hey there, I'm Rurouni.' she complied, grasping the wind-user's hand in a similar fashion with an equally similar quirky grin/smirk.

'Creepy... that was all done at the same time.' Naruto blanched, with Kankuro nodding weakly next to him. That was all the puppet master needed: another Temari.

'So... you're Naruto's sister?' Temari asked after all introductions had been completed. Their instructor, Baki, had left soon after to go to a hotel they had booked and Gaara was pretty quiet most of the time, Rurouni figured. Nobody was really fussing over the fact that he hadn't spoken a word other than his name after Rurouni requested it, so it must be normal or whatever.

'Kinda.' both Naruto and Rurouni answered in unison, before bursting into a fit of raucous laughter. The Sand Siblings waited patiently until it had subsided and Rurouni gathered herself enough to tell the story.

'I was dragged into this village about three years ago, maybe three and a half. I met Naruto at Ichiraku's a few days after I was released, found out my apartment was across from his, and he just kept barging into the apartment anyway so he moved in. Now we're brother and sister.' Rurouni yawned after the explanation, and began eyeing the food on the table greedily. Her stomach now seemed more important to her than any conversation.

'Seriously? Only three years ago? But... where'd you come from? If you weren't born in Konoha I mean.' Kankuro joined in suddenly, causing RUrouni to sigh miserably after acknowledging the fact that there was no way she'd be eating her food any time soon.

'Don't really know where I was born... But the village I lived near for a while when I was younger was called Nami no Kuni, wasn't born there though.' Rurouni waved her hand dismissively, to used to the pitying looks she acquired from the two talkative siblings to let them even affect her anymore.

The conversation quickly turned into a game of question and answer, the questions coming from the younger shinobi the answers from Rurouni.

Dinner had almost been finished before Gaara finally spoke up, directing a question at Rurouni specifically.

'Tsunade-sama has informed me recently that out of every shinobi in the world, other than those in the organisation themselves, _you_ know the most about the Akatsuki?' the red haired boy appeared calm to Rurouni, who had come to realise that this was the Kazekage that Dei-chan killed, and she was relatively surprised. Temari, Kankuro and Naruto turned their gazes towards the water-user. The siblings in shock, having not known the girl was anything other than a civilian, and Naruto just shocked that he had yet to be told of this.

'Some of them, yeah. I never really bothered learning about the members I didn't like though.' Rurouni answered truthfully, seeing that lying would definitely not work on this kid. A sharp mind, not Shikamaru's level, but still sharp.

Naruto was about to open his mouth, probably some form of protestation or rebellion of some sort knowing the hyperactive gennin, but Gaara interrupted quickly. 'That is all I needed to know, thank you for your cooperation.' the Kazekage inclined his head in Rurouni's direction, who did the same back to the boy. She liked this kid, sensible and un-fun as he seemed to be, she liked him.

The rest of the night passed easily until Naruto looked at the clock and asked a few simple words that, when strung together in that sentence, probably would've given Baki a heart attack had he stayed around to listen. 'Hey it's getting pretty late, you guys can stay over if you want! It'll be fun!' Naruto exclaimed enthusiastically from his position on the mattress that had been taken down after moving away the 'proper' eating furniture again.

_I love how he just assumes I have no problem with it when it's my apartment: even though I don't_. Rurouni shook her head with a lopsided smirk as Kankuro immediately agreed and declared what he called 'the mother of all pillow-fights' on Temari, Gaara and Naruto if they disagreed. Why Naruto was tossed into that team Rurouni couldn't fathom, but after all three siblings agreed and sent word to a possibly hysterical Baki, she was delighted she had been put on Kankuro's team. Those puppets of his came in handy, even if Karasu did smash a picture frame.

'Why do you wear make-up?' Rurouni asked suddenly as everyone crashed on the mattress after the pillow-war absolutely exhausted, except for Gaara. The little brat rarely got hit at all because of that sand of his, it wasn't till everyone started ignoring who was on what team and it became every man for himself that he started to take any hits. Lucky twerp, Temari had some arm from swinging that giant metal fan around.

'It's not make-up, it's kabuki paint. Respectable war-paint.' Kankuro snorted, slightly miffed after returning from the bathroom to remove the _make-up_ for bed.

'Oh. You shouldn't, you look _way_ better without it. Other way round for you kiddo, don't stop using that eyeliner.' Rurouni advised the two brothers sagely as Temari and Naruto laughed at the two brother's expense. Kankuro was obviously embarrassed, with his red face and gave a mumbled 'thanks' before distracting himself with the bowl of popcorn Rurouni had made for the movie that was playing in the background.

Gaara just squirmed and looked a little uncomfortable, being the naturally cool and calm person he was he got over it in record time and informed Rurouni he couldn't get rid of the rings if he tried. She didn't ask any further and simply took his word for it.

As night wore on, Rurouni set up two squashed-looking air mattresses around Naruto's in the livingroom and another next to her own bed in her room for Temari.

Rurouni realised later that night what a mistake that was.

Temari made more noise in her sleep than a chainsaw! Rurouni, not exactly impressed with being kicked out of her own bedroom, left for the sake of her sanity, and the wind-user's safety. A dead embassador from Suna wouldn't do anyone any good.

As Rurouni tip-toed out the door she noticed, with relish, that the living room was surprisingly quiet considering the fact that it currently housed three guys. Clearly only Temari had it in her genentics to snore. Lucky Rurouni.

The cerulean haired ANBU settled for getting just a glass of water, otherwise she'd be too tempted to just sleep in the kitchen. That'd be an awkward one to explain in the morning.

Rurouni left the kitchen just as quietly and after closing the door behind her she spotted a shock of messy hair above the headrest of the recliner. Clearly the mattresses were less occupied than she had thought.

'Oi, Naru-chan. What're you doing up? It's really late.' Rurouni yawned, not understanding why anybody would _want_ to be up at this time. She definitely didn't.

Rurouni sighed, leant over the back of the recliner, and wrapped her arms around Naruto's neck affectionately. The kid was really stubborn, he probably heard Rurouni get up and decided nobody was going to stay up later than him.

'Well, Naru-chan?' Rurouni tousled his hair playfully as the figure cleared his throat almost apologetically.

'I'm not Naruto... He's asleep.' a slightly raspy voice explained unsurely, and now that Rurouni was close to the figure she could see that the mess of hair was, in fact, not blonde but red. Oh well, it was pretty much the same cut and the boys were relatively the same height. Close enough. And it was dark too.

'Ah, sorry kiddo. I know you don't like the whole touchy-feely thing over in Suna.' Rurouni removed her arms easily, making every effort to not look as embarrassed as the sixteen year old guy did. More of a matter of pride than anything else.

A gruff 'S'fine.' met her ears and Rurouni could see that the little Kazekage really didn't mind. Those seafoam eyes were just as relaxed as they had ever been. Rurouni grinned cheekily, surprising the jinchuriki whose eyes widened at the flash of teeth. She really did like this kid.

'Try and get some sleep, if you get as much paperwork as Tsunade does you'll need it.' Rurouni preached, not even noticing the shadow of a smile that ghosted Gaara's lips as she went through the door into her room at her comment. She was definitely Naruto's sister, whether the two genuinely believed it or not.

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'Oi, money-whore! What's taking you so long down there? Just get the fuckin' bounty and lets move!' a silver-haired jashinist screamed down what looked like an oversized rabbit hole. If anyone was around to watch, the profanity the man repeatedly screeched coupled with the erratic swinging of the three-bladed scythe he carried would be enough to terrify you for life if you knew the identity of said man. Sadly if you did not know this man, you would have burst out laughing on the spot when it started to rain and he started yelling insults at the sky.

After some time, a masked man with forest-green eyes emerged from the 'rabbit hole' with a scowl that was easily determined even with the mask.

'If it bothered you so much that I was taking a while, why didn't you come and get me?' the man questioned the silver haired man, who turned to face him with irritated magenta eyes.

'It's fucking _rank_ down there. You better not start fucking smelling like that, or I'll get a fucking new partner!' the jashinist growled threateningly, barely noticing that the other miserly man had shrugged easily, clearly not caring whether this 'threat' was carried through or not.

'Shut up Hidan.' the masked man called out, effectively stopping his partner's rant immediately. The latter mentally sending mini-lasers at him through his eyes.

'Where're we going now, bastard? I know the freak we call Leader probably told _you_.' Hidan spat scornfully as Kakuzu shook his head at the jashinist. The man needed to grow up, he was acting like a jealous school kid lashing out on the 'teacher's pet'.

'Konoha.' Kakuzu sighed as Hidan's face screwed up in confusion.

'Why the fuck are we going there? Hey, answer me you prick!'

'For some information. I have not been told the full details yet, I will be informed later.'

'Oh... Can I use some tourists as sacrifices along the way?'

'We'll see.'

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Seregunda: That took wwwaaaaayyyyy longer to get up than I thought it would. Stupid laptop's been acting up and telling me something's up with my firewall when I only just installed a new one three months ago!*fume*. But, I'm back now so it's all good! Thanks for the reviews everyone, and please keep reviewing! Don't worry to those who've asked whether I'm continuing or not, if it takes a while to upload the next one it's the computer's fault!^-^(Hopefully anyway, otherwise I've just gotten scarily lazy...)


	19. A fin for a fin, a gill for a gill

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Except Rurouni, and maybe one or two others. Tops.

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'Screw this shit! Teach me something _worthwhile_ s-e-n-s-e-i.' Suigetsu leaned against the wall of the fountain in Mikoto's front yard flirtatiously. As if his offer wasn't 'tempting' enough, the water-nin tossed out a cocky lop-sided smirk. Rurouni could feel her patience, and her gag reflex, wearing thin.

And to top it all off, Itachi sat under the same magnolia tree Juugo had previously sat in. He claimed to be meditating, but Rurouni could see a smug grin flit across his face every once in a while. And she didn't care _how_ far away Mongoose-man thought he was sitting, she had 20/20 vision and could tell very well that his eyes were open over there. The bastard. And Suigetsu was behaving worse than usual too, just to make her day _that much _better.

As Rurouni continued to try and teach the horny sixteen year old a freezing technique, Itachi watched the display with two amused half-lidded eyes. He knew that Rurouni could tell he was watching, but he didn't really care as long as Suigetsu couldn't.

After the kid had originally realised exactly who Rurouni was, he started listening to what she was saying. Which Itachi had believed was a good thing at the time. The less stress put on the older water-user the less antagonising he went through as a backlash.

But yesterday, Itachi had overheard Suigetsu talking to Juugo, more like _at_ Juugo really. The taller boy was busy playing with a few birds in his hand and was only offering up the occasional grunt to make sure the white haired boy kept talking. Who did, much to Itachi's current dismay.

All Itachi would say was this: That boy had thoughts about Rurouni that Itachi himself wouldn't have had at the age of sixteen. Even now, Itachi prided himself on having impeccable self-control which, apparantly, Suigetsu had none of and had no problem letting others know it.

Itachi wasn't going to bother lying to himself, it was too weak. He understood fully well that the reason he was sitting under that tree was because he wanted to watch over Rurouni. Why he felt he was needed, he'd never guess. Rurouni could knock out Itachi single-handed, not to mention that perverted water-user. He had nothing to worry about, but every time Itachi contemplated leaving, his gut twisted into a knot. There was no way he was going to leave an innocent(seemingly anyway) kunoichi at the hands of that miniature Jiraiya.

'Alright, Suigetsu. That's it for the day.' Rurouni yawned, mentally drained from the task of training the untrainable.

'Already? I haven't even gotten to the good part yet.' the water-nin looked so put out with his head hanging down, Rurouni almost forgot how perverted that comment was probably supposed to be. Almost.

'You wish.' she drawled, pulling the icicles that had frozen in spears out of the ground and tossing them into the fountain to float miserably. They'd melt eventually. Or kill the fish, whichever came first.

A dark grin crossed Suigetsu's face, his eyes flicked over to where Itachi sat meditating and back again to settle on Rurouni. 'Yeah I do.' he leered, deciding the ANBU member wasn't watching and pressed his face against Rurouni's suddenly, and before the cerulean haired girl knew what was going on, something brushed off her lips for probably about a millisecond before pushing off quickly and darting away.

Rurouni simply stood there in shock. Not because Suigetsu had the gall to kiss her, she'd knew she'd get over that next time she was training him when she sent him on more laps than even Gai or Lee should be doing. No, she was surprised because he was such a priss about it. Suigetsu was clearly a man of talk and little action, their lips barely brushed and he went running off as if she would flay him alive. Which would be fun, but not because of some stupid reason like a lost kiss. More like just because he'd been traumatising her every training session so far, and as Kisa-sensei always said: A fin for a fin, and a gill for a gill.

Rage clouded Itachi's vision in that one millisecond of his life. For that tiny period of time, the ANBU member could genuinely say no thought process occurred inside his head until it was too late. Clearly no thought process occurred in Rurouni's mind, as the girl was now laughing her head off and tossing more icicles into the fountain.

This matter would only irritate him further, Itachi determined, if he sat under the magnolia tree any longer. So, the raven-haired Uchiha stood up and made his way smoothly but quickly towards the cerulean haired girl, who glanced up with that _idiotic_ grin of hers and asked him how his 'meditation' went.

_He's kinda angry, _Rurouni thought, more than a little apprehensive about continuing any conversation but ploughed on anyway.

'I'm planning on going to visit Hiro again later, did you know that Tsunade offered him and his dad a place in the village? Turns out Asao was some kind of blacksmith before the Gallows, so the two of them are gonna be making weapons for us from now on. Cool, huh?' Rurouni babbled, throwing the last spear of ice into the pond and deciding, after one of the prettiest koi swam right into the pointy end of it, that there was no way she'd get away with this and used her chakra to melt the ice easily.

Itachi listened to Rurouni babble on and on about how wonderful _Hiro _was before clearing his throat loudly. The effect was immediate and Rurouni quieted down, watching him with her wide amber eyes.

'Tsunade has informed me to collect you once you have finished your training. Let's go.' Itachi said shortly, knowing he was being a little unfair seeing as he himself didn't quite know why he was angry, but not really caring as Rurouni's face litl up in confusion. He started to walk.

'Why? Don't glare at me, mongoose-kun. I've been putting up with Suigetsu all morning, not you. So pull that ten foot stick out of your ass and answer me.' Rurouni wrapped her arm around Itachi's shoulder to show the humour behind her words. You never did know what way the elder Uchiha would take a joke if you didn't make it painfully obvious.

Itachi tensed under her touch, but continued walking, leading the two of them down the road to the Hokage Tower. 'I have not yet been briefed. I know it is not a mission, and the information is not classified. Shinobi are simply allowed to find out before the citizens.' Itachi briefly considered moving the gladiator's arm, but decided against it. Again, he didn't know why but he knew he liked that arm where it was.

'Hm, it'll probably be boring then. Maybe an update to the bingo book or something.' Rurouni sighed, losing interest and removed her arm from Itachi's shoulder as they walked down the street, not noticing the Uchiha's uncomfortable squirm once it was gone.

Itachi 'Hn-ed' once in almost silent agreement as they approached Hokage Tower. For some odd reason, Team 9 were currently leaving. Two of which carrying a different glare for Rurouni, who felt the urge to stop in the middle of the road as Ino stormed towards her with tears in her eyes, and Shikamaru watched with similar intent but less drive. Chouji seemed to have no say in whatever was bothering the other two, but not really caring enough to stop Ino either.

Even Itachi's eyes widened slightly at the choice of words that spilled out of Ino's mouth.

'It's all your fault, murderer!'

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There were three things in life Hidan couldn't stand. Well he didn't like most things, but these three were at the top of the list.

1) Someone dissing his religion.

2) The other fuckers in the Akatsuki who eat his ice-cream after he _clearly _tells them he's saving it for himself.

3) Self-righteous pricks.

Number three had managed to find himself and Kakazu almost immediately after leaving the bounty station on their way to Konoha. And he had friends, five others to be exact. Three barely counted and were practically kids, but saying five made Hidan feel that bit stronger after destroying them in a fight. Even if that bitch Kakazu did have to sew his head back on afterwards. That bitch knew very well how to reattach limbs, and he still made it hurt on purpose!

Anyway, Kakazu had a hissy fit while they were fighting coz apparently the strongest dude there had some kinda bounty on him. Something to do with feudal lords, big whoop in Hidan's opinion. He himself causes a hell of a lot more damage in one day than beardy ever did in his whole life and what sort of bounty does Hidan get? None. Although it's probably a good thing, otherwise Kakazu would've tried to pawn him off by now. The shitface.

So Hidan fought beardy for a while, got decapitated, had his head sewn back on, asked _very nicely_ where Rurouni was after noticing the hitaitae for the first time, got denied very rudely, and then Hidan killed beardy. Kakazu was still bitching at him about it, apparently Hidan should have gotten more information outta the guy first. Didn't the old fart understand how stubborn these self-righteous pricks could be? No way was beardy going to tell them anything.

After this there was some big dramatic scene and the kid with the ponytail broke down. So did the blonde girl. Then that girl had a freak attack at both Hidan and Kakazu for five minutes about how killing was wrong or something: Hidan hadn't really been listening. At the end of her little speech though, came the answer he was looking for in the first place. Rurouni was staying in an old department block in a more rundown area of Konoha.

Hidan kicked a rock grumpily, accidentally hitting Kakazu on the back of the head, and ignoring the death glare he acquired. If those fuckheads from Konoha had only _answered his fucking question in the first place_ none of this would have bloody happened!

Hidan couldn't help but smirk at the thought though. They were due in Konoha that day, where Rurouni was staying. And it was Hidan who was sent there. Not that artsy barbie doll who wouldn't let Hidan send a bloody letter when he was sending one _anyway_, but Hidan. This'd ruffle that tranny's feathers a bit.

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'It's not your fault.' Itachi offered up weakly, knowing it would do nothing for Rurouni's state of mind but felt it needed to be said anyway.

'Yes it is. If I had been there I-' Rurouni began to protest, choking on her words slightly.

'You'd what? Save the day? I don't know how that 'gladiator's world' worked, but here in the real world there's no such thing as the _strongest_ person. You wouldn't have changed a thing, the outcome would have been the same because you wouldn't have wanted to kill them either, you are a _person_ not a miracleworker.' Itachi reprimanded her sullenly, causing Rurouni to stop in her tracks and review what had happened.

Everyone that was involved with Asuma was in the Hokage's office. That didn't include Rurouni and Itachi, they had been told for appearances' sake. It wouldn't do for an ANBU member to not know about the death of such a top jounin. All the old rookie nine and Gai's team were gathered in there, along with one or two other jounin. The one person Rurouni had expected be there wasn't. Kurenai never came. While Rurouni sat outside the Hokage Tower with Itachi telling her it wasn't her felt when it clearly _was_ because Hidan wasn't the kind of guy that would kill someone cooperative. That guy only killed, as he called them, 'self-righteous pricks'. Or tourists, for some reason he didn't like them.

That coupled with what Chouji had grudgingly told Rurouni after Ino and Shikamaru left, Hidan had wanted to know where RUrouni was and Asuma wouldn't tell them. For a noble reason, Rurouni had no doubt, but there was _no point _in not telling them where she was! They had no quarrel with her, in fact Hidan was one of her best friends! He probably only wanted to talk or something, and that's why that man died!

Rurouni felt a deep pit of shame bubbling in her stomach. If Hidan really had wanted her for something trivial, Asuma had literally died in vain. As in: for no reason whatsoever vain. Even though Rurouni hadn't known him all that well, she knew enough to see he was a good man and well-liked around the village.

Tears wouldn't come, Rurouni knew. She expected it, crying was something she just didn't do. She could force out crocodile tears if need be, but as she sat there on the bench next to a man who was trying to convince her she did nothing wrong(and failing) all she could feel was that pit burning into her gut. Rurouni sighed and stood up suddenly, taking the silent Uchiha by surprise, and started walking.

She could hear Itachi stand up and start to follow her in case she did something stupid. Protecting her needlessly, as he always seemed to. Seriously needlessly, she wasn't going to kill herself or anything, she was just going to explode from guilt if she sat there any longer!

Rurouni left the village, with Itachi padding silently behind her. Two other guards were in place of Izumo and Kotetsu, Rurouni didn't recognise them. She headed towards the training grounds deep in the woods. The old ones that few people used anymore, less people to hurt while she beat all her frustration out.

Itachi finally seemed to get the picture as they moved through the forest and stopped watching her so warily. Did she really look that unstable to him? She supposed so, because as soon as they reached the training grounds Itachi spoke.

'I'll spar with you.' he stated, didn't ask. A part of his sentence remained silent, but Rurouni caught it easily. _If you train yourself you'll hurt yourself_.

'Okay.' Rurouni complied and slipped into a fighting stance. She came here to train, not argue with Itachi. If he wanted to be the punching bag for her, so be it.

Itachi follwed suit, and before either could tell what they were doing, it had begun. Two kunai flew, one at either shinobi, meeting in the centre and deflecting off somewhere into the forest.

Rurouni squinted due to the sparks set of by ice meeting metal and grunted. When she opened her eyes again Itachi was gone.

A rustle, and Rurouni spun around to grab the hand-held dagger grasped by Itachi in her hand. For some reason, the feeling of the iron dagger biting into her palm didn't hurt nearly as much as it should have. Rurouni glanced down and saw the blood dripping onto the floor. But it definitely would later.

She met Itachi's eyes, who looked just as determined as she to win this fight. Red eyes with black spirals.

'The mongoose sharingan.' Rurouni murmured already feeling the pull of it's genjutsu at the back of her brain. She looked down, genjutsu always was something she found particularly hard to handle.

'_Mangekyou_!' Itachi snarled, before a fleeting grin passed over both of their faces at the now extremely familiar arguement. They sobered up moments later, however, when Rurouni brought a geyser of water to shoot up out of the ground beneath Itachi's feet. The look on his face was so priceless as he was shot upwards into the air, even Rurouni in her seldom-seen-dark-mood laughed.

When he landed(in a perfectly executed ninja-like stance) the first thing Rurouni noticed was crows. Thousands of them flying at her, around her, through her. After quite a bit of embarrassing flailing Rurouni halted after noticing it was a genjutsu and sighed, ignoring the crow trying to yank her hair out and settled into the stance, trying aginst all odds to ignore the birds as Itachi simply watched her. At least she hoped it was him, being the genjutsu-man he was, he could be standing three inches in front of her face and she wouldn't notice.

Sadly, Rurouni and genjutsu didn't mix in any sense. She never had a chance of mastering it, due to the lack of water in it's creation. And never had a chance of dispelling it. Also due to the lack of water. Thankfully, she was one of the types that, although those birds did seem like they were pecking her right now and it really did feel like it hurt, Rurouni could still move her body even if her mind was taken by the enemy. As much use as this was when you thought a million crows were attacking you. RUrouni felt seriously pathetic, it's nothing to be ashamed of to not be able to break out of one of Itachi's genjutsu. He was after all, a specialist in that field. But to not even be capable of breaking out of a gennin-level genjutsu... It was humiliating.

A kunai, a real kunai, cut through Rurouni's upper arm. She had dodged it in time, but it had been aimed at the heart. Rurouni grinned internally. Naughty boy.

Before the pain from the fake-crows grew to be too much to bear, Rurouni dispelled a couple of thousand droplets of water from her body and sent them flying through the air, waiting for them to bounce back and tell her exactly where Itachi was hiding. Water echo-location.

Wait for it----There! Rurouni leaped through the trees with an almost feral snarl and pinned Itachi to the floor with an icicle to his neck, who yelped in shock at being found. He had been surprised when Rurouni had started flailing around yelling about crows, which was unusual but he had seen genjutsu victims with the ability to move before. It just had something to do with the way the brain worked, nothing more. The water thing threw him for a loop. He genuinely had no idea water could be used that way. But, he supposed, if someone was restricted to one kind of jutsu for their whole life they were bound to come up with some interesting ideas.

Itachi, noticing the irregularity of her breathing, the occassional wincing and the dilation of her pupils, dispelled the jutsu quickly. Correctly determining that those cows really were causing her a great deal of pain. Her body immediately relaxed over his own.

'I-I win.' Rurouni announced, and Itachi nodded with a weak chuckle. Rurouni collapsed down onto Itachi's body with a moan, clearly not showing any intentions of getting up soon. The icicle fell to the floor and melted quickly.

The two lay there for a minute, getting their breath back. Rurouni from the physical exertion and Itachi from the loss of chakra.

It was comfortable, Rurouni supposed, considering the position they were in. Itachi was comfier to sit on than he looked, which wasn't difficult considering he was kinda creepy and angular looking.

Rurouni shuffled around a bit to make herself comfier in his lap after the two had sat up, not knowing what the constant friction was doing to Itachi below as she continued her squirming and scuffling to find a comfy place in his lap. It was comfier, she determined, just lying on him face down.

This wasn't comfy at all, Itachi thought, grimacing visibly. That girl couldn't just _sit still_ for two minutes just so he could get control over his body. But noooo. Here she was, squirming in hi-ah... now Itachi shuffled slightly, trying to ensure that the cerulean haired girl did _not_ sit on a certain area of himself that he would rather have left unreactive. This movement caused a slight odd look over his shoulder from Rurouni, thankfully she didn't seem to notice his red face and probably-quicker-than-it-should-be breath.

Itachi groaned inaudibly. He knew he was completely hard now, and Rurouni was still moving and-shit this was practically some kind of lapdance the way she kept squirming! Itachi could feel his vision swimming and finally pushed Rurouni off and drew his knees up to his chest to hide his... problem. He wondered briefly if saving himself from embarrassment was worth the evil glare and the lack of pleasure he was currently experiencing. He was throbbing, Itachi could feel it but kept up a straight face.

'What the hell was that about?' Rurouni grumbled, genuinely in the dark about what had happened. Itachi almost slapped his face there, he had thought she was at least trying to tease him, the idiot really was only squirming.

'If my lap is that uncomfortable, I figured the floor would do the job better.' Itachi explained with remarkable eloquency considering his... condition. Which would _still_ not go away.

'Fine, fine. I need to get up and move anyway. And Itachi?' Rurouni asked after pushing herself to her feet. The guy still looked a little funny to Rurouni, sitting there with his legs pulled up to his chest almost childishly.

'Yes?' Itachi asked, only waiting for Rurouni to leave so he could 'fix' his 'problem'.

'Arigato.' Rurouni smiled before turning and walking away, almost making Itachi guilty for thinking of his libido before Rurouni's mental state. Almost.

'Thank Kami!' he groaned after she disappeared and unzipped the front of his hakama with a sigh. He-the _great_ Uchiha Itachi-almost felt pathetic.

Rurouni beamed as she walked through the rest of the forest. She was glad Itachi let her cuddle for a while, kami knows she needed it. She felt... not better, but ready to face everything again. All she sincerely hoped was that Hidan watched himself on his way here, she had seen the look in Shikamaru's eyes this morning first hand. It was that look Kisame used to wear when he told her:_ A fin for a fin, and a gill for a gill._

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Seregunda: It feels great to be able to post again! My computer's acting unnaturally cooperative... but anyway! Hope this made everyone happy!:) Plz R&R, I am living proof that it attracts plot bunnies!^-^


	20. In bits and pieces

Seregunda: Thanks so much to the people who reviewed, they made me really happy! Please don't be a silent reader, even though I'll still love you for reading, but cookies for reviewers!^-^

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Except Rurouni, and maybe one or two others. Tops.

* * *

Rurouni finally couldn't help it, a strangled sob lurched out of her throat.

These bloody onions were giving her hell! Rurouni began chopping the evil vegetables with malice and a clothes peg on her nose, while the three sand siblings and Naruto watched in mild amusement as Rurouni bustled about the kitchen.

It was getting dark now, and Rurouni felt ten times better. Itachi had really saved her hide today, and Rurouni couldn't feel more grateful. Internally anyway. Externally, she was still going to call him mongoose and mess around with him. No matter how many times he 'rescues' her. It was annoying really, the guy was strong, sure, but Rurouni knew she was stronger. She hadn't even been thinking straight in the woods that day and she'd managed to beat him. How the hell did she keep managing to get into situations where she needed his help?

The siblings eventually decided, along with Naruto, that they would just stay in their apartment with them instead of going near the hotel with Baki. According to Temari and Kankuro, the man was a total killjoy. Rurouni had been very clear with them that killjoys were not allowed under her roof, the only exception being mongoose-man. She had acquired more than a few odd looks at that one, but their guests seemed to decide against asking about the odd nickname.

As Rurouni and Naruto washed up after dinner, a firm but gentle rap on the door sounded throughout the apartment. Rurouni glanced through the door and saw a certain redhead sitting closest to the door, wondering whether he should open it or not. Rurouni grinned, the confused look really was adorable on the jinchuriki.

'Hey Gaara, would you mind getting that? If it's urgent tell them I'll be there in a minute.' Rurouni called, and the kid's face took on a slightly relieved look as he walked towards the door. Rurouni pulled her head back into the kitchen and distinctly heard a familiar voice after Gaara invited the person in. Must've been urgent.

'I didn't know Rurouni went for younger men.' the voice teased, clearly enjoying the indignant contradictions that spluttered out of the redhead's lips.

Rurouni sighed and left the plates to Naruto, who didn't seem too happy but complied after seeing the look of irritation flash across Rurouni's face. Oh yes, she definitely remembered that voice.

'Leave Naruto's friends alone, Shisui. Don't you have an _iguana_ to feed or something?' Rurouni stepped out of the kitchen with a sigh to the beaming Uchiha and the relieved Kazekage. Gaara excused himself and sat next to Kankuro on the couch, both started eyeing Shisui's ANBU outfit with disdain.

'Nah, he died. I forgot to feed him. I haven't seen you in ages, Rurouni. But I know Itachi sure has.' Shisui purred, invading Rurouni's personal space bubble way more than was necessary.

'Yeah, I was sparring with him earlier, what about it?' Rurouni didn't like the mischievous look in the taller Uchiha's eye, but he seemed to drop the topic almost too quickly for her liking. Now that he brought it up, she bloody well wated to know what it was about!

'Nothing, no worries. Anyway, I heard my aunt talking with Itachi's dad earlier... Somethin' you would probably wanna know.' Shisui seemed too serious now, Rurouni didn't like the way even the usual spark of humour or joy was gone from his face. He glanced at the two brothers on the couch, and Naruto as he walked into the living room curiously. 'Somethin' you don't want others to hear at the same time.' he said pointedly, and Rurouni was quick to agree.

'We'll be back later Naruto, make sure those three get a good night's sleep , they've got a long trip back to Suna in the morning.' Rurouni reminded the blonde, and a dawning look of comprehension crossed his face. He truly had forgotten.

'Will do, don't go too fast or you'll pass out though. That's what Ero-sannin's books say.' Naruto advised sagely, and barely managed to dodge the cushion shot his way. Seriously, it was only a joke, Naruto huffed as the two ANBU members left the house.

'So, what's up? I know I haven't seen you in a while, but that short length of time couldn't have been enough to change you into a stick-in-the-mud.' Rurouni padded out softly under the moonlight, watching as Shisui's face darkened.

'You mentioned before, that this 'Hidan' is one of your best friends, right?' Shisui began, and Rurouni could feel an icy feeling creep into her gut.

'Y-yeah, what about it?' Rurouni asked quickly, hoping it wouldn't be about what had happened Asuma, or that he was disappointed in her or something.

'Well, he's supposed to be immortal, right? That's what the whole 'jashin' thing is about... Well Shikamaru was seriously pissed at him for taking out his sensei, and you know Shikamaru. Easygoing but when someone ticks him off, their days are numbered. That brain of his is unbelievable.' Shisui prattled, and Rurouni felt her heart clench, knowing where this was heading.

'Well, we _think_ Hidan's dead. He was blown to pieces by, like, a million paper bombs and is buried under twenty feet of dirt and rock. It's not just his head that's ripped off this time, you'd literally be wandering around down there looking for intestines and stuff, it's pretty rank.' Shisui looked up with a pained expression as Rurouni's face turned white. Not the I-think-you've-seen-a-ghost white, but white-white. Snow white, paper white, whatever you wanted to call it.

Shisui hated doing this. He had a naturally sunny personality, and hated causing pain of any kind. But he knew it was either himself or Itachi that would be doing this. It would do Itachi no good to see one of the extremely few people he cared about in this kind of pain twice in one day. So, despite Shisui's obvious aversion and uncompatibility to this type of work, he'd undertake it for their sake.

'W-where?' Rurouni stuttered out, her intent hidden.

'On the Nara's compound, it's farely hard to miss with that giant ho-where are you going? HEY!' Shisui broke off his sentence in surprise as Rurouni turned and ran as quickly as she could. Shisui just stood there, knowing that the difference in their taijutsu prowess was too much and didn't even bother trying to catch the water-user. Besides, she was gone within the first two seconds she started running.

Shisui sighed, scratched his head, and turned to face the Hokage Tower which loomed over all of Konoha. Might as well let the old hag know what was going on at least, before Rurouni runs past with a bloody lump calling it her best friend and demanding medical attention. Shisui was forced to smother a laugh, in a way that image was kind of funny.

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_*Scrape, pull, scrape, push*_

_*Scrape, pull, scrape, push*_

_*Scrape, pull, scrape, push*_

The digging was more exhausting than Rurouni had expected it to be. Apparently, the kind of fitness you get from sparring and running was different to the kind you get from digging. Muscles were screaming in places Rurouni didn't even know she had muscles. At first, she had thought she might be digging in the wrong place. Finding a pancreas of sorts sticking out of the mud, however, convinced her otherwise.

As Rurouni continued on, more and more various body parts were appearing. Each one eerily fully functional, and ready to go. Once Rurouni found someone to put them back together of course.

An ANBU member Rurouni didn't recognise popped up at one point saying the Hokage was aware of her actions and had permission to continue. Rurouni didn't care, she would've continued even if Tsunade had a problem with it. Which, in hindsight, is probably why the old lady was letting her do this, but not sending any help. But, how many people would be willing to help? This man had just killed a popular jounin in the village, chances of finding someone willing to help were very minimal.

Rurouni found a foot, his left one which had been severed at the ankle and grimaced. Hidan would not be happy to look like Kakazu for the first few days of being stitched up until they healed over. It was still warm, and Rurouni tossed it into the ever growing pile of bodyparts growing outside the hole she had been digging.

Rurouni was not happy, when she found a certain part of Hidan that she wished she hadn't. He would have bitched for years if she hadn't found _that, _but still. It was kinda bigger than she would have expected. She tossed it on the other side of the pile so she wouldn't have to look at it. It was fairly disconcerting to see something like that when it wasn't attached to the man it was supposed to be.

Eventually, Rurouni came across a tuft of grey poking out from underneath a small layer of dirt. It was the fourth time this had happened, finding long-dead rats or rabbits in their old nests or warrens that had collapsed.

Rurouni sighed, grabbed the tuft, and yanked the thing out of the dirt easily.

'YEOWCH! Bitch, what the fuck did you do that for you fu-Rurouni?' Was what was screamed at her the second the trapped thing was pulled free of the soil. Rurouni, not expecting any sounds other than her digging, dropped it with a scream and fell backwards onto her ass.

'OWCH! What the hell did you do that for? Jashin, I've suffered enough.' Rurouni glanced up and saw the severed, but fully functional head of Hidan staring stright at her with his childish grin. Unbelievable how his personality wouldn't change, even after something like this.

'Hidan, I'm so glad I found you! I thought you actually died!' Rurouni hiccupped, scrambling towards the severed head desperately. A look of disbelief flashed across Hidan's face, before he laughed, claiming Jashin would never let something like that happen.

_Of course,_ Rurouni smiled sadly while cradling her friend's head in her arms, '_Jashin' will protect him_.

The look on Hidan's face was priceless when he saw the bloody mess that was his body thrown in a pile on the floor.

'How the fuck're you gonna fix _that_? I look like, well, like I was blown up and shit!' Hidan's eyes were wide as he looked at the pile, in a similar situation to Rurouni. Neither of them had any idea if they were missing parts of him or not, or if the parts the had were even as important as the organs were probably missing.

'I really don't know, Hidan. I hope the Hokage will give me permission to get some medics to do it, but I can't be sure. You are an Akatsuki member after all.' Rurouni sighed, keeping quiet as Hidan mulled this information over silently in her arms. After a few seconds, he glanced up at her and gave her the familiar cheeky grin she was so accustomed to seeing on his face.

'Don't worry about it, you'll find someone to do it. Fuck it, Jashin knows there's a lotta bastards out there that'll do anything for ya.' Hidan couldn't help dragging his eyes down to look at his mangled corpse with a grimace. 'Well, it better not take too long, my fucking head's itchy and I don't have hands to fix it!' Hidan started waggling his chin, trying to get the leverage to push the back of his head against Rurouni's torso to fix his problem.

Rurouni laughed at her friend's expense and scratched his head for him, watching as his eyes closed with a grunt of appreciation. She didn't understand why so many people thought so little of Hidan's intelligence. He wasn't stupid, he had a foul mouth, sure, but he wasn't stupid. He only had a simple outlook on life, but who could blame him? Why bother plan everything out the way Shikamaru or Kakashi does if you're immortal and i doesn't have any benefit to you? No point in going through all that effort of dodging a million kunai if it's much faster and easier to run right through them straight to the source and do it without permanent damage.

Rurouni glanced up as a puff of smoke signalled an ANBU's arrival. Rurouni grinned, she'd recognise that messy black hair anywhere.

'Shisui, I found him!' Rurouni called out joyously as Hidan's eyes snapped open to observe the newcomer. Hidan decided there and then when the ANBU took off his mask and gave a slightly-smarter-than-Tobi-level grin that he liked him and watched as the man skidded to a halt next to the bluenette.

'So I see, and you found other pieces too I see. This will make Tsunade's job much easier.' Shisui snickered as both Rurouni's and Hidan's faces took on the exact same confused expression.

'What the (fuck) do you mean?' they both asked curiously, waiting impatiently for their answer.

'Hm, Tsunade-sama recorded that nearly-useless information you gave her on the Akatsuki, including the oath that swore them into the organisation. The rules are you serve the Akatsuki 'until death', technically after that Hidan is qualified as a dead man and is no longer seen as an Akatsuki member. Tsunade sees a possible future use for him.' Shisui complied, watching as Rurouni's face lit up, and Hidan's frowned. Shisui's smile faltered at this, put he continued his prepared explanation anyway.

'She's sending a bunch of medic-nin out now to grab his body-bits. You helped a lot with this, and they'll spend a while putting his body back together in the hospital. You keep the head, they don't need it until the body's finished. 'Sides, I don't think Hidan wants to turn into a shelf ornament in the hospital.' Shisui grinned as Hidan suddenly seemed very eager to go along with this plan, Akatsuki member or no Akatsuki member.

'Damn straight I don't! D'ya mind if a hang in your place till they're done?' Hidan directed this question at Rurouni, who nodded with a mischievous smile.

'Sure you can, if I stick you over the fireplace your eyes will really bring out the wallpaper!' Rurouni cackled as Hidan's expression turned livid and a stream of curses found it's way out of his mouth as he screeched at her.

Rurouni and Shisui's eyes met and they both fell into a fit of delirious laughter at the furious head under Rurouni's arm. Who only got angrier the longer they laughed, and the curses more and more deadly.

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Itachi could feel an angry tick throbbing in his forehead when the jinchuriki answered the door of Rurouni's apartment and told him Rurouni was in bed because she was up late last night bathing Hidan. _Bathing_ him!

Itachi had heard a rather garbled version of what had happened from his cousin about last night this morning and had rushed over to Rurouni's apartment, and now he was being teased by a fifteen, maybe sixteen, year old kid who probably had no idea what he was insinuating and only knew this type of thing made people angry.

The jinchuriki continued to wind up the elder Uchiha until a voice called out from the room to the left, Rurouni's bedroom.

'Mongoose, don't mind Naruto. He's harmless.' soon after, the girl followed the voice out the door and stood sleepily in front of Itachi, rubbing her eyes drowsily with a severed head under her arm. When Itachi repeated that sentece back in his head, it just didn't sound right.

'R-rurouni, what the hell is _that_?' Itachi rudely pointed at the silver-haired head, who scowled at him and tried to bite his finger off.

'Fuck off, you bastard. If I had the rest of my body right now, you'd make a fucking perfect sacrifice for Jashin-sama!' the head growled at Itachi, who stepped back in surprise without seeming to hear a single thing Hidan said and gave Rurouni a sceptical look, who simply sighed.

'Be nice, Hidan. Itachi's my friend too, believe it or not. Itachi this is Hidan, didn't Shisui tell you what happened?' Rurouni asked in confusion as a flicker of comprehension flashed through Itachi's eyes.

'He merely told me that the criminal was staying in your home, he never told me it was just a head.' Itahi explained, slightly miffed that his cousin had left out that slightly important detail and left Itachi to believe Rurouni was in danger of being attacked by a S class rogue ninja. With its head attached to the body.

Naruto started chuckling at the elder Uchiha's expense, who glared at the little jinchuriki until he left the room for the kitchen, Hidan watched this display with mild interest as it went on. He might have liked Shisui and the fact that he liked Naruto surprised him too, but he decided then and there that he hated this prick. Itachi, even the name sounded sneaky.

'I came to request an even sparring match with you, I am aware you were out of sorts yesterday and I wish to guage the difference.' Itachi explained a little stiffly, aware of the death glares he was getting from the head.

'Sure, no problem. Let me just get ready first and-' Rurouni was cut off before she could get any further by a rather loud protest from the guest under her arm.

'No fucking way are you leaving me here by myself, how fucking boring do you think it is just laying there all day with no body? I can't do anything!' Hidan flashed a triumphant look at Itachi as Rurouni agreed steadily with Hidan.

'You're right, that's not fair. You can come and watch then, I can't stop training either you know.' Rurouni compromised and this seemed to make the severed head of her best friend much happier. And Itachi decided this day was getting worse and worse as it went along.

'I'll meet you at the same place at three o'clock.' Itachi stated before turning and walking out the door, making every effort not to sigh after closing the door behind him. He did _not_ like Hidan one bit.

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'That's your new friend?' Hidan grumped, his newly-washed hair shining brightly in the sunny spot on the window-ledge Rurouni had placed him. Rurouni had washed him last night, Naruto hadn't been lying but he had made it seem a little more incriminating than it had been.

Rurouni simply wouldn't let Hidan stay in the apartment becuase, after being buried underground, he had been caked in mud. Everywhere. Rurouni had washed him in the sink, thinking the bath might drown him, and used her own shampoo on his hair and everything. And after the scrubbing she gave him, Hidan never thought he'd been as clean even when he had his own body.

Hidan decided not to tell her he'd rather not have girly smelling hair, she had seemed kind of happy playing with his hair, even when he had first joined the Akatsuki he remembered Rurouni saying she thought his silver hair was 'pretty'. Hidan had scoffed at the time, thinking himself too manly to be associated with that word, but now he didn't mind. At least she hadn't given him a ridiculous name like '_Dei-chan_'.

'Yeah, he is. Try and give him a chance, will you? He's nice under that act, I'll admit it took me a couple of months to see underneath it myself. Years really, if you count the time I spent away from the village.' Rurouni turned to face Hidan, kitted out completely in her training gear and a look of anticipation on her face. Hidan's eyes softened, and he stared at the wall instead, and started complaining about the sun being in his eyes.

'Thanks, Hidan.' Rurouni laughed, pulling his off the windowsill easily and placing him under her arm.

'For what? I still don't like him.' Hidan protested, glancing up at his best friend's face as she rolled her eyes at him playfully.

'Please?'

'No.'

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Seregunda: Yay, I really love how much my computer's been cooperating!XD R&R people!^-^


	21. Concussions, and fun that comes with it

Seregunda: Thanks so much to the people who reviewed, Lady Raya, Clarissa Avila, Lady Yuuki, something541 and Dustland-Fairytales! And without further ado, on with the story!^-^

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Except Rurouni, and maybe one or two others. Tops.

* * *

Rurouni honestly didn't know why Hidan had been so adamant about coming to watch her sparring match with Itachi. Especially since the head fell asleep fifteen minutes after she placed him under the oak tree at the edge of the training grounds so he wouldn't get in the way.

'Come at me with everything you have, no holding back.' Rurouni called out to Itachi who was standing a few yards away from her and was only now slipping into a fighting stance. Hidan's rasping snores could be heard even over here, the ex-Akatsuki member had some set of lungs.

'I'd never give any less.' Itachi smirked, and what happened next just brought an immediate frown to Rurouni's face. The crows were back, and they looked bigger than last time, their beaks pointier too.

'Shit, I said will _you_go tougher on me! Not these bloody pigeons!' Rurouni screeched, slashing one or two with a kunai out of reflex more than anything. And now, Rurouni's scowl deepened, she could hear Itachi cackling at her expense from wherever the hell it was he was hiding!

Rurouni sighed, and sent out the water-droplets again, expecting the same effect as last time. She was surprised when each and every droplet returned and informed her there was nothing but plants, dirt and squirrels within a three-mile radius. That can't be right.

Rurouni grimaced when she head Itachi call out tauntingly. 'Can't find me with your water? The same trick doesn't work on me twice. Unlike someone.' he jeered. Rurouni's brow furrowed again. It wasn't her fault she couldn't dispel genjutsu, of course the same attack would work on her again. To an extent anyway. It's not like she had any non-water affiliated chakra to mix it with.

A flash, and Rurouni had to dive sideways to dodge a kunai. Sadly, the kunai had a friend in the shadow just beneath it and embedded itself in her leg.

'Shit. Perfect, I wish mongoose would just take it like a man and use taijutsu or something.' Rurouni grumbled, knowing there would be no point in the sparring match if that was the case. Fighting Itachi in hand-to-hand combat would be like a death wish for the Uchiha. And Rurouni needed practice against high-level genjutsu anyway.

Rurouni drew in a deep breath, ignored the pain from the crows' beaks and the kunai, and concentrated hard on summoning up as much water as possible. An eerie blue light filled the clearing Rurouni was standing in, and she heard a sharp intake of breath. Itachi couldn't be that far away if he was closes enough to admire her jutsu.

All of a sudden, twin jets of water shot up from deep below the earths' surface and flooded the clearing. From the water supplied, Rurouni began to shape the water into tens, no dozens of shapes and infusing them with her water-based chakra like Deidara showed her with his clay. Soon, about thirty water-imps were dancing around the clearing, waiting for orders. Rurouni called out cheekily. 'Bring me the man with long black hair.'

The imps were fast, Itachi realised very soon. And thorough. They were searching ever nook and cranny, and even when he tossed and paper bomb at one of them, it's body broke into millions of water-droplets and reformed again quickly to tail where it thought the bomb had come from.

Itachi was perched on a branch of a tree, hidden just above the canopy, when tiny hands grabbed the back of his shirt with a wicked cackle. Itachi glanced backwards and saw, to his immediate dismay, that about four of those imps had taken a hold of him and began to shriek loudly, no doubt to draw Rurouni's attention to where Itachi had been hiding.

Itachi tried to throw them off, but being so small they were hard to catch and continued making noise until Rurouni had pinpointed their exact location. Rurouni moved, painfully by the looks of it, to the bottom of the tree. She looked up, and although Itachi knew she couldn't see him, she looked as if she was staring right at him. Which wasn't much of an accomplishment seeing as those little demons were still clinging to him and shrieking their lungs out.

Itachi's eyes widened as Rurouni drew her fist back slowly, deliberately and stared hard at the trunk of the tree. She wouldn't... Itachi leaped out of the tree to land next to Rurouni just in time. Yes she would.

Itachi only just managed to deflect a fist to the gut, but still caught it in his side with a wince.

Rurouni was in her element now. She had her opponent directly in front of her, and was forcing him to rely on his taijutsu skills. And in some cases ninjutsu. Rurouni was lucky to have dodged the _katon no jutsu_, or else she'd be burnt to a crisp.

The match lasted for a surprisingly long time, to the point where both shinobi stopped bothering to dodge and were just belting each other as hard as they physically could. Which, as Itachi found out the hard way, was incredibly hard when facing a taijutsu specialist.

After what seemed like forever, Rurouni finally got a good hit in and nailed Itachi right in the stomach. The man doubled over, wheezing and Rurouni snapped out her leg sweep his feet from under him. Itachi hit the ground fairly hard, and was almost seeing stars when he cracked his head off the ground.

'I win.' Rurouni stated as Itachi clutched his head in pain.

'You win.' Itachi sighed before trying to sit up, he was feeling woozy.

'You okay?' Rurouni frowned, worried. Itachi waved her off and tried to stand up by himself. He failed miserably and just sat back down, leaning against a tree trunk. Rurouni sighed and sat next to him quietly, she giggled suddenly, causing Itachi to give her a funny look. Rurouni shook her head, trying to prevent the sound from coming out. She could still hear Hidan snoring from where she left him! He must sleep like a log to have slept through all that!

'I think I have a concussion.' Itachi voiced lazily from his position on the floor. Rurouni glanced at the Uchiha miserably.

'Sorry.' she mumbled sincerely.

'Not your fault.' Itachi responded easily, and Rurouni decided not to mention that it clearly is her fault seeing as she doubted it was an invisible man who kicked him to the floor.

Itachi looked sideways at the water-user as they rested. Even now, he didn't know what he liked about her. He knew he should still dislike her, nothing has changed at all from when they had first met. So why had his opinions changed? She certainly hasn't.

Rurouni noticed him looking and flashed him the best I-know-I-hurt-you-but-I-really-didn't-mean-it grin she could. Itachi chuckled at the forlorn expression that crossed her face when he merely looked away, acting as if he had coldly rejected her apology.

'I-I said I was sorry!' the girl wailed desperately, crawling up next to the Uchiha. Itachi froze, she was practically kneeling over him, one 'accidental' nudge to her knees and she would be on top of him. Itachi hesitated, and backed down from the challenge. Rurouni's still an enigma in a way, it was impossible to tell how she would feel about anything. But then again, Itachi smirked and sat forward, surprising Rurouni who was in the middle of an apology speech, she hadn't cared when _Suigetsu_ of all people had kissed her, why would he be any different?

'Itachi, are you alr-umph' Rurouni was cut off mid-sentence by something pressed over her mouth.

_What the hell?_Rurouni thought, _why the hell did he cut me off? _Rurouni opened her mouth to say something in irritation when something hot and wet was shoved inside her mouth and started prodding around.

Rurouni spaced for a good five seconds before the situation sunk in, just as the elder Uchiha had taken hold of her waist and pulled her into his lap. _Holy shit, he's kissing me! _Rurouni panicked and quite literally, sat there like a statue. In whatever way her mind was working at that moment, if she sat there he might just stop it.

It was difficult, Rurouni realised after about a minute of Itachi teasing her tongue into action, and completely futile to resist.

Itachi began tugging at the hem of Rurouni's t-shirt, pulling the cerulean haired girl's body flush against his own. He was ignoring the pounding of his head, what was happening right now was way more important.

Itachi smirked into the kiss as Rurouni began to push weakly against his tongue with her own, and her hands gripped his shoulders tightly.

It was getting hot, and neither shinobi really knew how far they were willing to go. Well, Itachi didn't know, Rurouni's brain was currently on temporary lock-down and completely focused on the cool, soft hand making it's way up her shirt with awkward rubbing motions.

Itachi pushed Rurouni backwards onto the floor and settled himself above her, allowing his hands to roam her body and ensuring his lips never left hers. That is, until Rurouni started getting a little... involved in what was going on. All Itachi knew was, one minute he was getting the most mind-blowing make-out session of his life, and the next their positions were flipped and he was lying on his back with Rurouni lyinh on top of him on her front, lips still on his and tongues still battling.

Rurouni finally broke the lip-lock, but she wasn't prepared to just let it go. If the Uchiha was going to start this, she was bloody well going to make sure they both enjoy it. She started leaving more sensual kisses along the pulse of Itachi's neck, and her left hand travelled up to his hair and tugged playfully.

Itachi gave the first moan between the two, and his back arched up just as Rurouni began to suck on a certain area of his neck, the junction between the neck and the collarbone. His breathing turned harsh, and his face flushed.

Embarrassed at his own reactions, Itachi pulled Rurouni's face back to his and literally assaulted her lips in the most brutal kiss she'd ever taken part in. The kind where teeth clashed, tongues were at war, and a whole lot of hair pulling and touching was involved.

Before Rurouni knew what was happening, Itachi had grunted and forced them to flip over again. She didn't care though. Not now that she'd become aware of a certain _problem _of Itachi's _down south_.

Almost grinning into Itachi's mouth, Rurouni ground her hips up into his. The long, guttural groan that came out of his mouth was so worth it. His eyes, already filled with lust, were now so hazed-over Itachi had no control over his actions as, copying Rurouni's earlier ministrations, Itachi ground down into Rurouni, enjoying the sweet friction of the clothing on his member.

For the first time that day, Rurouni moaned. It was low, and barely audible, but Itachi sure heard it. Considering he began hooking his fingers around the belt-loops of Rurouni's pants to bring their hips closer together the second she uttered it, he definitely heard it.

Itachi's mind was mush, Rurouni's wasn't much better, but Itachi literally was not thinking. Period. Instict was what controlled his movements right now, and what his instincts were screaming was '_release!'_

Just as Itachi was fumbling with the buttons of his pants, his head spun again. He paid little heed and continued fumbling around until Rurouni frowned beneath him, and her mouth began moving. Itachi shook his head, he couldn't hear the sound coming out of her mouth. His eyes rolled back into his head, and he collapsed on top of the water-user beneath him.

'Oh Kami, you really do have a sore head, huh?' Rurouni sighed after prising herself out from underneath the body of the raven-haired man. She leaned forward and checked the size of the lump at the back of his skull. That's some big-ass lump, but it's not going to leave any lasting damage. No cracked skull, just fatigue and a blow to the head.

Rurouni spotted the red mark she'd left on Itachi's neck. It was glaringly obvious, the only way he'd be able to hide that is with genjutsu. She giggled as she tossed the Uchiha over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes easily. She was going to have one hell of a time explaining this to Mikoto. Or, Kami forbid, Shisui or Sasuke.

blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*blah*

'Seriously, what happened earlier when I was asleep? Gimme all the gory details, I wanna know just how you beat his head in!' Hidan chuckled evilly as Rurouni walked back to their apartment after dropping off the unconscious Uchiha.

'Nothing really, I told you everything that happened, Hidan.' Rurouni sighed, she hated lying. But at least she'd told him the truth about the fighting part anyway. And she was damn lucky Mikoto hadn't spotted the mark on his neck when Rurouni was there. That would've led to some awkward questions that Rurouni would rather not answer and leave to Itachi.

"Fine, fine. You don't wanna tell me, I get it. I'm a masochist, I like hearing these things!" Hidan whined miserably and Rurounbi stroked his hair reassuringly. It shut him up, but she knew he would still be nagging about this tomorrow. Any chance of blood and gore and he's in the middle of it.

As the two made their way up the steps of the apartment blocks, they were both laughing at a particularly bad joke Hidan told. Shizune was waiting outside her door, chatting with Naruto and some kid with pixie-cut hair and an intense scowl on his face.

"What's up Shizune? How's Hidan's body coming along?" Rurouni questioned, drawing attention to herself and one of her best friends' severed head. Pixie-hair leaped about ten feet back after noticing the head, and Shizune brightened up considerably.

"There you are, Rurouni! I've been looking for you, Tsunade-sama says for you to turn up at the hospital this time two days from now. They have it put together fine already, they're just excercising the chakra flow to make sure he has better control over his body when the transfer takes place." Shizune explained, and bothe Rurouni and Hidan brightened up considerably. Naruto, however, did not.

"How are we all going to fit when he has his body back? Shikamaru said he was huge!" Naruto complained, waving his arm in the direction of the still-nervous looking boy who was eyeing the extremely happy head in Rurouni's arms with mistrust.

"Naruto, he's not the same size as Kisame if that's what you're worried about. You're... 6"6, isn't Hidan?" Rurouni asked, unsure.

"Yeah, something like that. It's not size that counts though, I can kick that pansy-ass Kisame across the continent if I fucking wanted to!" Hidan protested, earning an amused giggle from Shizune.

"With all four of us?" Naruto hinted, and it was now Rurouni's turn to be confused. Shizune took it upon herself to explain briefly.

"Rurouni, this is Sora. He's going to be staying with you for a few days because he's being chased by unknown enemies. This is, unfortunately, the safest place to put him. I know you're already housing an S-class criminal but..." Shizune bit her lip, not enjoying the feeling that she was taking advantage of the cerulean-haired water ninja.

"No prob, Shizune. We got a couple of extra mattresses from when the sand siblings were staying over anyway, he'll fit. Seems a bit too normal fo our home though." Rurouni joked, as the boy finally seemed to gain the courage to defy Rurouni. His chakra flared as he glared at the odd blue-haired girl and her talking head.

"I'm not a charity case!" he snarled. Naruto and Shizune winced, while Hidan screeched at the boy not to treat someone like Rurouni like that. The bluenette in question, just grinned widely at the boy, throwing him off completely and he edged away.

"Scratch that, this freak'll fit in just fine!" Rurouni laughed and hooked her left arm around his, ignoring all protests that left his mouth as he struggled in vain, no matter how brutal.

"I'm no freak!" he roared, and bit Rurouni's hand who held on anyway as the kid threw his hissy fit with a bemused expression.

"I like you, kid! That in itself usually means normality is a long ways off, normality is boring anyway. You wouldn't be allowed through the door if you were normal." Rurouni ruffled the boy's hair who had calmed down enough to give her the famous "If I'm a freak then what the hell are you?" look.

"I'll take good care of him!" Rurouni beamed as the secretary left in confusion as to whether or not she had really just done the right thing.

Rurouni beamed until the secretary turned the corner, and then let her face drop and she sighed. Today really had been one of those too-full-of-drama days, without the guy with girls' hair. Now she had him to add on top of everything. She grinned when she noticed him eye Hidan again and she shoved the severed head into the kid's hands as she opened the door, much to the distress of Sora and Hidan, but to the amusement of Rurouni and Naruto. Both of whom burst into laughter at the look on Sora's face when Hidan licked the guy's arm to force the boy to drop him in the middle of the hall and used his chin to roll through the door determinedly by himself.

Naruto and Sora almost immediately began bickering and Rurouni locked herself and Hidan into her room with a groan. Those two sure knew how to bring on migraines. Rurouni opened her eyes at Hidan's irritated grunt and noticed a small clay owl sitting on her bedstand, twisting it's head from side to side expectantly.

Rurouni allowed herself to smile, really smile, as Hidan began cursing all blonde trannys on the planet and she pulled the note gently out of it's beak. Sometimes she wondered if some people just have it out for her.

Seregunda: 23 viruses have taken over my computer. I dunno how I managed to get so many of them, but I have. So sorry about the late update though!^-^' R&R please people!XD


	22. Shisui's melons

Seregunda: Thanks so much to the people who reviewed, ilikethatsmile, Ray-nee-chan, Lady Yuuki, AniMekana and Dustland-Fairytales! And without further ado, on with the story!^-^

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Except Rurouni, and maybe one or two others. Tops.

* * *

Rurouni half-smiled as she watched Sora and Naruto bicker, again. She had been feeling a little off the past week when it came to Naruto. She felt as if she was an 'extra' type of person. Sort of like she wasn't in the main story, and was just watching it all happen from a safe distance.

Since she had met Naruto, all different kinds of things seemed to happen around him, especially when she wasn't around. Sora, despite Naruto's odd relationship with him, was more proof of this. Some crowd that despised feudal lords or something, major bad guys, were after Sora from what RUrouni had gathered and the guy was staying in her home and she new little to nothing about it.

She chuckled as Naruto finally got in a good punch to Sora's left shoulder and sighed afterwards. She knew she was way overreacting, but add the fact that Itachi's been ignoring her and Hidan had been forced to move out once he got his body back, she was not a happy camper.

'-iba's place, because I think I left my shirt there when Akamaru decided it was a chew toy, we'll see you later Nee-chan!' Naruto called suddenly, snapping Rurouni out of her reverie just in time to see Naruto drag Sora out the apartment kicking and screaming about how he didn't want to go.

'Love you too, Naruto.' Rurouni laughed as soon as she could no longer hear the two boys' fighting. Naruto, even if he didn't mean to, always managed to cheer her up. And, thankfully, she had been told it worked vice-versa too.

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'Hi Rurouni! Long time no see!' a bubbly voice called out, just as Rurouni was picking up some vegetables in the supermarket. She turned to see a tall man with the typical Uchiha good looks but wearing an untypical grin.

'Hey Shisui. What'cha up to?' Rurouni beamed at the taller Uchiha eagerly, she'd always loved Shisui's company.

'Nothing much. I've had no missions in a while so I've been sitting around the house, my okaa-san says I'm turning into a slob so she's making me do the groceries.' a sheepish look crossed Shisui's face, and rurouni couldn't help but laugh as he scratched the back of his neck in an almost Naruto-like fashion.

'I have to do this anyway, but I'm feeling kind of sluggish too. Want to spar later or something? It's been ages since I've faced _Shunshin no Shisui_.' Rurouni teased, watching the former's face blush slightly.

'Ah, I don't call you Wildcat, 354 or shrimp, do I? Stick with Shisui, I hate that nickname, feels braggy. That'd be great but, Itachi's stronger than me now and he was your sparring partner for a while, what happened to that?' Shisui asked curiously and Rurouni found herself smiling inwardly. For an ANBU, he was useless at lying. He'd probably followed her to the market just to ask this question.

'Hell if I know, I called to the house a few times and Sasuke answered the door. He went to 'find Itachi' who I know was home and said he wasn't there after coming back to the door. I just stopped bothering after the second time.' Rurouni shrugged, and Shisui's eyes went wide at this information.

'Why'd he do that? It makes no sense, what happened the last time you saw him?' Shisui nudged, and Rurouni sighed. She'd been expecting this too, Shisui only ever showed up when there was good gossip. Worse than an old granny.

'We were sparring and he got a concussion. He sort of started babbling after that, I don't know what _he_thought was going on but I can't tell him that whatever a concussed man sees isn't to be trusted unless he speaks to me.' Rurouni flinched inwardly at the lie, knowing Shisui would go back to Itachi with this information. Well, if the thought of kissing her repulsed him so much he had to avoid her, she might as well use the evidence to her advantage. Despite everything, the man is the best training partner she could hope to find.

'I'll let him know that. No matter what he thought happened, he usually wouldn't go out of his way to avoid someone, he's no coward.' Shisui informed Rurouni, glancing through the fruit and veg section thoroughly, as if inspecting them for damages.

'I know, that's why this is weird.' Rurouni sighed and grabbed a cabbage to toss into her basket. Their shopping continued much like this, and Shisui, trying to brighten the mood, shamelessly turns and beams at Rurouni.

'Hey Rurouni?' he sang, causing the bluenette to turn and look in horror at what the Uchiha was currently doing.

'How do you like my _melons_?' he trilled, holding a pair of watermelons to his chest triumphantly. A few people even stopped to stare. Rurouni, thoroughly mortified, turned and kept walking, ignoring all calls from the Uchiha to slow down and kept pretending she didn't know him.

'How's your new job going, Hidan?' Rurouni called out to the tall silver-haired man, easily visible above most of the crowd.

'Rurouni! Great to finally fucking see ya!' if those words had come from anyone other than the grinning, obviously-happy jashinist in front of her Rurouni probably would have felt insulted.

'I know, I've been busy Hidan.' Rurouni sighed and Hidan scrunched up his face.

''With what? There's nothing interesting happening outside this fucking shit-hole, I mean- wonderful village. Especially now that I'm inside it!' Hidan crowed, looping an arm around Rurouni's shoulders as they began to walk. Soon, Hidan started telling her about the life he's finally gotten inside the village.

He'd been assigned to Konoha prison. Ironic, yes, but it actually encouraged his jashinist lifestyle better than the Akatsuki had, and that was the reason he joined those idiots. Konoha, as a large village, had a lot of enemies and some would have to be given the death sentence... via Hidan's _ritual_. Apparently when Tsunade-sama trusts him more she'll send him out on assassination missions.

Rurouni hid her grin as she listened to the man babble on and on about how great the Hokage was for even letting him go that far. She personally didn't feel as if it would take that long to make her decision. Hidan, despite everything and all his obvious faults: ie, jashinism, he was incredibly difficult to dislike. When you weren't fighting with him of course, then he was nearly the same as a raving lunatic.

"-ut I haven't seen that fucking girly prick anywhere, he's usually hanging off your fucking arm, where is he?" Rurouni snapped to attention and glanced sideways at Hidan, who was visibly scowling immaturely. Rurouni giggled, much to Hidan's silent chagrin, the religious zealot really was very similar to a child in personality. He'll love you forever if you give him something he likes, and won't so much as look at you if he so much as decides he doesn't like you.

"Itachi's been avoiding me, and according to Shisui, has barely left the compound." Rurouni responded in ammusement.

"Prick." Hidan scoffed, more for the sake of insulting the man than what the actual situation called for. Especially since he spent the next few hours with Rurouni grinning his head off. He must really hate Itachi.

The dango stick, thankfully now devoid of all dango, that had been clenched between Itachi's teeth clattered to the floor at his cousin's words. And, as Shisui continued relaying his little incident with Rurouni in the grocery store, Itachi could feel his eyes grow steadily wider and the only words playing through his mind were extraordinarily simple for a man of his intellect and eloquence.

_Oh, shit._

"So then, because she was looking kind of sad, I picked up these melons, right, and-" Shisui cut himself off as Itachi stumbled to his feet and started running before he could even finish his story.

Shisui scratched his head in confusion as he sat alone at the kitchen table. Now what'll he do?

Itachi never bothered search on the ground, but took immediately to the rooftops of Konoha and began scanning the streets of Konoha for any and all sources of blue. You'd think it'd be easy finding a blue haired girl who was, according to Shisui, planning on visiting a silver-haired man of a massive height. It should be incredibly easy to find such a pair, but sadly it wasn't.

Eventually, after forty-five minutes of searching, which was an incredibly long time considering he was Uchiha Itachi, he found them. Not in the training grounds, not in a weapon shop, not at any ninja-related place whatsoever. They were sitting on a bench in the park, laughing their heads off, eating popsicles of all things.

Itachi, too annoyed to think all that rationally, simply stalked up to the pair and stood in front of them. Arms crossed and sharingan glaring.

"Do you mind if I have a word in private with her?" Itachi hissed through gritted teeth at Hidan, who immediately scowled and was about to protest until Rurouni broke into the conversation first.

"Of course it's alright. Hidan, you said the Hokage wanted a meeting with you this afternoon anyway, right? If I kept you much later you'd be late." Rurouni prodded the jashinist into movement, who groaned as he remembered the appointment. Seriously, he was grateful to the Hokage and all, but the timing was awful.

"What happened the last time we sparred?" Itachi hissed through gritted teeth as soon as the jashinist had lumbered out of earshot. Rurouni made a shushing motion and gestured to the children playing around them in the park.

"If this is going to turn nasty, better for it not to be around kids." Rurouni sighed and walked into the wooded area the lined the park, not bothering to glance over her shoulder to see if Itachi was following her or not.

Rurouni turned once they were far enough from the public eye and stared straight at Itachi in what would have been an unnerving manner had it not been for the circumstances surrounding their meeting.

"So, what happened? Shisui says a lot of what I thought happened might not be the case." Itachi snapped and made an angry gesture to the back of his head where he had cracked his skull off the rock.

"Hm, well you seemed okay up till a little after the end of our match, even after hitting your head. After I pinned you, you quit and sat up against a rock, maybe a tree, wasn't paying all too much attention. Anyway, you started sort of spacing out then and wouldn't answer when I spoke to you. There were some s_trange_noises coming out of your mouth after a while. And when I started asking if you were okay, you blanked completely on me." Rurouni lied through her teeth, immensely proud of the wide-eyed reaction she had pulled from the Uchiha.

"S-so, that's it? Nothing else?" Itachi asked hysterically, voice rising an octave or two uncharacteristically.

"Yup. I slung you over my shoulder and dragged your unconscious ass home after listening to you started getting a little... embarrassing." Rurouni teased as Itachi's face turned a lovely shade of red that she had definitely never seen on his face before.

"E-embarrassing? H-how?" Itachi stammered, watching as an unusually feral sneer took it's place on Rurouni's face.

"Hm... Whoever you were getting it on with in that dream Itachi, I hope they did you justice!" Rurouni snorted as the blush drained from Itachi's face and his skin went, not his usual pale, but almost paper-white.

"I-uh... Well, maybe I... eh..." Itachi was grasping at something, anything, that could improve this seemingly desperate situation.

"HOW'S HIDAN?" Itachi finally blurted out quickly, but covered his mouth almost immediately afterwords in embarrassment. Rurouni, feeling pity on the now-thoroughly-embarrassed Uchiha, decided to bite the bait and just roll with it. There was a limit to how unfair she could be. Especially when _the_Uchiha Itachi was standing in front of her like a pre-teen girl in an almost classic pose: Both hands covering his mouth, blush evident once again on his cheeks and eyes de-sharinganed and averted.

"He's great actually, you won't believe the sweet deal Tsunade set up for him-" Rurouni proceeded to tell Itachi all the details of Hidan's living arrangements in Konoha even though the man was clearly not interested, when a moment of sheer brilliance struck her. Cruel, unfair, and probably a little inhumane in all aspects, but it was going to be the most fun she's had in weeks and she was going to milk it for all it's worth as long as she could.

The bubblegum flavoured popsicle that had been hanging by her side the whole conversation so far had re-entered her mind with a vengeance. That, and she did just really want to eat it before it melted too.

In between words, Rurouni started to lick the popsicle slowly, making sure none of the drips reached the end of the popsicle, let alone the floor. Her actions, because she had been chatting animatedly while doing this, had at first not been noticed. But now, she could see Itachi's eyes following her tongue's every movement as she licked and sucked it eagerly. And she swore, when she let out an appreciative hum at the taste, that she saw Itachi lick his lips nervously.

"So,*lick* as I was saying, *suck* Hidan's not gonna be let out of the village *lick* until Tsunade's sure he's safe.*suck* Are you sure you're,*lick* listening to me?" Rurouni asked inquisitively as Itachi's eyes widened in surprise at the fact that he hadn't heard a single word that had been said.

At Itachi's panic, Rurouni shrugged easily and let it slide. The fun was starting to fade from this little charade so she went back to eating the Popsicle normally and settled for just conversing with the Uchiha.

"No problem, I know you don't like him that much so I can't blame you for not listening really. What's Team Taka or whatever your brother's team is called been up to recently?" Rurouni asked, and Itachi was only to happy to swap to the change of topic, although he still watched her eating the frozen snack with wide eyes even though she had completely dumped the idea of using that to get to him anymore.

"Not much, Suigetsu's control has improved a lot more under your tutelage. My otouto seems to have a good calming effect on Juugo, and Karin sneaks into the bathroom daily to watch my otouto, and sometimes myself but I usually catch her, bathe." Itachi supplied with a groan, and Rurouni burst out laughing, popsicle forgotten, at the idea of Itachi, clad in nothing but a towel, kicking that perverted red-haired bitch out of the steamy bathroom.

"Seriously? Man she's desperate. With those guys around your place must be like one of those day-time dramas married women seem to love so much." Rurouni laughed boisterously as Itachi sighed in acceptance. It had definitely been looking that way recently.

Rurouni's loud obnoxious laughter had simmered down to a chuckle and she slipped the popsicle all the way into her mouth, still thinking about the image of a scolded Karin. Soon enough, the entire popsicle up to the stick was in her mouth, and Rurouni glanced curiously at Itachi who had practically frozen and was staring at her blankly. It took a few seconds for the situation to sink in before Rurouni was reminded of the popsicle in her mouth.

"Ah-" Rurouni managed to grunt and pulled the whole popsicle out of her mouth easily and gave an apologetic look to Itachi.

"Sorry mongoose, even Hidan gives out to me for ramming those things down my throat. I know you polite, perfectly-behaved Uchihas would be disgraced by the display." Rurouni laughed a little and simply placed the tip of the popsicle in her mouth this time, sucking on it innocently. Most of it was gone now though.

"H-how did you fit all that in there?" Itachi asked, morbidly curious. He knew he shouldn't ask, but his mind wouldn't let him walk away without an answer.

"Not much of a gag reflex I guess." Rurouni shrugged, this time genuinely completely oblivious to the situation as Itachi's eyes clouded over and he stumbled back a few steps.

"I... I have something to do today, I'll call soon for another sparring match!" Rurouni swore on her life she had never seen Itachi run as fast as he did right then. Not even during those sparring matches, he had better not have been holding out on her before.

As soon as Rurouni knew for sure Itachi was gone, she broke down in peals of laughter. She still hadn't understood what was going on at the end of their little meeting, but she had decided one thing now.

Rurouni was going to torment Itachi for as long as she could get away with, and then he was hers. Itachi was more mature than Rurouni in every aspect, but was remarkably immature in this singular area that Rurouni would have expected him to excel in.

As Rurouni went through things in her head for a split escond, she had come to a single conclusion that made her grin widely. Itachi was cute, smart, strong and while maybe didn't like her he was definitely attracted and that was something to go on. Rurouni wasn't the type of girl who giggled or blushed, in fact the only time she recalled blushing is from embarrassment due to pranks or certain Uchiha's and their..._ melons_. Rurouni liked him now, and kami was he going to know it after she'd played around with him for a bit.

"Ru-aurgh!" Itachi cried as he came, sweating and shivering, in the confines of his bedroom. He flopped back on his bed, not bothering to clean up quite yet. That girl would be the end of him if he didn't get it together.

He'd avoided her because he thought he had been humiliated, losing consciousness at a time like _that_... in a way he was glad it never happened but in another... Itachi glanced down to view his still-straining erection that had returned due to what he had previously thought were memories but were in fact hallucinations. He let his head hit the pillow with a groan and covered his eyes with his arm.

This will have to stop, Rurouni is too immature to even _think_ something along the lines he was currently doing. He knew for a fact he was obviously more matue than her, and he was fairly sure that was the case in this area too.

Itachi shuddered, and took a hold of his shaft once more weakly. This was going to be a long day.

Seregunda: Hope you all like it so far, and I know Rurouni's a bit of an odd character... but I think I should explain things now. She either feels things or she doesn't, she either wants things or she doesn't. So if she wants something she'll do her best to get it. And not go about the whole "I'll blush and I'll cry because I'm so innocent" routine. Which, I actually kind of wanted to write because it's sort of more... normal. But sadly, my character is a bit of a freak so no normality there. Please R&R people!^-^


	23. Situations in cinemas

Seregunda: Thanks so much to the people who reviewed, Lady Yuuki, feelingyellow, vivet, Clarissa Avilla, nami98, XxSpIcYpEpPeRxX and Scarletfighter! Reviews really help my writing, and without further ado, on with the story!^-^

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Except Rurouni, and maybe one or two others. Tops.

* * *

Hana was, to say the least, immensely pleased with what had been occurring over the past week. She had been the only person Rurouni chose to give a 'secret' to, which in itself would usually make her swell with pride for being trusted like that. But being let in on a whole plan, being relayed every bit of information afterwards and often even seeing them really made her week.

So far, Rurouni had brought Itachi bikini-shopping with her for the upcoming Summer. Sensuality disguised as practicality. Innuendos were used frequently, with Rurouni pretending she had no idea what she was saying. Once she even slipped aphrodisiacs into his food, courtesy of Hana's veterinary clinic. And every time Itachi tried to make any form of move on her that day, she had completely destroyed the mood for the unnaturally horny Uchiha. The only unplanned incidents were when Itachi had overheard Shisui say something about Rurouni sleeping with Hiro and he rushed into her apartment while she was changing. It turned out the bluenette was invited to sleep over by Asao, because a meteor shower could be seen from their smithing area for the Saturday night.

Her younger brother seems to think there's something wrong with her, because she kept bursting into sudden peals of snorting laughter randomly around the house.

But right here, and right now, was by far the best moment of this whole week.

Rurouni, Hana, Shisui and Itachi finally found the time in between missions to all go out together as a 'team'. Rurouni and Hana had, purposefully, chosen a certain Icha Icha Paradise movie to go see. Except, it was under a different title to draw attention from younger children and was the first of the series to be made into a feature film. And, so far, it had everything the books had, and then some.

They were sitting in the middle of the seating area, in an empty cinema. The movie itself had already been out for two weeks, and the die-hard Icha Icha fans had already seen it. And, with movies such as these, you either loved them or felt insulted watching them. So the place was empty as a result.

Rurouni was sitting between an almost sweaty-looking Itachi in the aisle seat and Shisui who was slurping a slushy happily, clearly not really paying attention to what was on-screen while Hana was sitting next to him.

Nothing had happened so far in the Itachi department, but then they hadn't really reached the steamiest parts yet. Hana should know, she had been one of those fans that had watched the movie last week. But, it was getting close and that was enough.

Hana had 'accidentally' sent a clone two seats behind their own row upon entering with great difficulty. Ordinarily Itachi would have picked up on this, but he'd been a bit skittish as of late. Thankfully, it was difficult enough for Rurouni to slip the aphrodisiac in his food, let alone sneak a fully grown clone behind him.

_*Thunk*_

'Ow! What the hell was that?' Shisui yelped and rubbed the back of his head where the clone had hit him with a decent-sized rock. His popcorn lay scattered on the ground. He was looking around accusingly, blatantly ignorant of the derogative looks he was getting from all three of his team mates.

'Don't be an idiot, Shisui. You dropped your popcorn so stop covering up for it.' Hana scoffed, inwardly pleased at the results as Rurouni's face split into a mischievous grin at what the 'signal' meant.

'But, something hit me! I swear it di-' Shisui was cut of by Hana's tutting as she stood up briskly and snatched the eldest Uchiha by the wrist and pulled him to his feet.

'I'll get you some more if you just shut up.' Hana drawled wearily as Shisui clammed up immediately and nodded brightly, eager to follow the Inuzuka with the promise of food. Hana chuckled inwardly, there was no way any Uchiha should be so blind as to not get what was going on, yet here Shisui stood before her. And the popcorn salesman had 'mysteriously' fallen ill and had to go home with a serious case of diarrhea. The wonders of owning a veterinary clinic will never cease.

Rurouni bristled proudly at how well the week had gone so far as Hana led the bubbly Uchiha out the door, usually her plans failed miserably. Which is why she generally never made them in the first place. Sadly, her plans _would_ have gone completely bust if Hana hadn't been around to fix them. So, she could take about 0.5 per cent credit for the week, but it was a 0.5 that she was extremely proud of.

And now, it begins.

'Hey, wasn't the popcorn guy the man we saw running down the road looking for medication?' Rurouni quipped, watching as Itachi's face remained unimpressed. In fact, he looked almost bored with the situation, and Rurouni's senses weren't as keen as Hana's in this sense so she had no idea how she'd go about this.

'Hn.' Itachi responded with an easy shrug, not peeling his eyes away from the screen as the main character trotted up a mountain with a monster-sized sword while wearing some sort of animal skin accompanied by a busty woman in a fur bikini.

'They'll be gone for a while then, Shisui won't let Hana go if she promised him popcorn.' Rurouni mused aloud as a dragon popped up out of seemingly nowhere and flew off with bikini-woman who was now shrieking hysterically for help, despite the 'crystal staff of doom' or whatever that she had clutched in her hand since the beginning of the movie.

'Hn.' came the ever-eloquent response of Uchiha Itachi, who was probably dropped onto the planet for the sole purpose of being the bane of Rurouni's existence.

'Oh yeah, you remember Nana right? She was a jounin around the same time as me.' Rurouni dropped a line, waiting, waiting and waiting...

'I remember.' until Itachi bit it. Rurouni plastered something she had come to call 'The Haruno Sakura' smile on her face, it was large, cheesy and for some reason boys never seemed to see through it. A shaky source considering the pinkette's luck with Sasuke, but Rurouni had no choice really. And, there were less girls Itachi's age in the village than Sasuke's age so hopefully that means less creepy fan girls tried it on him for him to see through.

'I heard she likes you, what'cha think?' Rurouni probed, and Itachi seemed completely unbothered by this news.

'She's weak, low intelligence levels and not the best personality. No.' Itachi managed to finish the conversation with that single, clipped sentence. Rurouni winced, poor Nana. The girl actually had liked Itachi, so maybe Rurouni would keep this conversation a secret. Well, not from Hana. And maybe not from Naruto. But definitely from everyone else.

'Harsh.' Rurouni mumbled fleetingly under her breath.

'But true.' Itachi droned, clearly not caring about the girl one bit. Especially now that the dragon seemed to have locked bikini-woman in a lare birdcage, and somehow managed to catch it's claw on the edge of her clothes. It left amazingly little to the imagination, and not for the first time Rurouni wondered exactly how Jiraiya managed to get this on the big screen without some form of complaint against it's release.

'Whatever floats your boat, I guess. I'm sure you've got your own 'bikini-woman' hiding in the village somewhere.' Rurouni scoffed, jerking her thumb at the screen where the hero had leaped through the mouth of the cave waving his sword like a lunatic and bikini-woman was practically weeping in gratitude that he had come to save her.

'What exactly do you think I am? I do _not_consider whores.' Itachi scoffed, crossing his arms in irritation at the comment. Rurouni stifled a giggle, that did not go unnoticed by Itachi, but he did let it slide as the hero managed to somehow trick the incredibly stupid dragon into impaling itself with it's own tail through the back of it's throat and set itself on fire.

'Interesting. But not unexpected, you Uchiha's do well enough with girls to not have to associate yourselves with them I suppose. You cranky bastards, I can only imagine why. And I can only wonder why Shisui is the only one who doesn't, he's good looking too and has a way better personality.' Rurouni pondered, genuinely curious as to the reason even she liked this enigmatic Uchiha. It's definitely not just the looks, otherwise she'd have tried her luck on Deidara or Hidan by now.

Can't be the personality, Hidan's right the guy _is_ a prick.

Maybe because he's nearly as strong as her? Nah. She'd never beaten Kisame, ever. And she can't see herself popping out blue babies anytime soon.

'I can only imagine.' Itachi hissed through gritted teeth, clearly not enjoying being the topic of conversation in this light.

'Don't worry, you're not that bad. I mean, you could've wound up like Mikoto-san. Or worse, your otou-san. At least between their crankiness and manipulative ability you seemed to have found some sort of balance between the two.' Rurouni snickered, as Itachi let out a grudging sigh. Apparently that sort of jibe had become expected out of her.

'What about you then? I don't see you off with Hiro, or, kami forbid, that baka Hidan.' Itachi turned slightly as the hero began some long winded speech about how his love for bikini-woman won out in the end and that was the basic reason he didn't run off with the woman in the one-piece instead from earlier in the movie. Rurouni suspected it had more to do with the fact that she had less skin exposed, since it was Jiraiya's work and all.

'For the last time, Hidan isn't an idiot. He just has no reason to be shinobi-smart 'cause he can't die. But you're right, I've never seen Hidan that way. And Hiro _is_cute... But again, just no. Even I dunno why, but just no.' Rurouni answered truthfully as Itachi went over the answer in his head slowly.

And now, the hero is trying to suck bikini-woman's face off with his mouth. It was supposed to look passionate, Rurouni supposed, but to her it looked _too_ dramatic and the movements too practised. Not that she knew much about that sort of stuff, but she did know she didn't like looking at it like she was supposed to.

'He _is_an idiot, and Hiro isn't the type for you. Too normal.' Itachi grunted, face still impassive as Rurouni scanned it for all signs of a reaction. She got none.

'Oh right, and Shisui's actually into Hana.' Rurouni scoffed, a little insulted despite the fact that she knew she was too weird for the normal as it was. Her comment was met with silence. Rurouni stared pointedly at Itachi, who stared back with a blatantly scathing look.

'Seriously? Him and Hana? I would never have guessed! But they're too... I dunno, but those two!' Rurouni laughed, not really taking much notice of the screen anymore (purposefully) but knowing that the sounds of ripping clothes and grunting sounds could only be... A fight, that's it! A good old brawl, just don't look at the screen!

'I think they go well. She's the only one who can handle my insane cousin.' Itachi pointed out, which quieted Rurouni down into a contemplative silence. Eventually she just nodded easily, if Hana needed consultation kami knows Rurouni would be there to give a hand if need be. Despite the fact she'd probably make everything a million times worse.

There were now sounds of grunting, now accompanied by obnoxious moaning and occasionally a shriek from, what Rurouni convinced herself, a particularly hard punch. Rurouni had long since clenched her eyes shut, and cursed the actors mentally. Of course, they were completely shit at acting until _this_ bit came along. _Now_ they decide to actually make everything sound realistic.

'We can leave if you want.' Itachi offered tonelessly, apparently completely unmoved by the scene on screen.

Rurouni nodded quickly and clambered to her feet clumsily, plan abandoned in the face of future mind-contamination.

Too bad for Rurouni, whose eyes were still clamped shut, that she hadn't any idea that Itachi had not stood up to leave yet and she fell face first over his legs and was now lying sprawled across his lap. Feet and hands both grazing the floor, and head hanging in the air. Not the most graceful, or desirable, fall. Her luck could've at least decided 'Hey, why not give her a break?' and land her properly in his lap, but _nooo_. She had to hang over his legs like meat in a butchers'.

'Oops. Forgot to open my eyes.' Rurouni grumbled apologetically, while pushing herself back to her feet. One hand on his right knee, the other on his higher thigh.

Itachi's face, again, gave no reaction. But curiously enough, Rurouni felt his body stiffen under her hands as she moved. Busted. Of course the Uchiha's never _look_ like they feel anything. That didn't mean they didn't though.

Rurouni, from her still-not-sexy position, but considerably better than it had been, glanced up at Itachi's face apologetically before freezing. For a split second, she thought Itachi was glaring at her. But, after that split second, she realised he wasn't. His eyes were practically _smoldering_. Gone were those emotionless orbs, he still had the emotionless face but Rurouni was convinced she could fix that. And, to top it all off, the sounds on the screen were getting ever louder.

Wordlessly, Rurouni straightened up and sat on Itachi's lap, facing him. His face still betrayed nothing, he was an Uchiha and that is what they do, but Rurouni was grateful for the bit of emotion he was allowing into his eyes. She knew it wasn't some sort of overload-his-senses emotion and that was why it was there, he was letting it through. His control is too good otherwise until it's forced out of him.

Slowly, deliberately, Rurouni began trailing her fingers along the sides of Itachi's face, marvelling at the almost perfect skin. Itachi took hold of her hands and pulled her down to him gently, and ghosted his lips across hers before pulling away. He looked in her eyes, which gave no objection to his actions and he froze. Two, three seconds passed where the only noise were the sounds of bikini-woman's pleasured cries.

Itachi smashed his face against Rurouni's, pulling her body down and his own up. His left hand was entangled in her hair, while his right gripped her lower back.

It was far from perfect, but it was a completely different experience for Rurouni, surreal. Hair was getting tangled in all the wrong places, the armrests of the cinema seats were digging into her side and the lumpy seat was far from comfortable for Itachi's back. The sounds were getting louder from the screen, the occasional shriek turning into a lot of full-blown screams. Their hands travelled, not straying below clothes but pulling, grasping, groping and clutching at anything as long as it was the other's body.

Itachi grunted as Rurouni pushed him further back into the seat, straddling his waist for more comfort after tiring of the poky armrests, and nibbled his ear teasingly. His breath hitched, inaudible, but Rurouni felt his chest move suddenly. Rurouni traced the lobe of his ear with her tongue before moving down to his neck, making sure not to leave any more curious marks, but damn sure to get Itachi right where she wanted him.

Then, as Rurouni started tracing her finger around Itachi's naval, she finally had the desired effect. He grunted loudly into their re-formed kiss, and thrust his hips upwards unconsciously. Rurouni moved her hips against his slowly, not even nearly enough to let the pressure build up.

'Stop that!' Itachi snapped, the first words spoken between them since they began.

'Oh, alright.' Rurouni purred, and stopped all movement in her hips and dipped Itachi's head back for another kiss. She could feel the irritation, and a tiny hint of desperation, pour off him in waves. She forced down a snicker, and began playing with his hair tie and allowing her fingers to roam through his silky hair. Seriously, she should find out what shampoo he uses, there are a whole lot of girls that would kill for his hair.

'Not what I meant.' Itachi growled, pointedly and silently informing Rurouni that he wasn't going to beg.

'Okay then, not what you meant.' Rurouni chuckled darkly and moved against him again, harder than before but twice as slow. Itachi gasped before grabbing Rurouni's hips in reprimand and stopping all movement again, this time really glaring up at her.

'I know, I'll be good.' Rurouni laughed again, deeper this time and with an undertone of something else Itachi couldn't identify.

Quickly, before Itachi could come out with any other snappish complaints, Rurouni's hand swept downwards. Undoing the zip that held Itachi in, and grasping his shaft firmly. The look on his face was more than enough for the punishment she was sure to receive later.

Rurouni started moving her hand along his already-stiff member, hoping she was better at this than she felt she was and learning as she went along. She watched almost detached as Itachi's face turned pink, and his body became coated in a sheen of sweat and trembled under her hand. Even his breathing rattled irregularly throughout the empty cinema. Rurouni was watching, fascinated by the normally-emotionless man whose face had suddenly opened up as wave after wave of pleasure overcame his senses.

And then, when Rurouni tightened her grip and sped her movements up, Itachi cried out, grabbed Rurouni's hand with his own and sticky white fluid covered Rurouni's hand.

Itachi, typically coming to his senses just after what had been done, averted his eyes from Rurouni's almost embarrassedly and seemed to sink back into the seat just as the ending credits of the movie flashed up on screen. Rurouni frowned, this wouldn't do at all.

'I _would_ try something else, but seeing as the movie's over and the cleaners will be coming in soon it's probably not the best idea, ne?' Rurouni sat back on her haunches and grinned as Itachi gaped openly at her declaration. Not exactly a heart-felt declaration of love, but it was closer to it than anything he thought would ever come from Rurouni.

'Later then?' Itachi asked, barely believing what was going on himself.

'Yup.' was all the 'extremely romantic' bluenette had to say for herself. Itachi almost said it out loud, he never believed that if he had to get into a relationship that _he_ would be the more romantic one, but clearly it had happened.

As the two left the cinema they passed the cleaners by the door and Rurouni burst out laughing. It took Itachi mere moments to figure out why. Those cleaners were going to be surprised when they got to their row. Not the cleanest ejaculation Itachi had ever experienced, but to date definitely his favourite. Hopefully, better ones were on their way.

Shisui was disgusted at the sight of the unmanned popcorn stand. Even more so when he discovered he had to walk ten blocks just to get another one. But by kami was he going to do it, no distance could keep him away from popcorn, especially when it was someone else paying.

As himself and Hana approached the cinema after buying said popcorn, they had completely missed the end of the movie andwere just in time to see Rurouni and Itachi walk outside and amble aimlessly off into Konoha.

But the really weird bit was when Hana clamped her hand over his mouth and told him not to interrupt them. It's not like they were holding hands or kissing or anything, but Hana was insistent they stay hidden for a while before leaving them alone.

Why they didn't just leave the two alone in the first place was beyond him, but they followed Rurouni and his cousin for a total of ten minutes. And it was the freakiest ten minutes of Shisui's life. Itachi never scowled once throughout the whole time, he didn't smile either but that was beside the point. He was standing close enough to Rurouni for them to brush fingers with every step they walked, and to top it all off he actually seemed to be _listening_ to what Rurouni was saying. Shisui frowned almost sadly. Itachi never listened to _him_.

But as Shisui had been about to voice his complaint to Hana about this, she had pressed her index finger to his lips in warning, so of course he clammed up. Hana was too pretty not to listen to.

And, because of Itachi's weirdness, Shisui got to spend the rest of his day with her. He was so lucky!

He was completely elated when Hana motioned for them to leave when Itachi and Rurouni stopped at a bridge momentarily, and didn't even think on why they were tailing his cousin or why his cousin was acting so weirdly. Hana is too pretty.

Seregunda:I wrote this all in one go, so I hope I'm actually happy with how this went and not just delirious from exhaustion! R&R plz!


	24. Boom,etc, i want you in the basement?

Seregunda: Thanks so much to the people who reviewed, Lady Yuuki, vivet, Smilling Crazy and Dustland-Fairytales! Reviews really help my writing improve, and without further ado, on with the story!^-^

Disclaimer: As much as it pains me to say this, I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. Except Rurouni, and maybe one or two others. Tops.

* * *

Itachi felt scandalised, naked and mortified all in one go. Mostly because he _was_ all three of these things.

Himself and Rurouni had been, not 'boyfriend and girlfriend' because that was a little too ordinary to consider when Rurouni was in the picture, but they had been 'seeing each other more frequently' for about a week and a half.

And, completely disregarding her promise in the cinema, their tasting of each other had yet to surpass that day.

Itachi swore there were people out to get him. Shisui, Sasuke, Suigetsu, probably Rurouni herself, Hana, Naruto, Hidan and even his own mother! The list included more, but right now, in this predicament, Itachi's mind was a little too preoccupied to think of the rest.

The reason?

Sasuke, Mikoto and Fugaku had just walked into the living room while Itachi and Rurouni had been lying on the couch in possibly the most compromising position of Itachi's life. Typical, the one time he decides he wants to take control for a change is the time his entire family walks through the door while his tongue is rammed down Rurouni's throat and his hand part way up her top. Of course, Rurouni looked like the _perfect _little angel after Itachi had quickly retreated, face blushing heavily and her hands had been at her sides.

Any other day, and it would probably have looked like Rurouni was taking advantage of _him_. But of course, the girl with the devil's luck won out and decided that today she would be more relaxed. AKA, tough luck, you're screwed Itachi.

But of course, none of these emotions pass over the Uchiha's face. Except maybe a flicker of annoyance when his otouto's voice was the first to break the silence.

'Okaa-san, what were they _doing_?' Sasuke's voice was full of curiosity, sounding a little like Naruto when Rurouni had shown him one or two taijutsu techniques. Full of shock, wonder... and the absolute tiniest bit of jealousy.

'Sasuke, go find your team and head to Tsunade-sama's office right away, you've got a mission, remember?' Mikoto chided the sixteen year old gently, who simply huffed before stalking out of the room. Presumeably to find his team.

Itachi noticed Rurouni had sat up on the couch, the opposite end to where he himself was sitting, and looking every bit the innocent victim. _If only they knew_, Itachi groaned, spotting the act from a mile off but knowing neither of his parents knew her well enough to know how she'd react in this situation.

'Fugaku-kun, would you please bring Itachi up to our room for another _talk_? I think I'll take Rurouni-chan.' Mikoto smiled way too brightly than was necessary for the situation. Her husband seemed oblivious to this, seeing only the charming woman he married, and took his son by the elbow and quietly marched him out of the room. Itachi gave no complaint, but judging from the sypathetic look Mikoto sent him, he was in for a rough time.

Rurouni froze as Mikoto turned back to face her, bright and overly-cheerful smile still in place. Rurouni flinched just as Mikoto opened her mouth, expecting the worst.

'_Why didn't you tell me I was going to be able to have blue-haired grandchildren_!' Mikoto squealed loudly. Really loudly. As in, Rurouni slipped off the couch onto the floor and covered her ears loudly before her eyes widened in shock.

'I ain't popping out any babies any time soon!' Rurouni protested, just as loudly, which only served to return Mikoto's attention to her.

'I was so worried Itachi was gay! I know you got that password out of him before, but I was convinced you used torture methods. To think my little baby is a _real _man after all!' Mikoto cheered and punched the air uncharacteristically. Rurouni refrained from mentioning she knew a couple of gay guys personally from her travels, and some of them were ten times as masculine as Itachi would ever be. Granted, one or two of them are absolute puffs too, but that's only because they fit the stereotype.

'Alright, unless he's flunking biology in a seriously bad way, which I doubt, your son is 100% straight. That, or 51% bi with a leaning towards girls.' Rurouni examined her nails as Mikoto erupted into even further shrieks of happiness. Rurouni sighed at the spectacle before her. She didn't even know if Itachi was her boyfriend or not, but at least she knew if they ever got so far as to need a title that the mom isn't going to be the problem.

'That's amazing, better than I expected!' Mikoto chirped, before suddenly realising something and tutting impatiently.

'What?' Rurouni inquired, not sure whether she should be asking this or running as far from this woman as she physically can.

'I suppose it's true that those babies _would _hinder your ninja career for now... so use protection until you're ready! But if you're ready now that's fine by me!' Mikoto wheedled away at Rurouni, trying in vain to convince the bluenette to start a new generation of Uchiha's.

Rurouni scowled. 'Not going to happen. The babies, not the protection I mean.' Rurouni added as Mikoto's face lit up before falling at her words.

'Alright, but you should be thankful that's all I said. Itachi's getting it a lot worse upstairs, I can tell you.' Mikoto snickered as Rurouni turned to face the mother with badly-hidden curiosity.

'How?' was the only word Rurouni used, but the response made that one word worth it.

'I know my husband seems really stoic on the outside, but he's actually quite the pervert in bed. I can only imagine what Itachi's listening to.' Mikoto cackled, and Rurouni joined in until the two could be heard throughout the compound.

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The rest of the week was an odd one, Rurouni reflected. An odd week, with equally odd happenings in it.

First, she had come home after a sparring match with Itachi to find the bath in her house full, steaming and covered in rose petals. Five seconds later a confused Itachi had arrived at her front door holding a weird looking note that wasn't in her own hand writing telling him to come to her apartment because Naruto was on a mission. Rurouni proceeded to tell him that if she wanted him over she would have told him five minutes ago while sparring.

Next, Suigetsu had gotten even braver during their training sessions and, after distracting Rurouni with a surprising well-maintained water sculpture, he captured Rurouni in a full lip-lock just as Itachi was walking past which, needless to say, convinced the young water-nin to not try it since. Even after his... discussion with Itachi he had hobbled away mumbling something curious about the pain better be worth the money.

After that again, Mistletoe of all things had started putting itself up all over the Uchiha compound and Rurouni's own apartment. Nobody seemed to know how or who, but Rurouni had spotted Sasuke gathering them all up after Karin trapped him underneath one and burning them to a crisp with his _gokakyu no jutsu_.

And now, this. Rurouni grumbled, brushing off Itachi's arm crankily as they both scrambled around in the dark for either a light switch or a door handle.

Mikoto had asked the two of them to go find a light bulb in the basement, so of course they both trotted down for her because she claimed to be terrified of the huge spiders down there.

The second the two had moved as deeply into the basement as they possibly could, the door had snapped shut quickly and a key had turned in the lock. And, whe Rurouni had listened _really_closely, she had heard the sounds of someone snickering menacingly and scuttling away from the door purposefully. And then Itachi had proceeded to explain to her the reason why they couldn't just smash down the door: those paranoid Uchiha's have chakra seals on every door that activate once the door is locked. The only way out is if someone comes to find them.

Rurouni scowled, glad nobody could see the increasingly-furious expressions crossing her face in the dark.

'Found anything yet?' she called over to her partner in being victimised, who shook his head. Only to remember seconds later he couldn't be seen and responded with a simple syllable.

'Hn.'

'Me neither. But, I suppose someone's got to come down and get that lightbulb eventually so the door's bound to open soon.' Rurouni sighed as she flopped back on what she hoped was a sack of flour.

Meanwhile, Itachi, whose eyes were considerably well-adapted to the dark already, shot a sceptical look at the now-sitting shadow.

'You seriously believe that okaa-san wanted a lightbulb? After everything so far, you thought she really wanted a lightbulb?' Itachi asked exasperatedly, truly not believing that someone other than his cousing could fall for his mother's blatant follies.

'Um... no?' Rurouni cursed inwardly as her sentence came out sounding more like a question. She genuinely hadn't copped on to what Mikoto had been up to, but Itachi's voice in itself told her there was something painfully obvious that she missed and is missing.

'You're worse than Shisui.' Itachi's voice cut through the darkness better than any knife, as he sank onto a sack opposite her own. Rurouni herself couldn't see more than two inches in front of her face, but she was willing to bet that Itachi could. Those eyes of his can see through anything... wait...

'Itachi, sharingan can't see through clothes can it?' Rurouni asked aloud, barely (but still catching) the slight snort of laughter that Itachi let out.

'Of course not. Sharingan catches movements but it can't see through anything. If you're going to be suspicious of an occular jutsu, try the byakugan.' Itachi grinned, glad he couldn't be seen in the darkness.

'Oh. But you can see me now?' Rurouni pressed, waving her arms around her head for clarification.

'Yes, now stop acting like a windmill.' Itachi sighed, and massaged his temples slowly as Rurouni lowered her arms with a contemplative look on her face before shrugging it off and picking at the corners of her flour sack.

'I spy with my little eye something begi-' Rurouni half sang, half trilled.

'What are you doing?' before Itachi cut her off mid way anyway.

'I'm bored, what else is there to do?' Rurouni whined, staring in the direction she hoped Itachi was sitting in.

'You can't even see anything.' Itachi cut back, noticing Rurouni stiffen in surprise at the comment.

'Oh yeah.' Rurouni worded ponderously and fell back against sack once more.

And, once again, Itachi took note of Rurouni's body stiffening and he suppressed a groan. Whenever that girl tenses up, it's usually because she has an 'idea'.

'NINETY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER ON TH-' Rurouni bellowed loudly, loud enough for Itachi to throw himself across to Rurouni and force his hand over her mouth.

'What the hell do you want?' Itachi hissed in annoyance, watching as Rurouni's face took on an expression of amusement and... triumph?

'I'm glad you finally asked.' Rurouni beamed after prying Itachi's hand from her mouth, who had just frozen in recognition of their positions and cursed himself because (shut up) once again (_shut up_) Rurouni had taken advantage of something (**shut up**) that he had failed to (**_SHUT UP_**)

His mind was reeling with too many emotions to even take account of in his own head. He had only _just _been complaining himself about no opportunities for himself and his (girlfriend? Lover? Other half?) friend to move forward but... so far all the effort made has been on Rurouni's part.

It was disheartening as a man, especially seeing as this was something he was planning on keeping up, not some fling. But, there she was under him. That small, knowing smile in place as if she knew exactly what he was thinking (maybe she does) and how to answer everything he could say.

Stupid,

Irritating,

Annoying,

Caring,

Loving Rurouni who always knew what to do with him. Granted she seemed to know very little else, but it helped.

But, Itachi smirked to himself as he lowered himself down further just with the purpose of being closer to his (his _what_?) friend, not tonight. For a change, his mother had actually done something helpful on purpose, rather than everything just spiralling out of control. And he was going to take advantage of it, for this blue haired girl, not for himself. Even though it's more like killing two birds with one stone, he wanted the same thing she did. And probably a bit more.

Besides, Itachi thought as he finally pressed his lips lightly down onto Rurouni's, that door is unlikely to open any time soon.

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Deidara was, to say the least, pissed off beyond belief.

The Akatsuki had lost Hidan to an explosion resulting in a rockfall. Fine, they could deal with that because Kakuzu probably would have discovered some method to killing him eventually anyway.

What Deidara couldn't deal with was the fact that his 'revenge' on the jashinist had been to not give any communication methods to the silver-haired man, and now the idiot was sitting in the middle of Konoha with plenty of enemies to sacrifice and Rurouni at his side!

Leader-sama had said himself that had Konoha taken in nearly any other Akatsuki member but Hidan they would be in danger of secrets being let out. Hidan never listened during meetings and scarcely came to the hideout without Kakuzu leading the way so they were safe.

The whole Akatsuki had let out a collective sigh of relief as Deidara himself stewed with badly-concealed rage.

Even the recently-revived Sasori kept telling him to relax. And that was coming from _Sasori_, the king of stress.

So yeah, Deidara was pissed. Kisame seemed to find this hilarious of course, and kept wondering aloud what his 'Shrimp' and Hidan were up to. And even though it was clear the shark-nin thought there was nothing going on between the two (because it was soo obvious, Deidara hoped) he kept picking up an odd tone to his voice that told Deidara otherwise. And then it'd be gone again just to torment him further.

Deidara really didn't know how Rurouni had stuck the shark-nin's sense of humour for so long.

_'We blue things have to stick together!'_

Deidara grinned at the memory of Rurouni only four years ago, as tall as Deidara himself is now, sitting on the massive shoulders of Kisame while the two ate some weird seaweed flavoured ice cream.

'Senpaiiiii! Zetsu says he's going to eat Tobiiii!' Deidara frowned as an all-too-familiar whining voice cut through his memories and immediately brought forward the headache it always seemed to the second it sounded off.

'If you don't shut the hell up Tobi, un, I'll blow you sky high, un!' Deidara yelled as the orange mask-wearing Akatsuki member came skidding to a halt beside and his only visible eye widened at the sight of his senpai sitting at the edge of the cliff near the Akatsuki hideout.

'Senpai, Tobi knows things can be hard but don't listen to Hidan-san! Konan says self harm is baaaad!' Tobi sang, causing the pounding at the back of Deidara's head to increase triple-fold. Funny how he could set of the biggest and loudest explosions known to man without it phasing him and the second Tobi's whining voice came within earshot _bam_, instant headahce.

Without a word to the immature 'good boy' Deidara summoned up a large clay peregrine falcon, contrary to his usual owl, and sat on it's back determinedly.

There was no way he would be able to calm down until he saw this for himself. Orders or no orders,

Deidara was heading to Konoha.

Tobi shrieked after him as he took to the sky, but Deidara to no notice. Revelled in taking no notice, and basked in being able to _finally_ignore Tobi. He wasn't going to stay long. Just long enough to find Rurouni, watch her for a while or talk if there's nobody around, and then head back to the base. Nothing serious.

Deidara adjusted the scope he had placed over his eye and stared into the distance anxiously, nearly bouncing with impatience and one thing running through his mind.

_Hidan had better hope she's okay, un!_

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Hot.

Rurouni didn't know she could _get_ this hot, flustered and feverish without being strapped to a hospital bed in the sick bay.

She might have initiated the contact, but boy was Itachi ever taking control for a change.

Her shirt was already gone, somewhere to the left of the flour sack, her belt undone and Itachi was currently working on her combats.

On the other hand, Rurouni had only gotten so far as to remove his shirt.

It was too dark for her to see anything, but clearly that was no problem for Itachi. His hands seemed like they were everywhere, probably just because she never knew where they would land, and their bodies were pressed so tightly against the other that not even air could get between.

'Ugh.' Itachi grunted as Rurouni finally took up some of her usual participation levels and wrapped her legs around his waist just to make his job of removing her combats that bit more difficult.

His lips found her neck, face, lips, collarbone, stomach, ear. The kisses were sloppy, heated, and only focused on the one task of visiting every exposed inch of skin on her body.

Their progress was slow, and their ministrations had been taking place over the course of half an hour.

So, obviously, when Rurouni ground her hips hard, deep and sensually into Itachi's, his arousal was already prominent which made the action that bit more effective.

Itachi nearly gagged as he rolled his hips in time with hers, allowing pleasure to take over for a few moments. He regained control in the typical Uchiha fashion, too quickly with too much of it.

And the weak tugs at the front of his pants ensured that the two shinobi were thinking the same thing. The clothes have got to go.

And they did.

Though neither of them could really tell how.

And now, Itachi was touching her.

While she pulled out his hair tie.

While he positioned himself between her legs and silently asked for permission.

While she kissed him on the nose, granting him every right to her body just as silently.

And while she gripped his shoulders tightly to brace herself and told him he had better not go easy on her,

He pushed all of himself inside her with one fluid motion.

Her nails dug into his skin, but she refused to give even a hint away that she could be in pain. Despite what could be seen in her eyes. Itachi held himself still against his instict until Rurouni pressed up against himself and with a raspy, shaky voice ordered him to do just what he had wanted.

'Move.'

So, he did. And following her orders, he didn't hold back from the get go. He knew her body could take it, it would be insulting her to think or do otherwise.

'F-faster.' Rurouni asked quietly, not begging. Not needy. But asking. How could he refuse?

Rurouni arched into Itachi as he picked up the pace to something he didn't know he was even able to _reach_as Rurouni finally began to moan and writhe underneath him accordingly. He was letting out grunts and pants of his own.

'M-more.' Rurouni was moving to meet Itachi with every thrust, eyes clouded with lust for him, for what he was doing. So of course, Itachi tried to give her what she asked for, which was impossible from his current position.

He hooked an arm around Rurouni's waist and stumbled to his feet, her legs wrapped around his waist as they continued, showing no sign whatsoever of stopping.

This way, Itachi grinned as he took her deeper and deeper with each thrust, he was finally giving Rurouni the pleasure she had been giving him. Rurouni was crying out every time he slammed up into her now, and her walls were beginning to clamp onto him tighter and tighter with each thrust until finally, it happened.

There was no scream, no shriek as gave his all before he exploded, but there was a long almost-silent hiccupping gasp.

All Itachi could see was white, and Rurouni was seeing spots. So it was a surprise that, when they collapsed out of exhaustion, they actually managed to land on the sack of flour. Albeit clumsily.

Itachi lay gasping beneath Rurouni's form, shaking and sweating from exertion when the latter just started giggling uncontrollably as she lay splayed across his body.

'What?' Itachi asked, too tired to conceal any irritation that might come through that after they had finally, _finally_ done something like this that she was laughing.

'Nothing, I just think it's funny that the first time we do this, it's in your basement.' Rurouni's words ring through Itachi's ears.

_She said **first**_.

'You don't seem too tired after this.' Itachi huffed, slightly relieved at this revelation but slightly annoyed the girl was still so unaffected.

'Hm. Care to go another round?' Rurouni asked, grinning cheekily at her friend below her who could scarcely believe his (luck) friend's crude words.

'I'll take your silence as a 'yes' then. Oh, and this time I'm in charge.' Rurouni informed Itachi factually as she straddled his already growing lap.

'Really?' Itachi asked pointedly, even though he doubted he had the energy to please her the same way he just had twice in a row.

'Really really.' Rurouni flicked his nose playfully before leaning in to kiss him, which Itachi gratefully responded to.

_Please don't let them open that door any time soon,_ they thought in unison before continuing on with what they were doing.

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Seregunda: Alrighty, I hope that chapter was satisfactory. Yay, Deidara's coming back! ^-^ I luv him... but then I love nearly every character in Naruto too. Please R&R, I love you guys, and I'm willing to answer any questions readers might have! I don't mind HELPFUL flames either, as long as the flame tells me what it wrong with the story, no problemo here!


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